Comments on: When “Knowing What You Want” Goes Wrong!: Finding your soulmate

By: A Beautiful ME

A Beautiful ME — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 18:42:41 +0000

totally agree with Southern Belle. You shouldn’t totally consume yourself with what he brings, but also consider what you can bring. Often times we think in a selfish manner, thinking of what can he do for me. Some women never realize, until it’s almost to late, that he had to be satisfying with you as well. You have to possess something that he desires to keep him interested in you (something other than sex), just as you would require of him.
The bottom-line to this list thing, is first get to know your strengths and weakness, assessing what you have to offer yourself and a man. You can’t expect someone to get to know you if you don’t know your real self. Then make a list of what qualities in a man you would like to date. I would suggest sticking to his character and not his physical characteristics, braids and dreadlocks can be cut into a neat haircut, but a person’s character cannot be changed. Lastly, review the list to ensure you are not requiring something from this man that you don’t require of yourself.

By: Southern Belle

Southern Belle — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 03:00:18 +0000

I must admit I had a list when I was younger but eventually lost it because I felt like it was a distraction to a certain extent. Do I have a list now? Yes. A little one. Settling only permits and leaves the opportunities and desires for something better to come along — the attraction gets my attn but the personality and intellect keeps it. The majority thinks about what is already at the table before thinking of what they have to offer before proceeding in a courtship. I expect a lot as I would like for my potential honey to expect a lot out of me and not think that he’s settling. Our wants and needs should fit like my favorite dress — we would take such good care of each other that we would know each other’s worth so we can compromise on the other stuff. One cannot solely think on what the other’s bringing to the table when their lacking.

I see the braids & cornrows issue but I cannot see how someone cannot do locs (well kept ones) but would like one to accept their weave?

By: SBM

SBM — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 03:10:44 +0000

@Hunnie: True

@Ms. Sula: You really might be. Kinda shocked.

By: Ms.Sula

Ms.Sula — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:11:14 +0000

….I see I’m the only female left with no lists written…

***scratches off head and racks brain in search of 65 non-negotiable***

Funny!

By: Hunnie.Wright

Hunnie.Wright — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:57:15 +0000

“When dating I believe people should be more open minded and flexible. ”

@ Ms. Devereaux I completely agree with you
that’s probably the reason why people end up all alone. They strictly adhere to the list. Sometimes the list needs to be tossed out and complete revised. That’s why, SMB, I agree with your “3″ rule

By: SBM

SBM — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:02:39 +0000

@Haddassah: My opinion has officially changed to 5 now. 3 was too hard for even me in retrospect.

@Allison: THANK YOU. That point is missed by so many people its ridiculous.

@CapCity: Thank you for proving that 3 is not that difficult. Appreciate that.

@Hasani: It never ends … sorry.

@AnythingBlack: Yo … those are practically the same numbers I came up with in my post “Percentage of Quality”. And you believe people think its higher than 5%.

@Sheila: Your right about being able to live up to what you want. Otherwise, you just fall into that sad & selfish category.

By: Shelia

Shelia — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:11:37 +0000

Great topic SBM as usual. If you can narrow your main requirements down to 3, then you will probably leave out the “superficial” stuff. Examining oneself is important as well because unless you know yourself, how are you going to know what you want.

When it comes to “requirements” you should make sure you’re also able to live up to those same things you’re wanting.

By: www.anythingblack.wordpress.com

www.anythingblack.wordpress.com — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 14:52:28 +0000

I just need an honest responsible female and motivated woman with an ounce or two of natural beauty. Black america has tarnished our women rending 95% worthless. To t he 5% still worth a shit, I commend you