All she needs … Two Things!
Posted by: SBM in Sex, tags: cut buddy, dumb girls, no good men, SexI was talking with a friend and she told me something very interesting. Something that was so interesting I figured I would share it with you all … my family.
She decided to explain to me the two things that women need. I asked “only two things … you gotta be kidding me”. She admitted “I can’t speak for everybody … but it only takes two things for a man to keep me happy”. My interest had been piqued at this point and I lean into the phone. I mutter “so tell me … what are the two things to keep a woman happy”. I can almost hear her lean in to whisper this answer to me … I guess she didn’t want the world overhearing me. Mouth watering, possibilities racing through my mind, I await as she opens her mouth. I hear:
“Good sex and head”
I wanted to hang up the phone.
Thats what I was waiting for? Thats the “secret” to keeping a woman happy? I felt bamboozled!
So … being the argumentative asshole that I am, I quickly challenge this statement and poke holes in her “theory”. “So”, I say, “good dick and good head. Really? Thats it”
“Yes. But I will admit … its got to be really good”
“What about if he doesn’t talk? I mean he is emotionally distant, doesn’t ask you ‘how was your day?’, doesn’t care how your feeling, etc.”
“Who cares? We’re just having sex”
Ok … so now I’m starting to think. Maybe this chic is talking about some other stuff. “So … your husband doesn’t need to talk to you? You’re cool with that?”
“Husband. Who said anything about my husband”
“What are you talking about then?”
“I don’t know” She replies kind of blankly.
“All you did was define the requirements for a cut buddy”
This is why girls are dumb and rocks should be thrown at them (no offense to my friend of course).
How long can a guy who really is no good (I mean no job, borrows money, looks at other women, lives at home, and plays xbox 360 all day) stay in your “good graces” if he is providing nothing more than toe curling sex and award winning cunnilingus? I would ask the same question for the guys … but damnit if we don’t all know the answer to that!
June 11th, 2008 at 6:55 am
precived power is what they need. its not that they are getting great sex from joe thug and shareef hood and jay player.
I mean.. seriously. do you actually think joe thug is eatin pussy?! hell no. joe thug dosent care about her and slams into the pussy like it was a side piece… because to him it IS a side piece.
the power or security thing is what they are lookin for, it turns them on. you cant pound them out and keep them…lol.
There is a lady I totally decimated in bed and she still gave me the “you cant support the liftstyle I deserve” and “your too nice to string along” line.
i dunno, I wanna see what the women say but from this guy… its wayy off.
June 11th, 2008 at 7:36 am
I DISAGREE with your lady friend…maybe she was just hinting to you that all she wants from YOU is good sex & head. Women in general (especially myself) require a bit more than simple great sex and a tongue on our clit giving us the ultimate pleasure. Hell, life requires more…so why would a relationship be any different?
As for girls being dumb and should have rocks thrown at them….you might be right. That’s why you shouldn’t be messing “girls” and only messing with “WOMEN”. Men are such generalist. Geez.
HNIC - perceived (is how I think you meant to spell it) power is NOT all we need either. Sorry to break it to you.
It is too early in the morning for these battles to start! lol.
June 11th, 2008 at 7:43 am
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT. thats why the majority of you always chase men who dont want you?
thats why I have a core group of 4 friends who are “nice guys” and we are single but our one buddy who is ugly and an absolute whore comes home with women every other weekend?? Preceived power and liking what you cant have… and “the chase”/”the hunt”…. its all the same thing. that is like you guys cryptonite.
someone tell me black women in general dont have a weakness for power/money im gonna point you to half the post on this board to tell you otherwise. sistas could care less about how its goin down wit the dick game.
June 11th, 2008 at 7:44 am
You bet not throw a rock at me, mystery girl has a gun and last time I checked she wasn’t afraid to use it.
haven’t yall listen to the beyonce song “let me be your suga momma”??? Dude is layin it down there for she takes care of him. The rule doesn’t apply if you’re bad at sex period. I personally plan on becoming a millionaire and if so why do I need you to support me and pay my bills, hell I don’t even need that now or desire for a man to “take care of me”. I don’t expect all the females to agree with me on this I’m 25 I could be way off base, but I once did some retarded things for a dude that put it down for me each and every time, and the only reason he isn’t here today is because he didn’t put it down enough. (cut buddies aren’t consistent) which is why I didn’t say that out right. I got sheqanda that use to be Richard (now gay) that gives me advice on shoes, I got the sperm bank to make a baby, my best friend to listen to me whine about issues at my empire, molly maid to clean my house and ricko to cook, and ray to clean the pool. Why do I need you seriously??? Hasani I think ole girl was lying to you, If you so called date all these successful females why in the world would she ask you to provide for her????
Don’t hate because your mad your being now used as just a sex toy.
June 11th, 2008 at 8:00 am
from my experience… “why would i want your money if I have my own” dosent apply to the american born black women I have dated. the adage is that they can always have more. if she makes 80k she wants a guy who makes as much more than her as her dad made than her mom. as a woman told me last week straight to my face “I can be broke by myself” (said by a woman making over 70k by the way)
Mikki, I dont consiter the women I have dated successful. I separate success from pedigrees. a single woman who is 34 has her own condo, a lex, prada wallet and gucci sunglasses is concitered a failure in my eyes. the women I have been dating are all different types. and one thing they all have had in common, they all have a weakness for power/money and perceived comfort .
oh and yeah I dont like being used as a sex toy. which is why I am trying to avoid dates with white women. I still take dates from anyone but I dont seek hard since i have pretty much been used as a sex toy as of late and am not down with that.
June 11th, 2008 at 8:13 am
I feel you Hasani, it must be a black America thing, but I know a lot of females who make 70k who also have 70k in debt and if they quit there job today wouldn’t have two pennies to rub together. But If I am a woman of absolute true wealth then the statement has to hold true. Most women are broke as hell acting like they have money when they don’t. I don’t believe one man fits into every mold I request, yall spit at that idea so If I can pay somebody for the services I require on a daily basis, there isn’t a true need to keep a man around other than for sex, and if he wants to put it down each and every time, hell I will pay you!! I realize its borderline prostitution for a male and yall don’t want to be that.
June 11th, 2008 at 9:41 am
women still ARE borderline prostitution. I have yet to hear any of you claim you want a broke happy guy who treats you nice and hasa great smile.
job, money, car, and “education” all = money and thats pretty much what most of you ask for in your cries for men.
June 11th, 2008 at 9:47 am
And the code cracker award goes to….drum roll….Ms. Freckles. Married women I guess are the new cocaine sike. I think Married people period are everyone’s right of passage (that probably would have been a better post).
anyway….Hasani…Hasani I totally disagree. But I can’t play with yall like I used to, cause I got big girl work to do, which begs the question that after weeks and weeks of this back and forth PARTICULARLY to Hasani, you always talking about money. Yes money is nice, in fact its a comfort to know you can make it (and save a little too go…. AXSYS which is up more than 25% in the last two months but my azz dumped it at 15%)…anyway you have ALOT of time to spend here and kick the billyboweavel, that time could be spent in making some money. The problem is you are resentful that there are enterprising women (who are not broke by any stretch of the imagination) who have momentarily made you feel good about your boy toy status. But you want more ALL around. And this is life, you got to be able to bring more than your boy scout badge if you are pursuing and attracting women in the six figures. Thats just reality dear. You don’t have to be a boardroom type dude, but you better be cooking up some profitable internet business to keep that kind of woman’s crock pot hot.
Lastly that is just the entry fee…after that everything else is negotiable.
June 11th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Your friend should have just said that those are HER two things because it takes more than good sex to keep the average woman happy. Now if the man is just a booty call or cut buddy then yes, that’s a requirement else what is he good for–you find another booty call/cut buddy.
A woman who is ready for a mature relationship requires so much more.
June 11th, 2008 at 9:55 am
Okay so the chic in question is the reason we can’t seem to get ahead with the fellas(no pun intended). It was a dumb statement probably intended to seduce you, which ultimately failed. I don’t have a long drawn out thought about your question. I kind of agree with Hasani on this one, most women:black, white, asian and hispanic want more than what we have and we want for our men to provide it. It’s almost like we want the chilvary of the 50’s with the perks of the new millenium.
I personally wouldn’t be satisfied with good head and dick for longer than a few weeks, then again a man couldn’t even get that far with me without the conversation and caring first. So if for some reason after the sex the feelings subsided, then so will I.
June 11th, 2008 at 10:15 am
@Comeback: I didn’t even see your post until now and I have to agree with you as well. Stop complaining and step your game up…it’s as simple as that.
June 11th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Hasani again if I was rich, it wouldn’t matter if you had a job, or car, or an education, I don’t need you to speak and eat my cookie!! If I want to have a conversation with intelligent life I would hit up my local NESBE chapter or NAACP association, my point is I can fulfill myself with all other aspects of life when I have money. If I am broke 9 times outta 10 I am going to rely on you for more than just the sexual aspect of our relationship I am not talking about the average female, hell im average and I don’t have shit, but it wont be forever, and once I get to where I need to be financially I will become a suga momma pay for good sex and pay for 10 other people to do all my work for me.
Lets hear what others have to say
I am the girl in question yall better stop hating!!! sike say what yall want I am not mad you guys are all brain washed lol
June 11th, 2008 at 10:24 am
and yes i secretly want to seduce SBM
BAWAHHHHAA!!
June 11th, 2008 at 10:34 am
well so much for that being a secret…lol…sbm the official blogpimp of 2k8!!
June 11th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Those two things only make a woman complacent.
June 11th, 2008 at 10:44 am
“well so much for that being a secret…lol…sbm the official blogpimp of 2k8!!”
get um how you can, I’m not mad….just surprised. Its like Desmond Tutu going to a strip club. Guess its those damn blog goggles. “People are people all over the world” LOL who sang that song.
June 11th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I’m actually learning ALOT about people who I pegged one way…and I was WRONG all the way around for better and for worse….
those are my closing remarks.
June 11th, 2008 at 10:46 am
lol Teacia
all im saying is if i had the world at my finger tips, didnt need or want for any thing financially (seriously) what would be the point of having a man for other than sex?? Good sex I mean.
If yall can answer me that question I would shut up about it, i really was not trying to be funny I was dead serious and only serious because i am basing it off my past sexual encounters with men. The ones that really put it down my dying wish was only that i could have it more than once or twice a month. I didn’t have any other wishes for old boy cuz everything else i was doing on my own.
I am young maybe im misquided but yall sistas should be here to help me right?
June 11th, 2008 at 10:47 am
misguided**
June 11th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Depeche Mode..answered my own damn question.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Xf9_9ZwqNI
June 11th, 2008 at 11:06 am
@Comeback: I love you much gurl but you are a damn fool…lol…one time for being random this morning…lol.
@Mikki: Miss lady everything you speak has a lot to do with a lack of maturity…not trying to upset you or offend you but really, men being used as a means for sexual gratification is not enough to make the world go around, despite what they may think about the capabilities of their johnsons. Yes, as you get older and experience more that life has to offer including the struggles and the triumphs you will see that having a partner is more important that having an on demand dick. You know those days when you get home from work just drained mentally and emotionally, there’s nothing like a good man to just hug you…i’m talking just hold you tight and suck all of the negative energy out of you and just fill you up with love girl…man it’s a beautiful thing. Have you ever hugged someone and they didn’t let go first? Ok, so I’m getting all love jones on yall…my point, men bring more to a relationship than money and sex.
But you won’t understand this until you fully experience it.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Nope Teacia I am not mad girlfriend trust me, and you might be right it very well could be lack of maturity. But when you deal with constant bs all day every day from men people at work ect… I feel like who needs em??? I have gotten far less hugs than I have gotten into arguments about dumb ish, about where you are at 10pm or why you didn’t send me chocolates on valentines day or why your momma don’t like me and the list goes on. Right now all that is not worth going through the time and effort it takes to be happy with a man. All im saying is that if I was rich (which yall keep leaving out) I would find other ways to make myself happy. If we all had the happy love jones type stories to share we all would not be here now would we???
June 11th, 2008 at 11:16 am
***putting my blog goggles back on*** so wait Mikki, you are the mystery girl in question????? You did seem Really super attached to the answer and to it all working out for your “friend” with all the excitement you had perculating….I would go with Teacia’s above comments…because if I take my blog goggles off and write what I really feel about this (read VSB for better clarification) it might be bad..umm…not good.
so go with Teacia she had a very nice and objective response. Sometimes we can’t handle straight no chaser. Teacia gave you a vodka with equal amounts of tonic.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I can take what ever yall so call dishing out I am not 12. The subject was meant to be lighthearted and funny but since yall want to get all deep with it why stop now.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:31 am
mm Im not resentfulof the enterprising black woman… i pity her because she has ost her foundation of what once made our culture unique and strong.
As I say this… you are typing to me “you ucoulda been out makin money” fuck money. Black people dont need more money, we need to be happy with eachother…. or just happy period. I could say the inverse to you. work on building a home MORE than building a career… thats the reason why you work. yall got shit so twisted and it comes out in every post you make.
Home >career
Love >> Money
dem mexicans are broke as fuck laughing at yo ass because 6 of them are all living in a 2 bedroom house.. all in love and happy togethr working and helpin eachother to make a better life for themselves and their children. do you ever see any depressed mexicans? they poor as hell. you think Im poor? Im not the one makin 5 an hour. I also dont see any 26 year old singl mexican women… much less be mutha fuckin 33 and single. I dont see any mexican women so bitter and so obsessed with materialistic things that she drives her man away and is then a single mother of 2…. actually I dont know any mexican single mothers.
so yeah… talk all that shit again about money and how its required to make your life viable, and I will keep pointing you to the barrios of new brunswick and princeton.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Oh shit now, she wants it raw…I can’t even do it to you Mikki. I’ll let Comeback handle that but I will say this, it shows a lack of self worth for your body to think that all a man can do for is sexually please you. Don’t you know that when you have sex with a man you’re giving him a piece of your soul good or bad. Yeah I know this sounds ridiculous but think about every hit em and quit em job, how did you feel afterwards, even if it was mutual…like a piece of you was missing. If not, then we have deep issues to work on.
Now to focus on the men you deal with issue, stop attracting that energy to yourself…shit start smiling and being nice to them inspite of their bullshit and watch it turn around. Girl you need a Hasani in your life…just not our Hasani…the good lord isn’t done with him yet…lol. Oh and stop questioning these negroes, let a man know what you expect from him off jump and if he does’t provide move on to someone who will because you are worth chocolate on Valentine’s day(if that’s ur thing), you shouldn’t have to worry about where a man is at late at night, these shouldn’t be your issues. But you get back what you put out…only think positive shit…like I will be respected, I do deserve more than a piece of dick(lol…i know i get a little grimey at times)…but you get my point girl. You got a little pinned up resentment in you as well…let go and let love.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:39 am
I agree with you hasani money shouldn’t be the basis, but I rarely hear from men saying I love you lets build together wealth family and happiness. All I hear is I gotta get my money this is coming from men!! one guy even told me he didn’t have time to date because he was to focused on making money!!! So all im sayin is why Cant I be about mine? In a perfect world yes i would love to have hugs and kisses and all the lovey dovey stuff but im outta hope here. I am not attempting to role reverse I am attempting to not settle for whats been given to me by a man. I would love to think i can do 10 times better with a man than without but at the rate im going no men want to join me in my quest they just want to worry about self. So when im rich I am not going to wanna hear all your phsyco babble lets get married ish, because you shoulda been saying that when i didnt have a dime to my name.
just answer the freakin question damn!
June 11th, 2008 at 11:41 am
***blog goggles off***
“I can take what ever yall so call dishing out”
please check the tape, because you were VERY invested in a positive outcome. There was nothing lighthearted and funny about your response. Its like trying to build a house on quick sand, the foundation is based on trickery. You can’t trick a man into wanting to be with you. If he said no on the phone 12 times, no on the email 16 times, why do you need to impersonate someone to get the answer you are looking for. No is No.
No is no on the phone
No is no in an email
AND MAYBE will be HELL FUYK NO when you pretend to be someone YOU ARE NOT trying to get a yes.
Now re-read Teacia’s response …start at maturity…
have a nice day
***blog goggles back on***
June 11th, 2008 at 11:41 am
people are so damn judgemental that it makes me sick to my stomach if everybody here was a freakin will and jada I would not be saying shit!! keep it real folks keep it real nah.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:42 am
<<<> - Teacia
How can you say that today to a woman.. but most days your word is “I have men throw themselves at my feet” as a validation of how god your life is??
how are you people who are perennially single speak of how good it is to have a man “hold you?”
thers just to many contradictions…. nt just in T but in all yall. (cept comeback and miss Dev who usually has the same statement)
oh and if you women had money you would still be single.
Why? Well im not sure why, Im still tryin to figure that out. but the majority of the women I have dated are quite capeable. but are still single. most just want to live the sex in the city lifstyle and not have anyone tell them what to do. ven mor are waiting on a “mr biggs” type man to come sweep them off their feet. Miss may is guilty of that. Here you have a model and a phd who ends a 6 month relationship because she feels there shoud be some overwhelming force and charm to swep her off her feet in utter romance. Life isnt an E ynn harris book! but most women with money will put up a wall and wait for a title wave of a man insted of just playingg in the ocean and finding a good current.
the 1980’s black woman was thinner, happier, and married twice as much …. what happened?
June 11th, 2008 at 11:44 am
COMEBACK WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!!
June 11th, 2008 at 11:46 am
@Hasani: who would want to be mexican, have you witnessed their living conditions…well i have, i had a family of damn near 10 living above me while I was in Tampa…the kids had nothing and I mean nothing. When I moved in I was going through things I didn’t need for my daughter and had it sitting on the porch when the kids upstairs asked if they could have it. My daughter had an abundance of crap and I felt bad about their situation. When I moved, I gave their family my bedroom set b/c the kids had nothing to sleep on…but yes they had each other.
If that’s what we should be striving for then I gladly will pass my single mother ass on.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:49 am
I have plenty self worth to those who think I don’t which is reason I am single because id rather be that than to get treated poorly. I put out plently positive energy so thats not my issue.
The question was if was rich would I worry so much about finding a man to make me happy??
my answer no!
point blank
I always take every thing here with a gain of damn salt because if everybody was so right on we would not all be so damn single. I am testing my own theory and yall should do what works for you.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:50 am
“Lets hear what others have to say
I am the girl in question yall better stop hating!!! sike say what yall want I am not mad you guys are all brain washed ”
—————
@ Mikki did you write the letter a few days ago or not ? the above suggests you did.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:51 am
lol…Mikki I’m just taking what you give me…you were the one saying that you experience more headache than happiness…just pointing that out.
And to answer your question, yes you would worry but you’re worry would be a different one. You would wonder who actually loved you for you and would they still cherish you without the money…with money comes more problems…the shit doesn’t go away, it compounds. Money can’t buy you love and happiness and dick won’t be enough to get your rich behind through the day.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:52 am
@Comeback: I think she was a referring to the girl in question from today’s post.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Mikki. the black MAN wants a family. The kids and idiots are tryin to make money to appease the black women… not themselves. Just look at us decent black men lilke myself.. All they want is to be happy, get a normal corporate job have our 1.5 kids and a puppy in a townhouse in th suurbs… drive our 2 honda civics and cal it a day.
All the young security guards at my job are costantly talkin about how they otta make more $$ because their main goal is to impress young black women. they arent workin and having a side hustle to invest in ERTS or VMware stock. They all trying to go to the auction on sunday and buy a repossessed lexus or acura legend, get their gold chains and white t shirts…. that is to impress YOU girls because you require so much and are so materialistic and money grubbing (even when you have your own)
trust me if any of you gals met a man who seriously was poor.. drove a 82 buick, no bling…. yet was sweet, good looking, principled and decent man… who was just wanting to care for you and treat you right…. you would run the fucking other way…..
aint that right comeback.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Well the same applies the girl in question yesterday and the day before. LOL
Its all (blog goggles on) …distasteful. I was happy just thinking happy thoughts.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Comeback are you totally lost?? that was my best friend!!! not me!!!!
Teacia, I have worked damn hard not to depend on a man and I do it now and I will still do it when I have more money. I was simply stating that men cause more headache now days again pointing out the fact that if they didnt we wouldnt all be talking so much. I am all for cumbayha love and such. but dont sit here and lie to my face saying your life is rosey peaches and cream when it comes to dealing with men. if so just take one of those engagements and run with it then give me advice on how to be married.
I love myself more than and man right now ever could. At the point when I have money I would not focus on getting a man I would focus on bettering my quaility of life, ie giving, helping others, and making my contribution to my community which is what i do now, just on a little less income. I haven’t heard men say thanks for contributing to society all i hear is what can you do for me? and for that I dont need em!!!
wooosahhhhh
June 11th, 2008 at 11:59 am
lmao Hasani I would not run!!! I swear!!!!!!!!
June 11th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
“How can you say that today to a woman.. but most days your word is “I have men throw themselves at my feet” as a validation of how god your life is??”
That is not my rhetoric Hasani…I do have men throwing themselves at my feet, but I also understand the importance of having a special someone in my life…I’m no fool. My life is great, one of these guys is what the lord has planned for me and I’m embracing those possibilities full throttle.
“how are you people who are perennially single speak of how good it is to have a man “hold you?”
And I haven’t always been single…just as you haven’t. And I’ve been hugged, held and loved unconditionally…so
I know what it feels like. And my quest is the regain that feeling for the rest of my days on this here earth..and not even you can stop me from that one.
@Mikki: I knew you were going to get offended, which is why I tried to give it to you lightly, you can’t ask for something and then get mad b/c people are upfront with you about their perception, perception that is only founded on what you share. If you feel you are being misjudged, give us more to work with…we’re only calling it how we see it…I thought that was the purpose of this here interaction.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
**blog goggles off**
Hasani stop barking up trees you can’t climb and then getting mad at the damn tree. First of all you and someone else here live in geoghraphically sucky cities for what you are trying to accomplish switch places for real…I say one of yall move to an industrial city (whose glory days are long over)…the other move to the big lights of the shiny red apple. NYC metro is the mecca for people with BIG dreams. Most people who make it there (men/women) have alpha personalities..you’re attracted Hasani to it, but repulsed just the same.
I think you need to decide what you want and what you are willing to negotiate. And stop going to hardware store for milk.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
“Comeback are you totally lost?? that was my best friend!!! not me!!!!”
same difference …you’re the co-consirator. now re-read Treacia once more…start at maturity…
June 11th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Maturity is not my issue thanks I again can’t buy what you guys are selling being single yourself. I just want to try it my way and see what happens.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
@Mikki: no peaches and cream here, i get my fair share of bullshit also, but i don’t indulge in it. there are too many hasani’s out there to allow men to get my spirits down. i’m being real, you only get a few chances to guide me to an exit before i gladly oblige, but i still do not have such a negative outlook on men and relationships.
my homegirl and i were discussing yesterday writing a book on gender rivalry, it’s based on the chicken or the egg analogy…what came first, women diminishing the importance of men or men disrespecting the ambition of women….either way it doesn’t matter…it won’t change until we all accept a stake in the societal decline of gender relations and do something to fix it…who cares who started it, the shit is here, it’s staring us in the face and it ain’t going nowhere until we do something about it.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
“Maturity is not my issue thanks I again can’t buy what you guys are selling being single yourself. I just want to try it my way and see what happens.”
***blog goggles on***
yes dear perhaps you are right…I’m alone here. My phone never rings. I never go out. I’ve never been in a relationship. No one has EVER wanted to marry me. I’ve never met any man’s mother, father sister or brother. I just sit here and email men for my friends and mass mail the others…I’ll just go shoot myself now.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Ok Teacia,
I think what SBM left out was that I was speaking in ref to having a lot of money as a single woman not (pennies). not to go into detail about who diminished what and such and such.
I am single right now, and I don’t look to be financially happy when it comes to being with a man. I am looking for time spent with me and non of them can provide me with time because they are all so busy making the paper. So what i said was If I had a ton of money in the bank. I wouldnt be so pressed to worry about why I can’t get someone to spend time with me. i would simply hop on a jet plan and take my ass to mexico and sip on a pina colada and get my feet and back rubbed by some mexican lady and call it a day. Its that gratifying ?? hell yes!!! and i dont care who you are no man can bring me such gratification on a regular basis like that. and when i want sex i just call joe and he comes and leaves like i asked him to. I am not being negative im just stating what i would do if my singleness lingered on into my 30+
June 11th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
lmao comeback please dont do that
June 11th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I agree Teacia.
blog goggles off*** I think women have their priorities all fyked up. I ONCE did. A man trumped EVERY hobby I ever had. Every man I ever became involved with. I’m not perfect. And when I start to attract men I don’t want. I take a long look at myself.
Am I the woman I want to date. Do I have relevant conversation that makes me interesting not just to a man but to other women? Am I a likeable person? Am I still playing stupid azz highschool games? Am I emotionally mature? Do I have a good or atoned for relationship with my father? Are my relationships with other people (men/women) contain healthy boundaries?… these are all the things I’ve worked on or am working on…
but I guess others want a man from the relationship fairy…she will find (because some of us can NOT handle the truth) that if you didn’t get it the right way…its not right. Even if it looks good on the outside. And trust Will and Jada are NOT quite the gold standard from a few inside people I know.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Mikki..it’s not enough sweetie…money just isn’t enough…sex just isn’t enough. There’s nothing more gratifying than having someone to spend time with…you here rich people saying it all the time. Having some to curl up on the couch with and watch a movie with in your mansian out in San Bernandino, or your swanky loft in NY, or your villa in Milan…or wherever else you choose to enjoy those riches is what it all it boils down.
I do have a thought for you, have you ever tried dating someone older, someone who’s not so caught up in the here and now, gotta get money and get it fast mentality…it may make a difference.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
comeback BAAWWWWAHAHAHHAA
That was my point comeback I stopped focusing on what a man could do for me and I am doing well because of it. I didn’t wait til 30 im doing it now!
June 11th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
…blog goggles on…put a little sugar in that vodka girl
June 11th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
“comeback BAAWWWWAHAHAHHAA”
Thats Good…I who turned 33 in April…should be your cautionary tale. You’re doing a most excellent job from what I can tell…you know every damn thing…so why are we even having this convo…
tootles
June 11th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
is it my bad I hang around men who want to be successful financially??? Teacia most of the men I am speaking of are older. But all this was besides the point. I didn’t post the topic to ask where do i find a man that wants to settle down. I posted to say who gives a flippin flop!!
June 11th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
besides rich people got the game twisted anyways if they are waiting for a man to sweep them off they feet and draw bubble baths. What I plan to do is find other things that make me happy outside of just spending money like water. I want to give, and involve myself in the community, help kids, help families. thats what makes me feel good if in fact im still single at that time.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
I guess…but I still stick with my original statement…dick isn’t a substitute for happiness just b/c you have money.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
mikki,,,, every nigga wants money. THe problem is you should be looking for men
comeback: though I miss the sound of your voice. u need to get back to work. if you werent miss successful corporate type then you may actually have to slum and take dates from the Hasanis of the world
Change city’s? why do you think a change of cities is going to make the black women change priorities? notice none of you on this blog are in jersey/NYC yet all have pretty much the same thing in common when it comes to black men and romance?
so… can I call you this weekend?
June 11th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
HA HA HA….LMAO…Hasani I almost choked on my damn grapes after reading that…lol!!
June 11th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
dont worry sista Im a boyscout.. Im very skilld at giving mouth to mouth
June 11th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Hasani come again? what do you mean sr??
June 11th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
@ Hasani yes I do and I have TONS of it…its those damn blog goggles, I’m seeing nutcases I never saw before..its like watching a train wreck you can’t look away. Good God all mighty.
….and no you can’t.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I agree with Teacia Mikki - “men being used as a means for sexual gratification is not enough to make the world go around, despite what they may think about the capabilities of their johnsons. Yes, as you get older and experience more that life has to offer including the struggles and the triumphs you will see that having a partner is more important that having an on demand dick.”
Every woman have certain needs at certain stages of their lives. I would also like to add that sex is more gratifying in a committed loving relationship where the man is supplying other needs “outside” of the bedroom.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Shelia I know what sex is and can be, which is why i dont randomly have it and do not indulge myself in the at now. But later in life if im a millionaire and such, you want me to go without simply because i cant get a man to act right for 5 seconds is hawgwash!!!!! I am going to get mine and continue to do what i do. IF THATS THE CASE!!!
GOSH PEOPLE READ UP!!!
June 11th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
HNIC — Dude, you sound really bitter. Don’t go swinging bats (penises) for the other team (men) out of your anger and disdain for WOMEN. lol.
Ok, I have to do some work. I may stop in later to entertain the nonsense some more. Later Peeps!
June 11th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
comeback: what are blog gogglles? I am lost and need an intelligent sista to learn me… but since “all my doctors” are in their labs or on the floor…. can i get you to explain it to me?
ok so I cant call you… but it please you tohear a deep warm voice to talk to you about ife love and your daily grind.. just a little bit to cumfort and warm your spirit before you drift off to sleep happy, with the grin of grins on your face…
ya I can make that happen
June 11th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
No disrespect meant by any means….but…
Reality says only a whore is happy off of good sex & great head ONLY.
Now a woman however…in general is happy and remains happy off of a “total package”. Now let’s be real - - - yes, we all love good sex and great head, but that’s not what’s going to keep a man in my life. He has to bring so much more to the table than simply sex.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Pure fuckery Hasani…oh my lawd you have me dying laughing over here and the goggles is her nice of way of conversing with the rest of us. When they are on she is objective and pleasant(i.e. me…lol), when they are off she is the Comeback that we’ve come to know and love.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
again my point was lost so i give up officially
June 11th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Damn Ms. Freckles just took her blog goggles off, crushed them and threw away the remains…lol.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Mikki, I can’t speak for the other women on the blog who are single, but I’m sure most of us are single by choice.
You made a statement that should occur whether you’re in or not in a relationship: “What I plan to do is find other things that make me happy outside of just spending money like water. I want to give, and involve myself in the community, help kids, help families. thats what makes me feel good if in fact im still single at that time.”
Do those things whether you’re rich or middle income; single or married. Being in a relationship or married shouldn’t stop you from pursuing things to make you happy.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I agree with Ms. Freckles…
@ Hasani
blog goggles were re-appropriated from VSB…its when you choose to see something BETTER …when in actuality its a little on the downtrodden, sad, desolate, pitiful side fill in all the adjs. here. Its a coping mechanism, when you want to believe in something that just aint there.
I write sometimes with my blog goggles cause I think it just feels better. After having my coffee who wants to hear…”hey your dumb as fyuk…why are you even taking up useful air space”…i think “let’s look at it from a more inward deeper perspective” reads better on the eyes.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Mikki we got the point, some just refused to entertain it b/c it doesn’t hold up…even with money, and i quote “only a whore is happy off of good sex & great head ONLY.”
June 11th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
“I write sometimes with my blog goggles cause I think it just feels better. After having my coffee who wants to hear…”hey your dumb as fyuk…why are you even taking up useful air space”…i think “let’s look at it from a more inward deeper perspective” reads better on the eyes.”
ROTFLMAO…yall are going to make me lose my damn job with all of these outbursts of laughter.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
But later in life if im a millionaire and such, you want me to go without simply because i cant get a man to act right for 5 seconds is hawgwash!!!!!
Mikki, of course that’s your perogative. No one is saying you have to go without. If you wanted to screw everyday then there are many men out there willing to oblige. As Teacia responded, I’m responding to what was posted in SBM’s original post and the average woman needs more than good sex from a man. You’ve made it clear, you’re not one of them. So get your groove on when you get rich.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Ms Freckles, I’m with you…give me the “total package.”
June 11th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Shelia your right which is what I do. My main focus doesn’t revolve around a man 100% never has never will. I am saying which so many of you seem to get lost in the fact that more of us worry about the “single label” because they think it defines who we are and what we plan to be in the future. I wouldnt give a flippin flop if im single 50 years from now. but if im single with 3 kids I might look at that issue a bit more closely as apposed to me being rich. because whether a woman wants to see it or not she is infact looking for a man to support her financially. My best friend said it, if she was rich she wouldnt even care if she had a man or not, but since we are out here on the grind 24-7 it would help that a man be near by to share my struggles.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
who said anything about being a whore bag?? All I said was I would worry less about being single, shit i worry now because instead of drowning my sorrows in lavish parties and trips to the beach, I drown them in chocolate cake cuz i cant afford a trip to cabo san luca. YET
June 11th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
*calling my rich friends to find out the truth*
oh wait i dont have any!!!
June 11th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
“i worry now because instead of drowning my sorrows in lavish parties and trips to the beach, I drown them in chocolate cake cuz i cant afford a trip to cabo san luca. YET”
…maybe a man is not your problem.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
or lack thee of
June 11th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
no comeback a man isnt my problem being broke is
June 11th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Lack of money isn’t your problem either
June 11th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
oh yea the hell it is!!
June 11th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
comeback if you told me right now you could get on a flight to some place far away (out the country) for a week or 2 with no repercussion or financial strain what so ever then i will listen to you from this point on.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
that would make me feel better right now sis im sorry to say
but i cant afford that luxury right now.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Mikki, the statement you made “more of us worry about the “single label” because they think it defines who we are and what we plan to be in the future.”
From my observation, the only people who are concerned about the “single label” are nosy folks who are trying to be in a single woman’s business. I don’t know anyone personally who is single that feels the way you described. If they do, they haven’t shared that information with me.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Well Shelia I may be a bit partial to the statement because I been watching families fall apart because of “perception” all in efforts to make people believe something is real when infact its not. Thats in my own family so just because your not seeing it or being told it doesn’t mean its not there.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Mikki…if money is your issue (like it is for 85% of the world right now with the economy being the way it is)…dick should be the last thing on your mind. It’s called part-time jobs on top of your full-time. It’s called making sacrafices and passing up that designer bag in a department store so you can have a Savings acct. It’s called prepare now so you wont suffer later. You don’t need a man for money. Hell, nowadays…SOME (not I) women don’t need a man for sex as long as you got new batteries. However, if you want something…NO ONE is going to hand it to you. Get out and get yours! Then take those lavish trips…
June 11th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Okay..after reading thru some of Mikki’s comments…I’m LOST. One minute you saying the thing YOU need from a man is great sex & head. Then browsing thru the comments it appears you would like a man to financially bail you out. Then I’m getting that you don’t revolve your life around a man, but the initial blog was a statement about all you need is great sex and head. Please clarify. Thanks.
June 11th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Mikki, there are those who may have that attitude and that’s so unfortunate. Hopefully folks will realize that a man nor woman should be the source of their happiness.
June 11th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Ms freckles I pray I didn’t say nothing about a man bailing me out if i did I would correct myself cuz thats the last thing i need. Initially i was making a joke about just needing a man for GOOD SEX AND HEAD provided I have managed to take care of my self in all other areas in my life financially and I was extremly well off. at this point I would be paying people to do things I don’t wanna do, ie cook, clean, rub my back all that fun stuff and the sperm bank incase i wanted to have a baby. basically I described myself as OPRAH. But God knows i dont want to be that damn loney but im saying money helps me if i am, along with good sex and head. It was all taken outta context if you ask me. but people take ish and run far with it. I didnt say I NEEDED ANYTHING.
I take am working on my financial life for the simple fact that I can’t depend on a man. Trust me baby I got it on lock with not 1 job but 3 in order to make that luxury trip and quit my job. Never did I say I can’t do it on my own cuz with or without a man I will be doing it. but my ass is far from rich and today i cant quit my job but you better believe one day in the near future I will.
June 11th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
@ Mikki
“comeback if you told me right now you could get on a flight to some place far away (out the country) for a week or 2 with no repercussion or financial strain what so ever then i will listen to you from this point on.”
I’ve done this twice in 5 years…what does this say to you??? It don’t say shit to me. Mexico and London all have internet. The later I actually went partially for work.
Ms. Freckles is alluding to a bigger issue. Your head is hard. You think you know EVERY damn thing. One minute you’ve got together, you’re working on you, you’re philanthropic, you’re feeding stray dogs…and the next you need a man BAD…its all so confusing. And if this is apart of your mental state…the only thing you’ll keep attracting is more fyking confusion.
I thought Dave Ramesy was your “get out of debt card” ? he’s got you living in a situation that you aren’t MENTALLY ready for or capable of. I never thought his preachings were ideal. They don’t make sense to me. Debt can to a certain extent can be leveraged for things that appreciate. To me its always been easier to bring in NEW money than try and scrimp on the same old I got coming in. Your priorities are more fyked up than fyk…I’m sorry…
June 11th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Okay…coming from someone who is 27 yrs young, have one full-time job, some college education but not my BBA yet (still in the works), a man (and he aint rich HNIC) that she respects and who respects her back, make a nice salary from working my ass off thru the corporate ladder since the age of 18. No kids, never married, humble and self-sufficient….
My $0.10 on your “situation/foolishness” Mikki is that you need to STOP being so damn angry @ men, life, societal standards, focused on money and every little thing else that means absolutely nothing when you’re dead and gone. If you had all the money in the world you would still have some shit going on in your life that would fuck with you on some level or another. The energy put out is what you will ultimately get back to you.
June 11th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Up your standards… and up the game these tired fools with penises approach you with!
June 11th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Ok comeback don’t bring DAVE in this, me and him are actually doing great, though I haven’t blogged about it that much so lets not go there please.
I didn’t say I needed a man, I said sex and head is ALL i need from a man. and twice in 5 years isn’t much.
I know I don’t know everything which is why I put the question out there. But I see judgement being passed and thats not what I came for, I came to get a straigth forward yes or no answer.
June 11th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Mikki the answer is NO
June 11th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Ms Freckles I am not mad at anything. Seriously It was a joke gone bad I didn’t mean for it to get so outta line as to who and what I am. I do A DAMN WONDERFUL job at supporting myself and giving back to my community even when I don’t have much to give. all this banter about what my standards are don’t have anything to do with anything. I love life and work hard to take care of me and a statement I made doesn’t speak for what I currently do, and you can ask all my friends that and they will tell you.
Bash mikki day is officially over dang!
June 11th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
***goggles back on***
dearest Mikki if you want an answer to be designed in a specific way, then perhaps perface your question with the way you want it answered. You need a bit of a reality check. But again you can’t handle the truth, even when people doctor up your alchohol with cherries, whip cream, bailys etc.
At this point I say stick to the friends that can tell you would like to hear, instead of really checking under the hood looking for disconnected wires and leaky valves.
in all honesty maybe you should talk to someone who is a little more equipped for some of this..and I’m being as serious and non-judgemental with all goggles on and tightly secured.
June 11th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
**stick to friends who can tell you what you want to hear*** that way you still end up knowing everything and feeling all the better about yourself.
June 11th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Mikki, I don’t think anyone has been bashing you but trying to offer other viewpoints to a situation that was brought to our attention via SBM’s blog post. I for one hate to see someone get abused or misused or be misinformed when they have options. Besides just because one person feels a certain way, it doesn’t mean someone else has to feel the same way–that’s why we’re all unique–thank God.
June 11th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Its a pointless battle.
having a man DOES define you…. having a career and moneey does not. wtf happened to the black females sense of morality and community? do you guys even hear the shit your saying before yu type it?
if your single and an adult your losing. if your in your 40 and havent raised a home… your a waste of earths time. god didnt put you here to serve yourself with gucci and corporate outings.
I keep checkin the blessed sacrements and still no sign of “minolo blaniks” on there anywhere.
you need to step your game up anyway. because the other races are still killin you in education and corporate america… where you claim to excel.. but the areas you 20 years ago had the nation on lock in ….Family friends and marriage…. your not only last in the nation… your last in the world.
June 11th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Right Shelia but It was in ref to something I said that was spoken in his words which i have spent all day trying to clerify and I am done with it.
seriously
June 11th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
@Mikki: Ok so I sat back to see what my sisters on the site had to say and this is what I see. Sister gurrrl you are in denial. First off I’m going to go backwards in