****** Admin Note ******
Another skribit topic … just for you … cause we love ya’ll … n sh*t.
************************
In college we used to have these forums all the time. They were pretty prominent across all colleges because it’s a question that undoubtedly gets asked when college is so focused on partying and sex, oh and education too (innocent smile). Well, me and Streetz about to go Marty Jannnety and Shawn Michaels on the topic and drop some knowledge on the subject.
Streetz: See, I beg to differ. You can definitely love God and love sex. Similar to oil and water, the two shouldn’t be loved at the same time. You shouldn’t be in church thinking about the shorty you gonna break off after Mass as I have before and tried not to but the devil be a recurring memory. Don’t judge me! Same way as you said thinking about God while you suicide dive into the coochie may prove bad for business. Although some women have shown their versatility by shouting out God, Jesus, Mary, and all 12 apostles (Judas too!) while we do the do. I applaud their multitasking ability.
Streetz: Church. Tabernacle. Synagogue. Mosque! What’s crazy to me is how we denote sex as “being bad”. I’m like a Catholic nightmare in the sense that I don’t always agree with my church’s views on certain issues, but I rep the 60 minute service clique to the death! I’m not a paragon of scripture, but I don’t remember anywhere saying premarital sex is wrong, that sex in general is wrong. I know that if someone has a wifey and you covet her, that’s wrong “Commandment #2″ and Adultery is also a no-no. So why did the church deem sex as horrible? Things to make you go “google”.
So what do you think SBM community? Can you love God and Sex? Do they intersect or are they mutually exclusive. Are Streetz and Dr. J heathens and “need more gospel”? Holla back,
Scenario 1
Boo’d Up Dude: Yeah man, me and shorty headed to the Caribbean. Lookin’ forward to it.
Concerned Friend: Dude, you know this could be it right?
BUD: What you mean? I’m not bringing a ring with me or anything.
CF: Man, vacations can either be the end or beginning of the heart of the relationship.
BUD: Come to think of it, you may be right. A lot of couples beef before and after trips.
CF: I wish yall the best man. I hope things go okay down there.
BUD: Things are always okay when I go down there…
CF: You perverted Bastard.
BUD: Yep.
Scenario 2
CF2: So you and shorty talkin’ about potentially living together?
BUD: Yeah, we still in a recession man. Gotta save the loot. We get along well though.
CF2: You do know that once you move in together, there’s no turning back right?
BUD: We’ll be aight. We spend a lot of time spooned up as is.
CF2: That’s cool and all, but if yall decide to go back to separate apartments after a year, the relationship is done B.
BUD: Can’t people just be happy for me!?!?!?
There are a lot of things at play that can make or break a relationship. Aside from people slidin’ off or just treatin’ their significant other like sh*t, there are more subtle yet equally as monumental events that can either strengthen the bond or make it dissolve like alka-seltzer. The 2 scenarios I presented above are things that should be “happy events”. Key words for this are “should be”. I used to just think that these things were myths. How could going on a vacation with your boo be a potentially bad thing? How could making an informed decision to move in together backfire? I used to be a young and naive fellow. Then I started consulting and playing therapists for family members and friends. It was at that point that I realized the perils of each situation.
Vacations: Too Much Quality Time?
Many of us have been on vacations with our boos. I’m talkin about happy vacations where we go and take cute pics to put up on Facebook, Myspace, or Twitter. The type of pics that will have shorty and her girls saying “awwww” and his boys sayin’ “you are one poptart arse negro!” Yes, you know exactly what I’m talking. Vacations are supposed to be a time to relax and enjoy each other’s company. But honestly, when you’re on an island or resort with that same person for hours upon hours without a real excuse to get away, this dramatically increases the opportunity for OD deep talk and arguments. Sometimes we don’t see the true someone until they are completely relaxed. A vacation is one of the ideal times for someone to relax and let the real them shine through.
Movin’ On In
This one may be a bit more obvious, but moving in with the boo seems great on the surface even though it can prevent major obstacles down the road. Once yall move in together, you really can’t go back to gettin’ your own places if things don’t work out. If yall can’t resolve your issues and continue to renew the lease, the relationship def won’t be renewed. I never been through this one, but it seems to be one of those unsaid things.
So for today, what do yall think? Are vacations and shacking up really make or break situations or can a couple recover? Are there any other major or events or situations that can seal the deal? And lastly, what are your stories? Have any of the readers here shacked up and broke up or went on vacation and ended up crappier than when you started? Let’s discuss.
Tentatively taking romatic trips,
![]()
***** Admin Note *****
Because we really love you all and listen to you … here is another post based off of a skribit suggestion. Keep suggestiong topic using the little tool on the site … we do listen.
Also … the survey is done with. Thanks to everyone who completed the survey … and expect changes to come soon.
- SBM … aka … The Management
************************
To my ladies …
You’re walking down the street, heading from work to your local favorite happy hour. You’re looking good because this morning you knew you were heading out looking for a new man after work, with you little power suit, that now has been adjusted to show a little post work cleavage. As you walk down the sidewalk … you hear that familiar phrase …
“Excuse me miss … can I get some conversation?”
You roll your eyes, turn around smiling because you don’t need to be called a stuck up b*tch this early in the night, and politely say … “I’m in a rush. I’m meeting some friends”.
“Well can I meet your friends too?”
*sigh* … this isn’t going to be simple. “No, we are going to a spot with my boyfriend (a lie), and I don’t want to surprise them with anyone”
“Why don’t you just slow down a little … and I’ll just talk to you while you walk. You can tell me about your boyfriend.”
Yes … even as a guy who accepts and demands the right to “holla” at any woman at anytime, luckily (for women) I can take a hint and am not going to harass someone who is not interested … I got better ways to spend my time. But, sadly every guy isn’t like me, and some are just relentless. And as someone who has been harassed by drunk, forward and fugly women at the club … I feel your pain. So, for all the women out there (cause I love ya’ll), here is …
SBM’s List of ways to get him to leave you alone
Tell him it’s your boyfriends birthday … and he’s in the club/restaurant/bar with you
Saying you have a boyfriend is the first thing women learn in “How to Duck a n***a 101″, but even a nice guy like me (I’m so considerate … really) won’t take that mess half of the time … because your probably lying. It was one of my good female friends who expanded on the classic. If it’s his birthday, and he is on the other side of the club … well … even I’m gonna give up. Just make sure he doesn’t catch you giving out your number later … women are getting called a stupid b*tch out now.
The Super Silent Treatment
As a guy, you need some sort of response. You need some small sliver of hope that your words are gonna end in some draws and backshots a number and a date. If we get nothing but silence and a mean mug … even the hardest of pursuers is going to have to give up. And for this to work, no smiling, no talking ot your girls, no nothing!!! *Warning* … There is a high probability you will get cursed out as a result.
Here … let me get your number
Women take numbers from guys all the time … every day … all day. How many women actually call the numbers that they take … 10%. We know what is happening, but like I said … all we need is a sliver of hope. She has the number … and if she does call … we know your down to ride you upside down in a seedy hotel room interested. But … be careful … don’t give him your phone to put in the number … we’re smart. All we gotta do is call our phone from her’s … and boom … got the number.
Ask for a drink … and some food … and a necklace … and some shoes … and …
We all know that simps exist … and they’re out there f*cking up the game for all of us good Cocksmen … but 75% guys are going to be turned off ASAP. The key … you need several hundred dollars from this guy and you just met him. Again … delivery is what sells it. No smiles, no laughing, no giggles, and detailed serious demands. “I know you just met me, but you need to buy me and my girls a bottle of patron platinum (club retail price of $1000) if your serious. I don’t drink anything less!”
Spit in his face
Sure there is a 50% chance that you’ll get punched in the throat by a guy if he’s willing to ht a woman (80% chance your gonna get spit back at, a drink thrown in your face, or possibly cut) … but I bet he’s not gonna try and get in your pants anymore.
Talk about how hard life as a woman is since the surgery
If this doesn’t get him to run away … well … you might as well just go ahead and marry him because there is no person on this earth more dedicated to you than this stranger here … or he’s just gay.
—–
As always … practice makes perfect. Go out to your local street corner and practice these techniques on the teenagers posted up on the street. Once you can deter them without getting called a b*tch or having something thrown at you … your ready to take your newfound skills out into the world and happily make it down the street.
I’m not a woman, so I know I missed a couple. Got any more to add? Which ones are the most effective? Guys, what things will get you to stop … if anything?

Good day fine people! If you look over to your left you will see that the fine writers here at SBM take your opinion very seriously and aim to please you, so this topic is from one of our excellent readers out there in the blogosphere. Additionally, I do tons of recreational drugs and don’t have an original thought in my head, so it helps every one out.
“How far should you go to maintain your appearance in a relationship?”
Good question. Just like most things in life, I think this on a case by case basis. Generally speaking, I think most people in a relationship would like to have their mate look pretty much the same as the day they met them. But in a society that moves so fast on a daily basis and is so dependent on processed damn near deadly food, this is almost improbable. Couple this with work, kids and all the stuff that consumes time and most people don’t have time to think about eating healthy and getting their hair did. Single people tend to care more about their appearance, but then once they get locked up, they assume their partner loves them for who they are on the inside (only on afterschool specials folks). People get boo’d up and the haircuts are less frequent, nail appointments aren’t as urgent, and the thought of eating salads becomes totally absurd.
I think the emphasis placed on your physical appearance in a relationship should be as important to you as it is to your partner. If you find yourself sitting on the couch pounding a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a Heineken every time wifey gets home from the gym, she’s definitely giving you the side eye and giving her personal trainer the bedroom eyes. It’s like Chris Rock said, if you do crack and she goes to church, it’s probably not gonna work out. Conversely, if your SO is coming home from work with his and her pints of ice cream and six pack of lager, then you can look forward to more romantic nights of listening to each other getting fat for years to come. I actually have a friend that is notorious for ending relationships because his love interest has lost weight. Our convos usually go like this:
RCLS: Dawg, what’s good with you and shorty?
Dawg: That’s a wrap, kid.
RCLS: Que pasa? She a spitter?
Dawg: She lost about 10 pounds since we hooked up and just signed up for a Bally’s membership. Such a turnoff.
RCLS:……………………..
Dawg: Yea kid, you know me…I like ‘em short, black, damn near fat…
RCLS: (Smh) You’re nuts. Stop chiefin….
Different strokes for different folks. If you’re pleasantly plump and enjoy being that way, I don’t recommend dating a narcissist. Unless they’re a narcissist with a gigantor ego, then they’ll be more concerned about looking better than you and won’t mind if you don’t look as hot as them. (Yes, gigantor is a word, so feel free to break it out during your next Scrabble match.)
From my novice observations, I think men have a tendency to be a little more particular about their SO’s appearance than vice versa. Not saying that women are innocent in all this, but fellas have no problem moving on if certain things aren’t in order. Which, one on hand, I can understand cuz if you buy a house and the siding starts falling off as soon as you close, you might want your money back. But, I am one of the brothers that emphasizes with a woman’s plight: they have to make sure the nails are did (To hell w/ Katt Williams, plum and red don’t match.), make sure their hair is flawless, get the makeup right, shave unsightly places, smell like fresh roses 24 hours a day as well as deal with their friend popping up every month. And of course, we can place the blame on the media’s hold on our brains, but generally speaking women are a little more lenient on appearance issues, unless the D shrinks…that’s pretty much the deal breaker.
I guess in the long run, no one wants to feel jipped. The biggest thing is probably consistency. If you gettin’ lined up twice a week when you were single, don’t think wifey won’t trip if you let that slip. I don’t think when she first laid eyes on you she thought “Damn…he’s fine, but I wonder what he looks like scruffy…”. It’s a fine line…don’t kill yourself over your SO’s opinion, but also…please, don’t let yourself go under the premise that you are locked down and your mate should be happy. Depreciation affects us all.
Talk to me people…ever been dumped cuz son found out you got that Indian hair from Sharonda’s Temple of Hair and not from your mama? Any fellas ever found themselves kicked to the curb cuz they started stretching out their wifebeaters? Put your snacks down and holla!
Getting finer with each passing day,
RightCoastLexSteele, Cocksman Pro Tempore















Recent Comments