You don’t plan to crash your car … but you get insurance … right?!
You don’t plan to fall on your motorcycle … but you wear a helmet (at least I do) … right?
So why not get a prenup?
*Disclaimer*: Just for all you overly sensitive individuals reading (you know who you are) … that was a joke. A prenup is not just “marriage insurance”.
There has been a relatively recent groundswell movement in the push for prenuptial agreements. Kanye West made the phrase “We want prenup!” extremely popular with his radio hit “Golddigger”. While I have no stats to show if they have gained popularity over time (the resident “stat man” can do that for me), I think its a pretty safe assumption that they have.
I am taking this time to officially declare that I want … nay … DEMAND a prenuptial agreement from my future spose.
Oddly enough, this seems to have not gained a lot of ground with women. I am constantly faced with statements like:
“A prenup means your already thinking about divorce”
“I’m not marrying any man who would ask me to sign a prenup … its disrespectful”
“Any man who wants a prenup is secretly on the down low” (dumb broad)
And more stupid statements that would make anyone with half a brain give that “WTF” look.
So I’ve decided to outline just a few of the reasons why prenups are good, why women (or some of you soft men) shouldn’t fear them, and whatever tickles my fancy.
It’s not all about Money!
One common misconception is the soul purpose of a prenup is to divvy up assets in the case of a divorce and protect someone’s money. This isn’t the case. Prenups can and have included provisions such as how often sex occurs, is she going to swallow, will he ever cook, and does the cooch get eaten. Its a basic contract between two people. You can put in whatever craziness that you want.
It’s sad but true … but divorce happens
The divorce rate has been over 50% for awhile now. It was in college or high school when I first heard that “chilling” statistic. I doubt many of those people got married with plans to divorce the “love of their life”, but in the end, they got divorced. Suppose I get a promotion, work 60 hour weeks, and my wife decides to blow the gardner, the mailman, and that special kid in the neighborhood that just turned 18. I have to give her half of my stock options now! Shoot me!
It could help save your marriage
Since divorce has gotten so popular, I feel like people may be a little quicker to run to it as a crutch nowadays instead of putting in the work to actually fix the marriage. I don’t want the fact that you (or me) might be able to walk away with an easy million and receive checks every month for another $5000 for the rest of my/your life as incentive to leave. Now that money is out of the equation … you’ll actually show up for those marriage counseling meetings.
Punish those who need to be punished
I’m not … nor do I ever think I will be a fan of cheating. I’ve never been cheated on (that I know of) and I have never cheated on a significant other. I will definitely have a clause indicating you don’t get sh*t if you cheat. Get that new n*gga to pay for your car note.
I lose because you lied?
So … if the “love of your life” has lied to you about something big (she was born a man, he has 8 kids he forgot to mention, she/he is infertile … and lied about it) … then you could potentially still have to forfeit 50% of your holdings even though you were done wrong. That’s just not right.
Lets just keep it fair
Generally speaking, God forbid … but if divorce looks to be the best way to go … then it seems fair that you leave with what you came in with. There is no “break up court”. People have relationships that have lasted longer and meant more than most marriages, but their is no judge to give them a settlement. I’m all about fairness in life … same with my marriage.
I hope I was able to imbue you all with a little bit of knowledge and have turned you into a fellow support of the “I Want Prenup!” movement. Viva la prenup!
June 16th, 2008 at 7:21 am
I am going to start the day with happy thoughts.
I am going to agree with this post today.
whew that was hard…..
June 16th, 2008 at 7:22 am
What if the man made considerably less…I’d look at him like he had three eyeballs.
nonwithstanding…
I would sign the sh#$t BUT I’d have so many clauses and loopholes he’d be begging me to take some money by the time it ever saw day light in a courtroom. Why so harsh and bitter you ask (as you always do)? Well at face value, on some level I agree, a woman (or MAN) who only had the notion to get paid in our union should exit stage left with his samsonite. BUT marriage are partnerships on EVERY conceivable level.
What about women who support men through medical school. I thought about this many times. What happens when he gets a practice and midlife crisis. Not withstanding cheating there are other things that could make him unbearable. Hell HE could decide to go. Why does a prenup suppose the woman would bounce. Men sometimes leave. So what does a woman get who helped pay down his loans ? What does she get when he decides that he can’t afford a secy, an assistant, a cleaning lady, a nurse, an accounts recievable person. And she becomes all those things.
I tell you what she gets….she gets HALF of a 2 million dollar revenue generating practice, for all the years SHE helped him build it FOR FREE.
prenup clauses are for women who NEVER thought a man would leave, that a man would cheat, that he just doesn’t want to be married anymore.
Women have a right to be compensated for the undocumented work that they do as HELP MATES. We won’t even run the numbers on what a stay at home mother is worth on the street…its somwhere around 110k. Do the math. Do the math.
June 16th, 2008 at 7:33 am
I personally would never use a prenup and would never sign one. stubbern perhaps but its my morals.
with that said I would recomend most menespecialy black men… not sign a prenup either.
women have to have something to lose to keep them honest. they understand money too well. I see alot of situations where the woman ducks out and its usually because of $$$$ in some way shape or form. if she has nothing to lose…. that promotes her doing things more dangerous and outlandish.
think about it like this.. grandma loved grandpa! they really did love eachother. but one of the things that kept grandma from leaving grandpa was the fact that if she did anything stupid and lost the reltionship… we would be living back home with her parents and would prob never get married again. she would lose her entire way of life.
Hmmm should I go home tonight or should I hang out in the back of the club with my single friends?
I know the first thing many of you will say is how dare he invent artificial ways to keep us in relationships! but its removing temptation… not FORCEFULLY putting someone into a relationship. When we have nothing to lose we dont have a healthy respect for things… here let me put it in female terms. Yo man wants to go hang out with his ex babymama… you know.. dat bish that you hate more than life. Well since he and her are so kool and have so much history … he thinks it shouldnt be a problem if him and her go away (just the 3 of them) on vacation to disney world for a week. if your feelin like you have nothing to lose…. your response will prob lean more towards doin what da hell you want and not have a healthy respect or fear of losing anything.
I myself blame the rise on how much women make for the raise in divorce rate. I mean… the race with the highest divorce rate and the only race where the women make more than the men…… I dont need to be a math major to start to draw conclusions.
June 16th, 2008 at 7:46 am
“I personally would never use a prenup”
And for obvious Monetary reasons.
————
“women have to have something to lose to keep them honest”
bull crap….first of all I don;t know what numbers you looking at but divorces (with cause) are usually intiated on some level by MEN (he cheated or he wants out). The above statement on keeping them honest is WHY WOMEN STAY. But NOTHING will keep a man if he don’t want you. Take the rose colored glasses off. TAKE THEM OFF. And welcome to the 21st century.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:04 am
your living in the past comeback…. 1995 we walked out of relationships to try and stick out secrtary.. men arent cheating anymore on that level its more women now.
your the one living in the 20th century and in black romance novels and movies where the black men are no good.
The reason why you guys are single is the same reason why we have stoped cheating. ITS TOO MUCH EFFORT AND NOT WORTH IT. If I had the choice between staying home and waiting for tiffany to call while she is on her “business trip” to florida (intentional pause) and playing me some XBox and going to work the next day… or running around the streets tryin to poke some 20 year old white chick with a big booty…. guess which one I am going to choose? becky dosent have a chance in this situation.
Think about it… why would divorce rate go up but the amount of money WE make has stayed the same?!??!!?!?!?
In 2008 you turn down my requests for a date…. ya that wouldnt happen in 1985. in 1985 you would be making 20k and I as a man would somehow be making 55k. your livelyhood would be based on you staying. if you cant respect a date… how do you think your peers will respect a long term contract that dosent benefit “them” and the “do me” SITC lifestyle?
I dont have a single male friend who is over the age of 22 who is single because he left his woman. ALL of my male friends have been left by their woman, one is a widower and the rest are victims of cheating women. in a few of the cases it was them going out on dates with some guy who had more money and more mystery.
once again, scroll back in my post. I even say we (my friends and I) all have to pitch in and help out eachother with the kids since more than one of them are now single dads.
Perhaps this is just a north east thing? but more likely its a welcome to 2008 thing.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:07 am
oh, Zales is having a special.
we can do this next weekend if you want. since men cheat so much and all. lets put your 80k salary good looks and pedigree against my 31k and morals and see who cheats first.
first and only line in the prenup shal read he or she who files for divorce will forfeit their right to any assets.
you wear a size 6 ring right? your a princess cut type gal right?
June 16th, 2008 at 8:21 am
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOo @ Comeback & the “loop holes & clauses that he’d be beggin’ you to take the money”…that’s about how it would be for me as well!!!!!
June 16th, 2008 at 8:53 am
I’m a little on the fence with this one. If I married a man who was loaded I wouldn’t take offense to the prenup as long as it stated that earnings made during the marriage are considered community. What a man has before he meets me I should not be privy to taking…but once getting married, if i’m “succn, fuggn, and shutting the hell up”(shout out to mystery) then I deserve my half of said earnings made. Especially if I’m keeping his house in order and raising his kids. Besides, prenup or not there are provisions in the law that allow for mothers and spouses who have put in time and work to reap the benefits if a divorces occurs.
Now if he has nothing there is no need for a prenup, since we’ll be building our wealth together. And I have to be honest, as much fun as dating a millionaire(athlete in most cases) is, it comes with a headache that no amount of money can make better. For example, my homegirl was dating this dude, he bought her a Mercedes for Valentine’s Day but she lost 20 pounds in that relationship from stressing out all the time…and she was already small before the weight loss. Another homegirl had 2 miscarriages from her husband(another athlete) from always stressing out over chics and the nonsense. I have since sworn off men w/ excessive funds from my personal experience and those of people I know, it’s just not worth it these days. Give me an upper middle class hard working man anyday.
But if for some reason the lord sees fit to “bless” me with a mogul, then so be it…bring on the prenup.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:11 am
” For example, my homegirl was dating this dude, he bought her a Mercedes for Valentine’s Day but she lost 20 pounds in that relationship from stressing out all the time…and she was already small before the weight loss. Another homegirl had 2 miscarriages from her husband(another athlete) from always stressing out over chics and the nonsense. I have since sworn off men w/ excessive funds from my personal experience and those of people I know, it’s just not worth it these days. Give me an upper middle class hard working man anyday.”
So the only way in FL to marry someone “LOADED” is if he’s an athlete???? You have sworn off men with “excess funds” ???? how much in excess ?? just curious.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:14 am
^^that isn’t one of those short bus stupid questions btw…i just REALLY AM CURIOUS. what’s considerd excess.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:23 am
Hell yeah we want prenup. Fuck the bullshit
- http://www.anythingblack.net
June 16th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Florida is an athletic Mecca…Tampa being the Mecca of all Mecca’s…lol. Marrying an athlete isn’t the only way but it’s a sure fire way. We have 3 professional football teams(league minimum being 285K annually for a rookie) and 2 professional basketball teams(higher league minimum)…not to mention baseball(even higher league minimum), the Yankees have their training down here and then we have the Marlins, and 3 minor league baseball teams. Also this is Florida and golf is a HUGE deal down here, we have a PGA golf course in 4 cities including Jax. We used to have NFL Europe training camp down here also, last year was the last year of that league…but along with that we have several Arena Football teams and Hockey teams. And how could I forget about boxing(insane how much they make for one fight), Roy Jones Jr. and Antonio Tarver hail from the great state of Florida and reside in Tampa and Orlando…South Florida is a breeding ground for professional boxers to train as well…so it’s safe to say that we have the athletic market on lock.
And then you have the celebrities who FREQUENT Miami, Tampa and Orlando. I lived in Tampa and Orlando and most of the guys who approached me were athletes or musicians.
One thing Florida is not though is progressive. There is only one metro city here and it’s a small metro city, that city being Tampa. People make good money here but it’s not NYC or D.C. or ATL money. This is the state where people with money come to retire. But it’s getting better, we’re a content people down here, we don’t require a lot. My idea of excess is anything over 150k annually. The cost of living is bupkis down here so it doesn’t take a lot to live comfortably.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:09 am
I understand the draw to FL…I don’t think yall pay any state income taxes and there’s something else I can’t remember…maybe the palm trees. Its a nice place to live. I was just a little confused on the whole athlete thing.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:25 am
I always told an ex of mine that if we were to get married that I’d make him sign one. He would look at me like I was crazy. I’m not giving any man half of anything. Real Estate; money; etc..etc..You leave what you came with. PERIOD.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Ok I have watched a lotta divorce court so this is what im basing my answer on, feel free to correct me
If a couple happens to get divorced and the wife has stayed at home with kids for a number of years (depending on what state) she is able to collect alimony, which the judge makes for a number of years based on how long she has been home + what ever the child support order is. So stay at home mom should be able to comfortably live and assuming she wasn’t a bump on a long she has some skills to get back into the work force and make some money. House gets sold and what ever else accumulated during the marriage.
option 2, if no kids are involved then whats yours is yours and mine is mine because in our married years I should have been working and making money sure he may have a little more than me (MAYBE) when its all said and done but I am an able body working woman so my lifestyle shouldn’t change to much, maybe sell a benzo or 2 and I will be back in business.
so with both those I would say a prenup is fine, and well if we are both broke then it doesn’t matter anyway.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Yep Comeback there is no state income tax and our gas is still under the national average in Jax. I think the average is $4.09 and at it’s highest at $5.17 in some places, we’ve been sitting at $3.92 for the past week…this morning it did jump to $3.95 but still well under. And I’m sure the sandy beaches, palm trees and highs in the mid 70’s in Jan and Feb has something to do with it.
But yeah our state is a breeding ground for athletes, even on the college level with FSU, UF, UM and UCF…shit an even high school with Bolles and several others winning the national championships. So we have athletes, musicians and hella dope boys…lol. The dope game is crazy down here…and as much as I despise dope boys they are not going anywhere. Even the corporate guys have fronts down here for legal businesses…it’s crazy…athletes are usually the safe choice if you MUST have a man who’s loaded.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:01 am
“Even the corporate guys have fronts down here for legal businesses”
You mean the corp guys are running to South America and Cuba for “stuff”…is that why all the cubans got the money in Miami? I never seen so many brown people with bentley’s in my life. Please expound.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Getting half for nothing is an idea as old as the dinosaurs. Women who want “half” of “community funds” after marriage or being flat out ridiculous. Heather Mills never recorded any music. Juanita Jordan never bounced a basketball. Maids and nannies don’t get paid millions - why should women get millions for divorcing a celebrity.
This is a cruel extension of women’s liberation and traditional relationships. Again, women want the benefit of being independent but they want the 1950s treatment when it comes to the money. Women got half back inthe days because women didn’t earn an income and a destitute female divorcee was bad for society. Guess what - women have a job now.
Let’s not even mention situations where women make more than men or the men make nothing. The guys rarely take any money - they don’t even try. But women try to bankrupt a ninja…wtf!
My prenupt will stipulate that my wife to be gets none of the money *I worked for before the marriage and a very small fraction during the marriage. She is entitled to receive what she needs to sustain herself after we split. If she doesn’t earn my money, she’s not entitled to it. If women wanna act like men - Man Up and take care of yourself and stop leechin and goldigging.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:16 am
DIT TO
June 16th, 2008 at 11:22 am
I co-sign with anti
June 16th, 2008 at 11:24 am
ya I have been privy to situations where the wife makes over 70k and the husband has to pay alamony.
My best friend works, his babymother didnt… she got custody of their child somehow.so why does he have custody now you ask? she got tired of being a mommy one day and droped her off wor a weekend… that turned into her being gone with no contact for 2 months.
Juanita jordan didnt bounce a balll, but she sure nuff was there for the whole thing. Same way goes for men, Im actually looking forward to my first divorce from my first black wife… since I seem to be dating so many women with PHD’s and women with emotional ADD. IM gonna get fuggin PAID SON!! black women make more than us… fuk a prenup! Only prenup I will sign is one thats hardcore and says some gangster shit like “if you cheat you lose” or something that has to do with breaking the marriage nulls your claim for any assets.
if you dont want to share your money… be a spinster and leave all yo cheddah to your cats. the costs on plug in vibrators is getting pretty cheap.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:29 am
*FELL*
June 16th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Anti, you cant marry with that attitude.
How can we build together if we are always worried about failure and personal gain? your sounding like the women now.
How do you buy a house? who pays to get it fixed? what happens if she has more $ in the beginning… you buy a house together but she pays more… then while together you begin to make more?
I still remember the year my ex first said she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I think I made over 62,000 that year between bloomberg, the bookstore and refereeing. IF we had been married and I signed a prenup that would have been foolish. I brought 14,000 into the house in 2005. I was working at a carwash with a bunch of mexicans. Our combined household income was 87,000… you do the math. the point of being married is to be there ALWAYS… not just when its advantagous to your own personal goals. In 2000 I thought I was never going to make less than that bloomberg salary, I thought my bookstore would always be in business and I thought the economy was going to be rock solid. I didnt kick wifey to the curb because she worked at the local deli. you have to play the game like your a bit vulnerable to really enjoy it. you could buy 70 shares of VM ware stock…. or you can get wifey a car so you can make your lives easier. You HAVE TO forsake your finances and personal future to make a combined future. cant play this game shook son!
I think I said this yesterday so I will say it again. You cant practice with a garden hose and then expect to put the water on full blast with a fire hose when the time comes. You have to practice like you play and play like you expect to win.
translation… dont do this shit half assed@@
oh and stedman deserves his $$ too.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Comeback I know a guy who has held a steady and lucrative job for 15 years, only to find out that he has “businesses” down in Miami and Sarasota. And yes that’s why the Cubans are loaded in South Florida…I don’t want to stereotype them all, but for the most part men(Cubans, Blacks, Whites) down in Miami who aren’t athletes and driving Bentleys are bosses. You can hear it in every Rick Ross song to date…and the sad part is that these nuckleheads are running around here trying to become a boss when only a minute fraction of them actually make it…and for what…a quick buck…idiots I tell ya.
Anti that’s a bit much, how much should Juanita get for raising his kids, taking care of home, helping out with his foundation, supporting him when he fucks up and steps out while still maintaining a smile on her face in the midst of all of the adultery. What do women get for that…shit you can’t pay me ENOUGH money to raise your child while your out living the life and hanging out in the streets. It’s a lonely world when married to a “celebrity” or a man who’s loaded. You honestly don’t think that they deserve something in return, especially if they forfeited their careers to wake up at 4:30am to make you a fruit salad before your morning workout, and to be home at 11am when you’re ready for lunch, not to mention dinner and whatever else the hell men want…all the while keeping your shit clean and in order…what do you say to that?
And I believe that men who marry well to do are also entitled if they have been there to support their women through it all…this situation should definitely not be a one-sided one.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:39 am
“be a spinster and leave all yo cheddah to your cats”
Exactly…I mean where the cats gonna leave. They need pate (accent over the e), air conditioning, heat, flat screen tvs, and assistants..after i’m on the fire place in an urn…overlooking my little feline muffins.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:47 am
I am all for prenups.
I think it’s just smart. It does not mean (not to me at least) that you are betting on your marriage ending. It is not just to protect a man, but myself. I am a professional woman who has worked very hard to be where I am. A prenup will protect my investments from BEFORE I met my husband. A prenup will not totally keep either one of us from sharing anything that was accumulated during the marriage. I think that’s only fair. It does, however depend on the state you’re in and the circumstances of the agreement and divorce.
But it’s a good idea. good even if you’re not a millionaire. Good if you’re a woman. Good if this is your first or fourth marriage.
I wouldn’t be offended if someone brought it up. I plan to bring it up.
Maybe I feel this way because I’m in law and have worked in a divorce atty’s office before. Maybe I feel this way because I’m practical and I dont’ harbor any fairytale expectations about marriage.
i want to be married once and right and forever. So no problem getting a prenup if I don’t plan on having to execute it, right?
June 16th, 2008 at 11:53 am
@Teacia: The market rate for being a nanny/maid ain’t that much. Are you advocating a pay raise for all nannies and maids? Also, women have a choice. Juanita didn’t have to “give up her career”. That argument is BS.
@HNIC: I am shocked and appalled…wait…you are a simp. How soon I forget! Keep your money in your pocket man. There may be some honor in chivalry but there is no honor in poverty.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
fuck chilvary, its a made up term for women to get over.
Me being a geek am in love with REAL chilvary… but since I dont have a coat of arms and a suit of armor to ride around on hoseback…. theres no such thing as chilvary.
What im talkin about my man is reality. You can call me a simp… and I can call you shook.
Grown ass, black man afraid of getting his heart broken… oh bo frikkin hoo. your cant get anywhere constantly being afraid of whats going to happen next. Im not talkin about throw yo money on random hoe #7.. infact, we need to pay LESS money out to women we date and no money to women we are just “friends” with. but you have to be seriously open and giving and unafraid if you want to make a marriage work.
sheesh I cant belive a grown man is such a coward… I can understand the black women… its in their nature to be timid… but a dude? Anti brotha…. your not bill gates. your measly 80k salary and 250k condo and 49k car is nothing is NOTHING to write home about and nothing so important you have to draw up contracts about. focus on being happy alone or happy together… not someplace in between.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Anti you gonna let Hasani break you down like dat….***grabs cyber popcorn***
June 16th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
“Are you advocating a pay raise for all nannies and maids? Also, women have a choice. Juanita didn’t have to “give up her career”. ”
Are we talking about live-in nannies and those who have to shoulder the burden of raising a kid if ole boy decides to bounce…nannies/maids who provide a service to the well to do are FULLY compensated, most even get a spare room in the mansion or a wing to call their own.
And until you date someone like a Jordan, you can’t fully understand what’s expected of women in those situations. They really do have to be able to drop all else to be at his beck and call. I’ve been a part of it once(and happily decline any future offers) and have seen it a thousand times. Being a spouse, partner or even girlfriend to someone who is influential or have loads of cash isn’t as easy as it seems…it takes a toll on you emotionally and mentally, and financial compensation isn’t enough to regain your sanity at times.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Daaaaamn Sani, ur in full attack mode today…lol.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
@HNIC: My salary, car, condo & motorcycle are something to write home about. And I hate to say it, but you are a simp. Fear in men is real, this whole hearted “jump of a bridge for love” is some BS you concocted.
In general, Hasani, I just can’t get with 90% of your “preaching”. I, and many of my black male friends, do fear commitment. Overall, black women are looking for relationships before me. I don’t know where you get this idea that every black man is trying to have a wife and household and women are the ones sucking & f*cking everything … because its not the case. Call me a spook, called me scared, call out my fear of commitment, but I’m in no rush to start a family or bun anyone up unless she is the true PROTOTYPE.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
First of all I don’t think you can bring in the top 1% of national earners in this country. Most of us will probably not marry nor become a 100 million dollar a year enterprise. And no one here is an athlete.
Juanita is a good example with a higher number. I say god bless her if she made a good defense. I’m sure some of those franchise agreements, licensing deals, and let us not forget the “family” image that she “helped him to play” that garnered addtional deals. That packed the seats in all those arenas. She helped maintain his family image…when he was being “tricky” over there at the Ritz Carlton on M street.
She didn’t just get paid for being married to an athlete SHE ALSO GOT PAID FOR THE SHAME. Michael Jordan was not always discrete.
So let’s take out our calculator and compute the market rate for embarrassment. I’m adding zeros as I go for the TV, gossip mags, and pictures.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
@Hasani: I really really hate to say it … but if your salary was double what it is now (which would get you close to me) … your outlook on love, life & dating would be a lot different.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
mouth open*** SBM I AM SHOCKED…where is all this aggression coming from. I didn’t think you had it in you!!! Its just a blog.
Just a topic
Its all in fun…wait let me get my popcorn. Give me 5 mins.
June 16th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
so ur in the mid 70’s low 80’s SBM…one time for the self-plug…lol, priceless! let me see what’s going on at vsb…i’ve been totally neglecting them lately.
June 16th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
@Teacia: Good post about women’s obsession with poles and the unfair bum rap given to most strippers.
And please don’t do the math for people. If they wanna know they can ask or do the research and multiplication themselves. I’m young … I don’t make no real money …
June 16th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Yeah I just checked it out…I have nothing against stripper and not much interesting to say about it…the Silver Fox is the after club hangout spot here in Jax. We go where the fellas are…and on the real I’ve learned a few good moves at Shangrala in Tampa…there’s this thing you can do to make it vibrate…well nevermind, that isn’t ur blog topic…lol.
And how much is it exactly that you bring in young buck?
June 16th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
If my name and exact age are jealously guarded secrets, what make you think I’m about to tell everyone what I’m working with?
I gave you a hint, let’s leave it at that.
June 16th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Hasani is a UNIX admin who is “not qualified to do his job” his range is (45k-60k) entry level unix admins are somwhere around 55k…I’m not sure if we should do any major subtraction with not being qualified. 55k would put SBM over 100k. SBM are you including TOTAL compensation??? health, sick pay, OT or straight salary?
June 16th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Hasani said that he got a 100% raise from when he was working on the loading docks making $16K, which would put him at $32…SBM says that you can double it and almost reach his…so I’m thinking $73ishK…and maybe a promotion or two away from the low 100Ks…but not quite there yet…but in his mid 20’s that’s not a bad look either way….way to go buddy. *hi-five*
June 16th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
And I thought Hasani worked for Johnson and Johnson in the IT dept…did you guys ever figure out what you were going to do about the generic version of “Kolaid” hitting the market and undercutting your price and profits?
June 16th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
“Hasani said that he got a 100% raise from when he was working on the loading docks making $16K”
not according to my research on the space…
Anyway if theres a unix admin at 32 K. I’d like to start a labor revolution. Cause in NY/NJ you’re on food stamps or living in Trenton.
June 16th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
or Bayonne..
June 16th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Prenup is the way to go… God forbid that you have a divorce…but if you do.. all your business is already planned out. Why not take away all the disputes out of a divorce. If you have one… there’s nothing little to argue about in court. It will make your life much easier to move foward.
June 16th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
why oh why Comeback did you lead me back to the space…yeah his pages states something different…lol…but I can’t get past the pimp hat and the fact that he comments on his own page…lmao.
ok no more jonesing on Sani…45-65K is a decent living…I don’t know why he claims poverty like he does…then again I am in the South where the cost of living is dirt cheap compared to the North.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
AMEN. I fully support this post. First of all women need to approach marriage like a business. Two people don’t go into a business together without a contract. Love and lust is nice but at the end of the day marriage is like running a company. Certain things are required to make sure that company stays profitable. I will definitely sign a prenuptial agreement because I have assets and property and I’ll be damned if I have to give that away in the event that I have to divorce my husband. Now if my husband comes into the relationship with more money then me, I will not be offended if he asks for a prenuptial agreement. In fact I would be a little concerned if I was dating a wealthy man and his advisors did not mention him signing a prenup.
Even if both people do not have a lot of assets to their name, it is still a good idea to get a prenup anyway. What if you are in law, medical, or business school when you get married? Did you know that if you get a divorce, your spouse can claim that they contribute to your success and can demand any earnings you get as a result of that degree? Scary isn’t it? Look at Paul McCarty: he was married to a broad for less than three years and had to break her off 50 fucking million dollars because he did not sign a prenup. That woman didn’t deserve that type of settlement but since he was dumb enough to not have a prenup, the courts felt that she as entitled to that money.
I will also have a clause about cheating. I have such a low tolerance for that shit. Sometimes I go back and forth about whether or not I will end my marriage over a one time piece of booty. I feel that if my husband ever cheats on me eventually it will be over because I might not get over the betrayal. Nevertheless I feel that if a spouse cheats he/she shouldn’t get shit. Infidelity is one of the actions in marriage that can be prevented.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
I think we’re leaving something sig. out. Everybody’s like yeah sign here on the dotted line. No you sign here on MY dotted line.
People THIS IS A CONTRACT. Contracts are negotiated. I will sign, but if I feel nickeled and dime’d then what??? We’re battling it out like its a straight microsoft FTC violation…I think if you do it right and fair …it could get messy.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
“ok no more jonesing on Sani”
What are you saying..is this a freudian slip. Are you Joanin’???? or Joansin???
June 16th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Comeback Girl, I completely understand where you are coming from which is why I think before people get married they should have an honest discussion about money because that is the #1 reason why people get divorced. In fact everyone shoudl go to marriage counseling because you’ll be surprised how much comes out during those sessions. Before I get married (I gotta find the hubby first hehehe) I want to know his mindset about sex, money, raising children, in-laws etc.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
^^ I agree. This totally takes the romance (insert finance) out of love. I’m depressed.
On some level I understand why people “hide” assets too. And this is why the chick’s chick in me wants to tell women to have something to bring to the table or at least put some things aside for a rainy day (if you’re a stay at home mom) IN YOUR OWN PERSONAL SAVINGS/CHECKING or off shore account.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
OMG so true! My mom said regardless of how much in love you are, have a secret bank account that no one knows about. You never know what may happen. When I was living in Geneva Switzerland back in 05, I opened an account out there that I now put 300 bucks into every month which has become my “just in case shit happens” account.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
BTW most aspects of marriage is not romantic. I think Western Culture has warped people’s perception of marriage. You aren’t going to feel in lust or desire your partner 24-7. In fact you will have to deal with the daily issues of LIFE such as bills, children, IN-LAWS, health, etc…Marriage isn’t glamourous.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
@Comeback: Can we stop with this Chick’s chick & Dick’s chick nonesense. You should aim to be both and I don’t see why anyone couldn’t find balance between the two, whethere they be man or woman.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
“Marriage isn’t glamourous.”
Girl its like you just poured water in my espresso with steamed breve. Why oh why!!! sike I understand its not. This is why couple counseling is so important.
“Can we stop with this Chick’s chick & Dick’s chick nonesense. You should aim to be both and I don’t see why anyone couldn’t find balance between the two, whethere they be man or woman.”
Do you feel “out of the circle” when I say chick’s chick. Are you the kind of man that likes to be included when its “just the girls” talking. Look, I’m a chick’s chick from the “rooter to the tooter” (work cited Mystery) and to the day they close my coffin. Dick’s Chicks are worse than a jimmy choo knock off on canal street (during an FBI raid on the 6 oclock world news)… by simple definition Dick’s chicks are not good. They take other people’s men (maybe even there mama’s if he look hard enough), they have no honor. So why exactly should I be a dick’s chick..
if you make up your own definition and if I agree I’ll co-sign. But give me my coined phrases and terms. thank you.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
@Comeback: No, I don’t feel left out, it just comes off to me as that spinster talk which could lead someone to be single for another 31 years.
Just like u have simps and your overly “I ain’t doin sh*t for a b*tch” individuals, in the end the middle ground ends up winning.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
My aren’t we participating a lot today my dear SBM…it’s almost as if this is your blog…lol.
…man and Tiger is slipping on his pimpin in the playoffs today…come on Tiger you can do it…besides the dude your playing against is ranked 158th in the world and you’re ranked #1…how’s that going to look if you lose…ok enough rambling about the U.S Open…off to take my final…later guys.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
” I don’t feel left out, it just comes off to me as that spinster talk which could lead someone to be single for another 31 years.”
you know what…if susan b anthony was living she beat your butt right here with a switch. Being a spinster doesn’t taunt me. Last time I checked most people on this blog where closer to 30 than they were 20 (if not that) even those that conceal their age. I have just as many options as a man would…and I could go to the caucasian side…so im good with my marital status.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Hello folks…
It is interesting that this is the post for the day. I was having this exact conversation with a guy friend of mine last nite. I said that if my man wanted me to sign a prenup I wouldn’t have a problem signing one. Now would I require him to sign one…probably not. Simplying because when I down for you, I am in it totally and completely. Now I would only sign a prenup for monetary reasons and I like the clause about cheating. I know it sounds like I am contradicting myself but I am not.
I don’t think its saying you are getting a divorce I think its just protecting yourself from what you had before you met this person. Now one would argue the point that once you become married then everything should be shared. Well yes and no. Alot goes into play when discussing marriage or assets gained before marriage.
When I do get married I don’t think the man who wants to marry me would want a prenup simply because of the type of woman I am. But if for some reason he does then sure I will sign on the dotted line. You know now that I think about it, if and when I get married if my bank account is sitting in the millions then I would have him sign a prenup. What we gain together is ours but what I worked hard for before him well I share as I feel fit. But this idea is definitely subject to change.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
good points Ms. Dev.
June 16th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Seriously Tho I just got my lalah cd in the mail today and I have been distracted like 50 times already!!! imma have to hide in the closet turn off the cell phone, computer, and close the door to listen….
*off topic*
June 16th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
take some tissues in there girl…and read the lyrics..just the best writing and singing EVER..
June 16th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
BMS: my income wouldnt change my outlook on love youngman
age will change yours.
Im a “simp” but Im obviously not an idiot…. or do you think I just fell out of bed one day and SPLAT was implanted with a lifetime of memories and morals?
I dont say take your search of loving to lunacy…. I need you men not to act like the women and take anything said you may not agree with and twist the words to extremes… men arent supposed to eb timid and fearful like that we are hunters and gathers after all right?
Never cross your mate, its the only way you can get ahead is to trust eachother. IM not sayin let random hoe #7 walk all over yo ass. guard yourself against RH7 because she is looking in this modern era to exploit your ass…. as you can see by the reactions and words of most of the women on the blog. But damnit men, your partner is your partner.
you fear commitment? then dont commit. relationships are not for everyone. and NO your salary isnt anything to write home about. Juanita and Mike are elite… your still middle class. I make 31k and now have no assets, you make 150k and have a condo …. we are both still middle class son. thats chump change compared to the elite in our society.
as for me making more money and that changing my outlook on life and love?
Only thing that will change my outlook is me. I have a buddy that recently we, as in me and all of our friends, walked in on his fience with another man. My boy has owned a “HOUSE”…. not an appartment not a condo… in jersey since 1999. He earns over 200k per year and between him and his fience are holding over 1500 shares of stock in ERTS and have been for the past 8 years. So this man has more money and less payments than anyone I know. What did we do friday? We had a party and spent the entire night chatting up the ladies. It will take him some time to heal but like me he is no coward and knows he wants a mate.
IF EA’s new game hits its projections and EA signs on with PS’3 the stock could peak as high as 80 he says. between that and VMware he could retire in 5 years. lucky bastard has already paid off his mortgae.
Money would make me more aloof with the women I meet and woud deffinatly make me more of a snob. If I only date MD’s and PHD’s now…. wtf am I gonna date with a salary over 80k? but I highly dobut my morals will change son. Im a man, just like my father and god father before me. not perfect but a man none the less.
to each his own. if you boys are afraid to commit then join the many sistas who are too afraid to commit. Marriage is a goal and a privilege but not for everyone, especially those who cant respect the institution. but seriously… you didnt get where you are today by half assing it… why would you do the same with the most important decision of your life?
June 16th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Divorce is indeed a reality.
I don’t think many people enter into marriage plotting on some dough. (Though some do. RIP Anna Nicole)
But yo… Say I singlehandedly build my little business into a big business and while I’m across the country at the West Coast office, My Little Honeybun decides to get it in with the neighbor across the street cause I’m never home…
I’d prolly try to resolve it and fix whatever is wrong, cause that’s just who I am.
But if that doesn’t work… I’d like to retain most of what I built up.
Throw children, her having a hand in my success, and property into the mix and it all gets messier, yo.
A prenup cuts down on a lot of BS.
June 16th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Well I would like to say that it’s been a beautiful day on SBM.net…we didn’t scare away other commenters with our bickering and we didn’t even need a peace day flag to be waved..way to go everyone…pats on the back for all who participated.
…I wonder who was missing today…maybe THAT lack of negativity kept down the confusion…just a thought.
Well off I go…later guys! **again pats on the back for everyone**
June 16th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Hasani do you really know unix???
im stuck..i need to know the command to find a process I am running and then I need to kill it.
???
damsel in distress please help.
June 16th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Teacia …I think everyone has had their moment in the sun. Lets keep it real you were extremely negative on your first day and caused more confusion than I’ve seen in my nearly 7 month tenure..so lets not get too brand new.
have a good day.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
comeback im still working on it girl, might not be til tomorrow when i get to it
*mad*
June 16th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
@ Hasani …see how you do ??? Im in distress over here and you leave me totally hanging.
@ Mikki…press play.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Yeah Comeback that was ONE day and it was aimed at SBM…a dude…the moderator, challenging a man’s intellect is what I do…and last I checked SBM kind of enjoyed it…and I also explained it at the end of the day citing boredom and fun, and apologized for getting those heated who felt the need to come to his rescue…it was all in love.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Yes, I agree, it’s been a wonderful day on the blog, as is EVERYDAY to me because it’s just a blog on a computer & people posting & voicing their opinions (if at ANY point someone feels like killin’ themselves or name calling because of an opinion, then there’s a SERIOUS PROBLEM)…that’s the point of a blog!!!
So, cheers to my fellow bloggers today & always (EVEN IF I DON”T SHARE YOUR OPINIONS, I REFUSE TO BE LESS THAN A LADY..that’s my pledge to you all)!!!!!!!!
June 16th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
And I too, “wonder who was missing”?!!! EVERYONE that I’ve seen post before…was here again today!!!!
June 16th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Teacia, I was really happy until you went there, why did you feel the need to bring up the fact nobody was causing drama we went a whole day without nobody being rude and you HAD to point out that nobody was trippin today
sounds like you wanted to create drama, personally everybody thats been here for the last few days have been here today as well as NEGATIVE as we are we managed to not cause issues so whats say you hun……….(worksite comeback)
*Going back to my cd listening party*
June 16th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I think I found the weakest link
June 16th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
*rolling my eyes*…just making an observation hater.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Teacia, you are wrong. And you know you are. And Im going to tell you why. When you came past these here parts your aim was to “set it off” like a Queen Latifah movie.
“challenging a man’s intellect is what I do”
This is after you break him down and them you agree with him…is that the same plan you had over at Eathan’s site??? I peeped that you dropped the same bomb. But he averted the distruction a little better wouldn’t you say?
All I’m saying is I believe someone else said that this is NOT HOW you win and influence friends. Actually before you came, we NEVER had this kind of drama EVER. We would all disagree and then go to our seperate blogs, but I’m going to be honest. I was a little caught off guard cause you know little communites are usually protected by their leaders. People come in and peep the culture and then they “obey the social rules and mores”.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
I’m not trying to Eliza Dolittle you…this is not my fair lady…but sometimes it helps to just put a lid on it. Remember what you type. You can’t brag one day about having a robotic coochie…without somebody suggesting that you might be …a…little liberal with the undies.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Comeback you holding out on us??
what bomb?? what site???who is eathan???
lost………
June 16th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
now lets squash it… cue Madeleine Albright’s representative. I’m sure there will be followup.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
I’ll let Teacia explain.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
*folding arms tappin foot*
June 16th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
AMENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 400000000000000000 % @ comeback, that’s ALL I’ma say!!!!!!!!! Other than the fact, EVERYONE ON THE BLOG CAN”T POSSIBILY BE “YOUNG & STUPID”…hum…makes me think…there’s ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE variable to ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the MADNESSSSSSSSSSSSS!
ADDITIONALLY, IF YOu WANT TO BAN ME FOR BEIN’ REAL & SPEAKIN” MY MIND (ALWAYS RESPECTFULLY MIGHT I ADD UNLESS SOMEONE HAS REPEATELY TRIED TO TEAR ME DOWN), SO BE IT!!!!
June 16th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Teacia is definitely a fight starter. If there is half an argument in existence, she’ll curse someone out until its fully out.
Comeback loves to sprinkler her insults with her comments and take quotes out of context. Along with taking discussions WAY off topic.
Mikki loves to co-sign with Comeback & Mystery … often furthering existing fight.
Mystery LIKES TO USE CAPS and TTTTTOOOOOOO MMMAAANNNNNYYYYYY LLLEETTTTTEEERRRRRSSSS. Also a constant insult sniper ala Comeback.
Hasani likes to disagree and talk on and on and on and on and … wait … what was my point?
Me … I just talk sh*t a lot to certain people.
As far as your all concerned your all crazy … but I love you all the same. I can’t blame anyone person more than the other for the constant “bickering”. I just thank the Lord above for peacekeepers like Ms. D & Sheila.
Too bad the fighting has run, GeeGee, YBL, Neonnea, Akua, Anti (to an extent) and a gang of other from the site.
Maybe we should all just take it easy and not get involved in all these petty arguments (I am guilty too) and chill. Please … for me (why do you think my immune system is shot and I keep getting sick!)
June 16th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
I read the comments but what are ya’ll talking about now. What did Teacia do? Eathan has a blog called Ionlydatewhite or something like that.
But what is going on now with you folks.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
SBM ***as I sit here monitoring MY network via a unix interface THAT SOMEBODY COULDNT “HELP” ME WITH***
I blame you as well. Now you wanna bring your big penis in a place it on a table. We all have our quirks from the instagators to the short bus passengers (who change from time to time). Sometimes I believe people can spoil a situation and BAD. Your job is to steer the ship.
A little controversy is good. Hell didn’t prince write a song about it. Sometimes it can capsize a ship.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
AMEN SBM!! I get so sick of the bullshit fights I feel like I am back in high school. But I totally agree with you. You hit the head on the nail with all these folks.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
lol SBM thanks for trying to lighten things up cuz you know it was about to go down……
you are too silly!!!!
lov ya!!
nope Ms Dev can’t find it
*still tappin foot*
June 16th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Ms. Dev
I think you are just as much apart of the problem as everybody else. You can’t be Switzerland and Russia.
All I’m doing is pointing it out. And I suggested it squashed. Now you want recaps and details?
June 16th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
There’s nothing to explain…there was a behind the scenes conversation with Eathan that took place offline which inspired his blog as well as mine, and since I was the chic in his passage that he was talking about I felt it necessary to defend my view…oh you thought my opinion was unsolicited…yeah you would. My words actually have value, it incites conversation and forces people to think and not just speak. He aske for permission to write about our conversation and I told him to respect my input, he of course was all for it and said “it’s actually a good thing, your inciting dialogue.” And Eathan would have kept it going if I felt up to it but instead I declined. I squashed it that day, as he did on my blog as well and we have since been cool emailing buddies…try minding yours please.
As far as my first day on SBM, I read a few of the previous post and got a feel for the moderator…me calling a strongly opinionated man like SBM a whining little bitch got exactly the response I was soliciting…he was intrigued and wanted to know more about me. And if I recall correctly this is what he said, “@Teacia: Man … you bout to have me falling for you. Thats a problem since I already promised my heart to someone else on here … but … I think she’ll understand.” I started a heated debate b/c I called him out on his whining, moderator or not. SBM and I have also become buddies offline.
Now explain to me how my statement not referring to anyone in particular just pointing out the unity of the day could lead to all of this.
Oh and the coochie is far from robotic…don’t ever think I said it was either. And explain how admitting to sleeping with 9 men in my lifetime makes my shit liberal…just wondering…considering 7 of them proposed.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Oh no Ms. Comeback you indeed stirred it up…you can’t now request it to be squashed. And Ms. D isn’t doing shit other than trying to catch up the madness that you seem to have such a hold on.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Point at your damn self. What are you talking about Comeback? You can’t be Switzerland and Russia.
How do you feel like I am part of your problem? I don’t bicker with you all EVER. I state my case and I move on. I am rarely on here all day going back and forth about bullshit that has nothing to do with the post. I think you need to rethink you last statement or at least back it up with some facts. I mainly just try to encourage you all to get REAL about alot of shit that you all say. So please miss me with that mess….
I’ll wait for your facts…
Back to my kind self again. And yes I want recaps and details. I’ll wait while you get that for me.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I like SBM blog and I am staying until he shuts it down…
June 16th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Teacia, you are messy. You’ve already admitted it. Its in other comments. Its come out of your mouth. The back and forth with SBM is cute and funny. But its run off half the faithful readership.
But apparently its all ok with SBM so ultimately is cool. But I’m telling you woman to woman I’ve peeped the stello. I see how you interact with others, I see even what you write about yourself regarding this all.
And I’d just thought I’d point it out. But maybe maybe I should check where Gee Gee and Neonnea are hangin at and join them.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Ms. D: There actually was no bickering today other than the Comeback and Hasani show, but nothing new to see…I simply pointed it out while implying that someone was missing in action…when in fact everyone was here…but since certain folk felt guilty or said friends felt the need to defend them it got ugly…and for what, to prove me wro