The Female Player: Differentiating the playette from a Ho
Posted by: SBM in Women, tags: Dating, female player, playette, Sex, Women![[PIC] Pimpstress [PIC]](http://www.singleblackmale.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/flypimptresssuzieslamsmd.jpg)
A lot of women like to say “I’m a player” or “I’m treating these guys just like they treat us”. They come to this conclusion because they sleep with a bunch of guys and feel like they don’t get emotionally attached and are just using these people for d*ck. They claim they “control their sexuality” and identify with Samantha of “Sex and The City” (yes … I do like and I watched the show) … but sadly … 95% of them are mistaken. To that mistaken majority … listen to me now:
YOU ARE A HO!
I’m just tired of these girls who are really promiscuous and loose thinking they are doing something special. Your not! Just because your capable of sleeping with a lot guys does not make you special. Some call it a double standard (because a guy who can sleep with a lot of women may very well be a player) … and it may be … but then again life is filled with double standards. Fresh manicures are necessary for men. Short hair looks better on guys. Paying on the first date is almost a requirement for males. Accept them.
To be a female player, there are certain requirements to be called a female player. Here is a small list of criteria defining the “Female Player”:
You have a solid “team” of highly desirable men
You can’t be a player if you only have one guy. And you can’t be a player if your guys are all the people nobody wants. Any women who considers herself a player, needs to have at her disposal a group of men that genuinely want her, show it, and she is not just sleeping with. You can sleep with people on the team … I’m not saying that … but if they’re staying around because of sex (as a woman … its almost impossible for you to know this) … then your not a player (and you might be a hoe in his eyes) … but if its not the case … you might be a player.
You don’t have to sleep with a guy to get dinner, dates, and attention
Its easy to get sex from a guy. Often times we’ll sleep with anyone as long as their willing. Having money spent on you is significantly harder, but still not that hard. A lot of guys, especially simps, are quick to spend money. When you get a combination of time & money, thats significant. Time being the key thing … as guys, we’re stingy with it … so to get a lot of time without giving sex for a prolonged period of time (2+ months) from several people … you might just be a player.
Your guys stay “in the game” for long periods of time (3+ months)
I personally suffer from Relationship ADD and am quick to lose interest. I know this happens with plenty of other males … so if you find that the people you are “entertaining” stay around for extended periods of time (without sex … cause sex will keep me around for ages) … then you might be a player.
Your guys say they love you and show it
“We don’t love them hoes” … a famous quote by Snoop Doggy Dogg and a general law of the land for men. If your a hoe or thought of as a hoe … then he should not and probably will not show you real love. If your people truly love you … you might be a player.
Your guys get mad and upset at you
Hoes and jumpoffs are not worth getting upset over. We might be mad that the “free p*ssy” is over, but general we’re not going to expend that type of energy over a “second class citizen”. If the people on your team express hurt, caring, anger, disappointment, and other emotions his friend will clown him for … you might be a player.
I hope this was useful to the women out there … because this one is to you. I’m just tired of hos thinking their special (and not all women are hoes … I’m specifically talking to the hos) because the title of player is not easily earned.
Just to argue the other point … there are plenty of guys thinking they are players (many of them simps in reality) … and I will touch on that subject shortly.
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April 21st, 2008 at 11:00 am
I look forward to reading the comments from this post…lol
I don’t believe in double standards–if the man is sleeping around with anything that opens her legs–he’s a ho.
I agree with this statement- You don’t have to sleep with a guy to get dinner, dates, and attention.
April 21st, 2008 at 12:04 pm
I’d like to know who all these women are: “A lot of women like to say “I’m a player” or “I’m treating these guys just like they treat us”.” PARTICULARLY those who are sleeping with their gentlemen callers. I think the above can ONLY be perfected when you have REMOVED sex (as you describe above).
It really takes a hoe to know one (piggy backing off of Shelia’s sentiment). Are you suggesting that a man can’t be a hoe when he sleeps with multiple women for free azz? What does that say about him ALONG with the women he sleeps with?
To me a woman at some point in her life (SHOULD DATE LIKE A MAN) minus the sex. Since sex clouds judgement. To me being well mated is a numbers game. And you can only win if you “play”.
April 21st, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Men aren’t hos, we “sow our wild oats”.
Please respect my double standards and I will respect yours.
April 21st, 2008 at 12:30 pm
@Sheila: I foresee a lot of “I’m a player” or “I’m not a hoe” or “I’m like Lil Kim” comments … but what do I know. Yes, a man can who sleeps around is a ho also, its just that ho for a man means a completely different thing and just isn’t as much as a negative.
@Comeback: You would be surprised. Its not a majority, but there are a lot of girls thinking their “mastering their sexuality”. I’m glad that we have managed to agree on something else (sex must be removed for the title). I will say that this dedicationg to “playing the game” and the importance you place on numbers is a bit disheartening. Hopefully it’ll work out for you.
April 21st, 2008 at 12:37 pm
The Comeback Girl, I agree. A woman should be able to date as much as she wants (SBM…that does not mean she is sleeping with all the men she dates.)
Antidater it’s kind of hard to respect a ho whether it be a male or female.
SBM, I disagree. In my opinion a male ho is just as bad as a female ho. Of course you being male you’re going to think differently on that.
Shameless plug here, but the way SOME men think on the issue of multiple dating is the main reason why I wrote my book Paige’s Web. To show that a woman can date multiple men without having sex and she is not a HO. She has options until she decides to make a committment.
April 21st, 2008 at 12:40 pm
no they are not but to some males they are
April 21st, 2008 at 12:54 pm
@Antidater: Naw man … your still a ho. Its just not as bad.
@ Sheila: I don’t think a woman who dates like a man and doesn’t sleep with people is a ho. You have to be sleeping around to be a ho … end of story. But I do think just the fact that for most men to be a ho, they actually have to work for it. A woman gets offered d*ck 50-60 times a day everytime a guy says hi to her … for a man … if you get 2 offers in a day … thats impressive! That extra effort is one (but not the only) of the key differing factors in a man ho and a ho.
@RawDawg: Yeah … the simps.
April 21st, 2008 at 1:49 pm
“Play to Win” is a part of the lottery’s slogan. Its a law of averages it works for investing, looking for and buying a house, finding the cutest pair of shoes, etc, so why wouldn’t it work with finding someone to settle down with. It makes perfect sense to me, if not more for dating.
April 21st, 2008 at 2:05 pm
@CBG: The “law of averages” is a psuedo-law (I prefer the term: mean reversion). The House always wins.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:15 pm
@Comeback: Play to win. Lottery and Dating. Sad to say … but thats a very warped outlook on love & dating … and this is coming from a guy.
@Anti: You can beat the system. But I agree … you can’t just hedge all your bets and expect to win.
April 21st, 2008 at 5:12 pm
@Comeback: Play to win. Lottery and Dating. Sad to say … but thats a very warped outlook on love & dating … and this is coming from a guy.
What the hell are you talking about. You have over simplified ONCE AGAIN. The point is similiar to dollar cost averaging. MEANING (read very carefully) its all a numbers game. Sometimes you win BIG and other times you lose BIG, but your gains OVER time should make up for your losses. If out of all I said, the lottery point bugs you, then lets just look at it from an investment standpoint. DAMN. Same general rule applies.
April 21st, 2008 at 5:14 pm
@SBM: Right…sometimes you just have to go “all in”.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:51 pm
are we talking about money, investing, lottery or hoes???? Im confused….
Seriously I think men are starting to get there feelings hurt when they realize two can play at that game. Sure it doesn’t sound as liberating as it would coming from a males perspective but in a womans world its the new in thing to do, Now I dunno about “sleeping around” so much being a hoe but I mean sex without feelings is whats hot right nah u can have 5 dudes on roll call sleep with 1 maybe 2 and let the rest simp you is she then still a hoe??? or a player?
April 21st, 2008 at 8:44 pm
did someone call for a simp?! Im here!
April 21st, 2008 at 10:44 pm
lol hasani are you a real life simp? or was that a joke, cuz i could use an extra simp on my team for back-up then my fav five will be complete!! muwahahaaaaaa
April 22nd, 2008 at 12:04 am
Im actually a real life simp this is why I need to converse with my brothers in arms on this message board! workin my way past it. the girl I am a simp for dumped me this weekend by the way SBM. you told me to dump her, I said NO, and she gave me the “its not you… its me” line then asked could I still be her strong shoulder. Now 6 months, I havent gotten past 1st base I pay for EVERY dinner , lounge and club we go to…. yeah SHES a player. cuz i am very interested.. yes still….. shes high quality sista.
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:09 am
@ SBM I love this post!! I preach the same thing to women I know that say this bullish! You are NEVER a player if you are giving up the goods. As for men being players, if they are tricking(spending money) on these women then they aren’t players either.
Recently, I had a guy who fell along these lines. ‘Your guys get mad and upset at you.’ Another guy explained to me that since he had been around for 5+ months, that he had to right to be upset. However this guy always was crying about me coming to his house to hang out, especially after 10pm during the week.( As though I am not busy). So he snapped, I deleted his number and so ends the story. I might post the actual story on your ‘need advice’ section and see what your response is. That will be a great read!
Anyway I like this post and I think you are accurate. Women don’t give up the ‘cookie’ and men don’t spend cash and you might fall in the player group, if you have a winning team.
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:06 am
wait.. shouldnt we be telling everyone to eb nice to eachother insted of heartless and self centered? why are all of you sounding like your from NYC/North jerz insted of me?
We should all be NICE to eachother….. but burst the bubble of chicks who want to THINK they are playettes.
Ms Dev. post the story post the story. that way we have proof of how sinister the black woman is now-a-days and its no longer us men… add logs to my pyre please oh please
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:06 am
Hasani, sorry you got dumped first, but move on…find someone else…she’s not the one…don’t allow her to continue to “simp” you.
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:22 am
@Comeback: Investment, lottery, whatever … still seems warped to me. Generally when people talk about love being a numbers game they refer to hitting on everything that breathes, and assuming that at some point something will work out. In your case, it seems like it would manifest itself in a lack of managomy and always having “options”.
@Anti: Its funny that we as the guys are saying this … at least it is to me.
@Mikki: Almost no guy is really catching feelings when you “f*ck him and leave him”. Even if he really liked you, he’ll probably say to his friends “at least I got the p*ssy” and shrug his shoulders. Its damn near impossible ot hurt us by giving us sex … but keep trying … maybe you’ll be the one.
@Hasani: You have got to stop being happy to be a simp. Its like being a crack addict and being proud of it … actually … I think the crack addict might have it better off.
@Ms. Devereaux: Thank you for understanding the game. Its sounds like you have validly earned the title in your own right, but I could gather that from a couple of your posts. The simp who thinks he is a playa is a whole nother beast in of itself.
@Sheila: I completely agree. No one should be anyone’s simp … there is someone out there who will actually like you and want to be with you.
April 23rd, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Im not happy bein a simp…. dont get it twisted little brotha. Im just a realist and have just realized what i am and the situation i was in and usually am in. But like i said before in the “say goodbye to mr nice guy” post, I am slowly being corrupted and turning to the dark side. the longer i am out here the more and more I see bein a bad guy is more effective and the more I am seeing… hey wait, I can date you not call you and also go out and date and sleep with these two other chicks …… because I CAN. one extreme to the next, simp to pimp. my arch enemy will and is the female playette. (which are rare in the 30’s anyway)
July 21st, 2008 at 12:41 am
Where the hell was I when this post hit the presses…would have saved a lot of arguments from happening.