Over the past few days I have been asking for someone to indicate to me the types of things that women must do in order to make a relationship work and keep their man happy. While the initial person never responded, Young Belizean Lady helped give me a little insight over at her blog. I decided I would take a crack at answering the question myself.
In no way is this a continuation of the previous days comments and posts, but a new topic all together.
10. Make him his favorite meal
There is nothing like a home cooked meal. When your woman actually knows your favorite meal, and takes the time to prepare it (from scratch for full points). It shows you know him, shows you care, and also gives him a home cooked meal. If you cook on a regular, than you need to take the extra mile to make it special.
9. Buy some new lingerie and wear it for him (preceding sex)
If your man loves your body (which he should if he is with you) … then he will love this. Key thing though … you must have sex with him afterward (in case you didn’t know). Also, wear something your confident in and makes you feel sexy, you being self conscious is not sexy!
8. Don’t ask “How was your day?” … give him personal time
Yes, you want him to ask you this, and you want to spend hours talking about this while he is watching his favorite show, but resist the urge. Actively let him know that you want to give him some time for himself. Even set it up for him. Grab him a beer, record his favorite show, and just leave him alone.
7. Give him a blowjob while he is driving
A blowjob on its own would show your love, but it should happen enough that he wouldn’t think too much of it. Every guy wants to get head while driving a car (well I don’t know a guy who doesn’t), but its a rarity and often difficult to negotiate. Your willingness to do something he really wants, personally expose yourself, and just give him some surprise head will make his day.
6. Clean his house/room/apartment
Again, nothing special for a lot of people, but for some … its such a beautiful gesture. When I was in college, my girlfriend, at the time, cleaned up my horrendous bedroom while I was at work as a surprise for me … I almost cried. If your man is a clean person, this won’t work … he must be a slob.
5. Give him a full body massage … then have sex
Here, the sex is important. Set the mood (nice dinner would help), set it up by telling him he needs some attention and too relax, give him a good massage with massage oil, and then f*ck him like he is going away to war. The attention will be great, but the hot sex is like icing on the cake.
4. Do the freaky thing he has been asking for
Maybe he wants to explore a new orifice, maybe he wants some deep throat … but I’m not going to sully this post with more examples … you know what he likes!
3. Pay for something … Anything
Treat him to dinner, pick up the tab next time you get drinks, knock out a light bill … whatever. When a woman pays for something it shows that she is committed to the permanence of whatever you two have. It also will help reassure him that your not out for his money.
2. Buy him a very personal gift
Show him that you really listen to him and get him something he wants and will love. If he has a hobby (especially if you hate it) buy him something to foster it. If he is a sneaker fiend, get him something exclusive shoes in his size. If he is into clothes, get him that hard to find shirt. Just do something that shows effort and deep thought. No flowers, or boxers that you like, or anything that you will enjoy. Its about him.
1. Fulfill his fantasy
Every guy has some fantasy that borders on the edge of illegal. If he hasn’t told you, good bet it involves another woman. Do whatever you need to … hire a midget, buy those gerbils, call the escort service, call in that favor from the guy you know with the key to the roof of your office … just make it happen. He will forever remember you … even after you break his heart.
If you didn’t notice, a lot of these revolve around sex … because guys like sex. If he is still with you, there is a good chance he is getting sex. Make it special to make him feel good.
Hopefully this will give certain people some tips, pointers, and ideas on how to make him feel good for a change.
Damn this post was spot on! Good $h^+ SBM!
got your comment, maybe we should clone her huh, so can i roll u or what
I’m checking for this list but the head game is going to need to be in a parked vehicle, boo. I’ve been adventuresome like that in a past life and nearly killed us both!!!
Ladies, be careful with attempting #7!!!!!
I’ve done all these things and more. I didn’t think you required a damn map!!!
And one more thing before I pack for FLL.
You LOVE lists. LOVE THEM. But aint nan one of them lists ever been comprised of WHAT YOU DO. Top reasons why SBM is XYZ, what SBM has to offer XYZ..why not do one of those beside what you want in a wife, what can be done to please you. WHAT HAVE YOU DO LATELY.
DONE LATELTY
@Anti: Thanks … I try
@RawDawg: Oddly enough, cloning her might be easier than finding her.
@Tiffany: If he’s not swerving, your not doing it right.
@Comeback: Why so mad? I talk about what I do all the time, but I’ve already written a post (unpublished at this point in time) to ease your mind. Also, if you do all of these things and more, funny how you couldn’t think of a single one to answer my repeated requests. No need to be angry and use caps … chill.
@Comeback: Why so mad? I talk about what I do all the time, but I’ve already written a post (unpublished at this point in time) to ease your mind. Also, if you do all of these things and more, funny how you couldn’t think of a single one to answer my repeated requests. No need to be angry and use caps … chill.
—
its not anger. Its frustration and there is a difference. And proves my point. You have 11 million lists (and hoops) for a woman to jump through—but we ladies are selfish?
whatever. This is getting comical to me.
And no, I don’t need to itemize what I do. Because its second nature and organic. Do you think if I was ONLY just sitting around for the phone to ring-as my great GIVE to a relationship–would the phone really ring? and EVERYDAY? no men aren’t stupid. I have a lot to give-and I do for men who are deserving.
And so far its working for me. And when it stops, then I’ll cross that bridge later.
SBM – Oh, I do it RIGHT, that’s why we almost ended up the ditch.
Comeback Girl – Why you mad, sistergirl??
aint nobody mad Tiffany. I’m just utterly perplexed. I think I’m gonna give myself timeout.
@Tiffany: Lol … thats right. Funny thing … as long as you were both alive and walking … he probably wouldn’t have cared about the ditch or car.
@Comeback: So much hostility. I can’t simply put out a list of things I would like my woman to do for me and give all those out there a good starting point for their own realtionship bliss. I didn’t ask for a list, just one thing. And its nice to say “I do stuff”, but when you can’t think of anything you do … makes me wonder. And also, there are plenty of stupid men, not knocking you and your situation, I just feel sorry for the guy who get publicly lambasted for missing a call.
Sorry if I got too personal. Just speaking my mind.
And don’t worry, I’ll talk about all the lovely things I like to do later this week, because I wouldn’t want this “discussion” to be one-sided.
@Comeback: I find rubbing my ears and saying “woo saw” to be very calming
SMB, enjoyed this post. All that cloning you & Raw Dawg are talking about is not necessary… Lol. There are plenty of us who do #s 1-10 for our men on a regular. In my experience, showing the man appreciation and keeping him fed (in every since of the word) are a given in keeping him happy. When he’s happy, he acts right. Then I’m happy.
@Dark & Stormy: Please send a blood sample to me so we can get the process started. I don’t have the money yet to get this cloning thing off the ground, but after I tell people what we want to do … we’ll have more support than Obama!
great list…
#8 sounds simple but would be hard for me to do.
@Brittany: Its only hard in theory. Just practice with a friend first. Ask them out, then just don’t talk to them about stuff.
Interesting list. I was with you until #1. lol
8. Don’t ask “How was your day?” … give him personal time
Ooooh my girlfriend is a repeat offender..Can I can call the police! How about Al Sharpton! Should be some law against this!…
@Sheila: You don’t want to fulfill his fantasy? Midgets aren’t that bad.
@Mr Slish: Use some subconscious suggestions. Put a tape recorder with a loop of #8 under her pillow while she sleeps. She’ll wake up serving you breakfast and then leaving … results guaranteed.
I love your blog…i’m just tuning in!
Good post, lots of good information here for both genders. Also, i’m not sure if it you actually meant to or not but there’s a balance of (5) sexual and (5) non sexual ‘ways’ that you came up with. Very good (the balance) for those relationships that haven’t gone to that next level.
sbm, you’re right. seems the majority revolve around sex…are you implying that if there is no sex involved, a guy would ultimately lose interest?
@BPrice: Its all about that balance.
@Wynters: In most cases, sex can be swapped out for whatever “physical” thing you do. Whether it be oral, or just intense kissing … but … yes … I do believe if some intamacy is not involved … he will lose interest.
Can I flip #8? In my house it is the opposite. HE is the one who comes home and asks how was your day? I want the space to just chill when I get home. He gets offended if I don’t ask him about his day. As you can see all men are not created equal (so this list won’t work for everyone)because he wants to be asked and I don’t want to ask!
great list, been there – done that…cept no. 6..only did that to ex husband..I would think men would get all freaky that I was cleaning/had cleaned their personal space…I can’t think of one dude I’ve dated recently that I would do that for…I’m slipping..let me step my game up!
@Drea: You could start doing #7 as soon as he walks in and minus the car. He won’t ask you anything …
@GeeGee: I was thinking that when writing that one. Part of it is too “wife like”, but part of it is the sweet gesture. You could just bang out some dishes … baby steps …
You know women don’t like all that truth telling. LOL.
#8 could save a lot of women a lot of headache.
you will find if you dont ask him anything when he first walks in the door and you just give him time to unwind you will score sooooo many points. you can say hi when he first walks in but don’t bombard him with questions… it works wonders. i promise.
First and foremost I just wanted to say I like your blog. For anyone wondering, yes IM new and IM a black female. The reason I wanted to reply to this post is because it really made me laugh and curse at the same time. Here’s what i think of this list.
#10 – LOL, I cook once a year. #9 – how about I wear different color boyshorts. #8 – Honestly, when I ask how your day is, I don’t really care. Sorry, it sounds mean, but IM just being honest. #7 – LOL, next. #6 – Cleaning is not my thing. I try not to mess anything up so I don’t have to be cleaning for hours. After 15 minutes, it’s time for some tv. #5 & #4 – LOL. #3 – Anything over $50, for get it, lol. #2 – IM bad at shopping for anyone that isn’t myself, so I give out gift cards. #1 – sounds like #4 and #5 to me.
I know I sound crazy, but hey, I am. I can’t help it.
@QB & LVL: Welcome
@LVL: Lol … damn … not a single one on the list?!?!?
Thank you! For some reason I just find this list amusing. I should make a list for the women, well not the women, myself. I think every women’s list would be different.
Wow, this is a dude oriented website, and I love it. I posted a comment earlier, for those who did not read it, I mentioned my love for black men. I am one of those women that believe that if you got a good man, you should show him that you think that he is. Even if you bring home most of the bacon, make him feel like the King he is, there is nothing wrong with being submissive, some women-especially black women-I hate to say, because I am an African-American woman myself; many of us feel that being submissive is a sign of weakness, it is not; moreover, you can still be a strong black sister and submit to your man. Have great intimate and intelligent conversations with him, and give him the best sex ever in the bedroom, a king deserves to be treated as such. Oh, Yeah cook him a great meal.
Also, it is important for us to not nag men either. One more thing that need to be on the list, women should keep bitter man hating women friends out of their relationship. I am 28 years old, and there is a stereotype that says that younger women don’t take care of their men, I am dispelling that myth.
Sisters there are still lots of good black men out there; the media tries to make black women believe that all of our men are in jail, down low brothas, or with white women; I will never allow for the media to hinder my loyalty to the brothers. Most of the women who complain about black men, have set low standards for themselves, and then want to point fingers at the man; moreover, no one forced you to have unprotected sex with a man with no job, or on drugs, and not paying child support.
Just in case you wanted to e-mail me:
I posted my e-mail address on a previous comment-It was the one about Black from Flavor of Love 3.
Someone posted their phone number on here, so I said hey, I will post my e-mail-lol. I did really.
Densie, your comment only seemed to focus on pleasing the man. What about your happiness. I don’t believe in being submissive to anyone, I tried that and was walked on. I believe in being equal in a relationship. I don’t believe in gender roles. Why when a woman talks about pleasing a man the only focus is on the man. If a mans ego is so big that he can’t handle being an equal partner then he’s the one with the problem not the woman. It’s a new day and age. Women can do what men do and so on and so far. Why can’t he make a meal, why can’t he clean up, why does the focus always has to be him? Submit to a man, why, because he has two balls and a shaft between his legs. Some men need to get over themselves and some women need to stop trying to desperately follow men around like dogs.
ALL of these are good tips but giving a blowjob while a man is driving can be dangerous.. especially if she’s good at what she does..
The woman you’re describing above is a slave + prostitute + suga mama –> 3 in 1. Are you really going to *respect* a woman like that? Don’t need to answer me. Answer yourself.
wheeze up [url=http://www.oneview.co.uk/url/details.jsf?urlId=114905]buy cialis[/url] untidiness tied up to
Where to start, hmmmmm….
I guess a brief introduction and explanation would be appropriate. I took a moment to google “black and african american dating advice” and I stumbled upon this post. I’m sure this makes me seem rather desperate, so let me clarify. I am desperate, for information and alternate perceptions.
I think this post, in its simplicity, is pretty insightful and deep. I appreciate the honesty and look forward to providing the above ’services’ to a WORTHY man. SBH, I’ve perused this blog and I think I’ll enjoy it. This particular post is nearly a year old, so I doubt you’ll read this comment. Nonetheless, you have my support, interest and attention.
Here’s to invigorating comversation *cheers*
*conversation
I feel that this piece does nothing to “empower” Black women, but rather, encourages them to keep “in their GOD given place”= SERVING men.
Yes, some of these things are nice and can make your partner feel special, but why is it all about gender roles?
I, a Black woman, can only do so much to speak to men. It is not our (women’s) job to educate men about their privilege, just as it is not up to people of color to help white people understand their’s.
On that note, I was glad to come across this link last week.
http://jewelwoods.com/node/9
The Black Male Privileges Checklist
“While it is understandable that black men are hesitant or reluctant to examine the concept of male privilege, the African American community will never be able to overcome the serious issues that we face if we as black men do not confront our role in promoting and sustaining male supremacist attitudes and actions.
Inviting black men and boys into a conversation about male privilege does not deny centuries of discrimination or the burden of racism that we continue to suffer from today.”
personally, i dont find it useful at all. U cud do all they things fair enuff but tht doesnt show him tht u truely love him. Above is all sex related. wat happend 2 old fashioned romance.
sorry if i offend anybody but i just feel like the 10 tips above doesnt show ur man u love him. basicly, all ur doing is cleaning, cooking and havin sex. which most relationship consist of.
I Agree with sheriz. Theres more to women than that. Should b a poll for 10 ways to appreciate women 4 what the do 4 men. Doubt it tho.
I am a black 22 year old woman and, think that if you wonna keep aneone you love, we should be real, true and onest, but most importantly if we’r trying to keep a man, we should make sure his the one and we should make sure that his not just using as or having fun becouse we woman old allot faster becouse of all the shit that they put as true.
I belive that you should please your man becouse his minde will wonder off, true not foulth of his own, trust me he wont even know his doing it! even if you’v hade kids try to resist temptation and get your self back in to sexy mode. if you and him are wento be then it’ll happen if not be strong coz life is a bech and evrything happens for a reason.
On… point!!!
Good stuff!!!!
Very thorough list…!
Ladies,how ’bout you lay a surprise b.j. on your boy ALMOST ANYWHERE IN THE HOUSE????
i do all of them things!! well i did them to get him and ive gotten him but how do get to the next step in the relation i think he thinks that i dont reallycare for him so what do i do to show him that i care
Now, I’m a Christian who’s saving her virginity for her husband… Any advice on how to show him I love without all the sex?