When I reached out to my fellow bloggers, the writer of Adventures in Divorce told me she had some gems to share … and man she wasn’t lying. As anyone following me on twitter knows, my 9 to 5 (ha … like I get to leave at 5!) keeps me very occupied … so I don’t get to read every good blog post that I should. That’s one reason I love it when people hit me up and let me know what I’m missing. Let me share one post that rang true.
The thirsty n****a! I have fallen prey to the thirst before (even earning me the temporary weekend nickname “Sprite”), but have since learned the error of my ways (except for when I’m out at bike week … which is where I got the nickname from) … so I share this as a lesson to all … until I can put my own personal spin on the subject.
Enjoy.
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Thirsty!!
Advice to Men: Make sure you drink plenty of water before you go out in order to prevent excessive thirsty behavior.
Let me let you in on a little secret…. game is highly overrated. Personally, I can tell within the first 5 minutes of meeting you whether I like you or not and whether you’re going to have a shot at ever talking to me again. If you have to ask me more than once if I want to dance, that means I don’t want to. If you have to ask more than once for my number, that means I don’t want to give it to you. You won’t have to talk me into spending time with you…. in fact, I don’t need to be “talked into” anything. If you get a positive response from a woman, that means it’s because she has independently made that decision, not because you convinced her to respond that way.
A huge turn-off, though, is a guy that acts thirsty. In case you don’t know what that means, here you go:
Thirsty /ˈθɜrsti/ [thur-stee]
-adjective, thirst·i·er, thirst·i·est.
1. Too eager to get something (especially play)
2. Desperate
(Boy running up) “Ay gurl whasup? Look, you lookin real nice, can I get that young number?”
(Girl under breath) “Thirsty”
(thanks, Urban Dictionary)
I am certainly a woman who appreciates confidence and bold moves, but there’s a fine line between that and being thirsty. I know that the saying goes that “Persistence pays”, but persistence has its limits and can easily cross the line. Let me break it down in an example:
Persistent:
You meet a woman out some place that you both frequent. The two of you have a nice conversation but it seems like she’s really not that eager to give you her number, so you leave it alone. Next time you see her up in the spot, you might offer to buy her a drink and engage her in more conversation (but still not pressing her for her number). Eventually she may decide that hey, this is a nice guy, maybe I should get to know him better. Nice conversation and gestures over an extended period of time is persistence.
Thirsty:
‘Nuff said. Unfortunately, this is NOT that far off from what happens in real life.
In the event that your thirstiness-disguised-as-persistence DOES pay, it’s usually with counterfit money. You’re either going to get 1 half hearted dance ending in a mad dash to the bathroom, a fake number, or if you do get a real number your calls may or may not get answered or returned (and this in and of itself lends to even more thirsty behavior). Or, worse, you get a woman who will acquiesce in your “game” and allow you to make an ass of yourself long enough for her to get what she wants out of you, and you’re still left scratching your head wondering why you never got anywhere with her (ever heard Dwele’s “Shady”? (Click and listen) Yea, something like that).
Perhaps this isn’t true for all women…. I’m sure there are those that play along with the games because that’s what’s expected. But I speak for myself and others like me when I say that thirsty behavior is a no-no. If it’s going to happen, it’ll happen. Just BE COOL. And give women a little more credit for knowing what they want.
*sigh* me and my girls have been using this term since like 2000 courtesy of Shaun Cruz and over the course of my life I’ve witnessed my fair share of it. It’s exhausting telling a guy no over and over again. Here’s one example of many from my personal life: I worked at Sprint PCS, there was this attractive dark skinned brother who since he had been with most every woman in the place decided to give a go at me. He asked me EVERY DAY that I came to work if we could go out sometime to which I always sweetly replied in the negative. I finally got sick of it and asked him “are you trying to wear me down with your persistence?” he said yes, i told him that shyt only works in the movies and to stop asking me. Now…mind you, I was nice about it the first 10 or 15 times..a girl can only take so much.
I disagree, however, with the notion that I know within the first 5 minutes whether or not i like you. Sure some guys can turn me off completely within that short time span…but some are just lukewarm or stuck in the middle. the conversation isn’t so bad that he gets ex-ed and not so good that i’m waiting by the phone…but i can give you the chance to grow on me. Some of my most enjoyable ‘relationships’ have been people who I didn’t immediately like. My ex-boyfriend was pretty thirsty when i first met him….he turned out to be the best boyfriend ever.
I have never heard this term but it’s now in my vocabulary. I agree with the writer that if I don’t take you up on the offer immediately, LET IT GO! I can’t tell you Damn my turn down, isn’t your “persistance” a blow to the ego???!!!!
Bree, I’m going to have to use that, “are you trying to wear me down with your persistence?” Usually I just keep with the trying to turn him down sweet, keep making up things to do game until they tire…. which may take a while.
For some men, I will know in the first 5 minutes if I want to talk to you, and unfortunately it has NOTHING to do with your conversation…. It’s all visual for me in those first few minutes.
Good Morning Everyone
I’ve seen many dudes like this. These cats do it because sometimes it works. I have seen guys beg, beg, and beg to get with a woman. When I say “get with a woman” I mean sleep with her. I have seen guys beg until the woman gives in.
all I have to say is that that video had my crackin up, because thats exactly how it happens in real life and thats a damn shame!
ya ya ya get out ma face!!!
ok lemmie take my butt to work
Did Mikki just say ya ya ya???? I’m cracking up. That song is fool.
@HUmble: Good Morning! I don’t get the beggging until something happens… isn’t that winning by default????
why are these blogs extra good when I’m on a muthafreckin deadline!!!!!
i’ll be back at noon in case anyone is missing me badly
@Nicki Sunshine – Yes it is winning by default. But they don’t care. These dudes are willing to do whatever to get with you. For them the end justify means.
@Humble: Wow…. I think I’m too prideful to do that… if you don’t give me an indicator that you want me, I’m walking off. LOL.
@Comeback: See you girl… good luck with that deadline.
@Breelicious
“I disagree, however, with the notion that I know within the first 5 minutes whether or not i like you. Sure some guys can turn me off completely within that short time span…but some are just lukewarm or stuck in the middle. the conversation isn’t so bad that he gets ex-ed and not so good that i’m waiting by the phone…but i can give you the chance to grow on me.”
I dont think you can get to know somebody in 5 or 20 minutes. What would be the deciding factor in him getting your number or not? Outside of him coming off like an ass.
@Nicki Sunshine – I agree. I have waay too much pride and dignity to beg like that. But like I said before some guys dont care. I say these dudes have “kamikaze d**ks”. They will go through the depths of hell, walk over hot coals, and risk their life for p**sy
@Humble: Not Kamikaze…. I’m cracking up over here. That one was originial!!!!!
@Humble-Almost screaming with “kamikaze d*ck”. Said incident happens all the time. I love Wal-Mart and I always go when I get my hair done cause it’s like right there…well everytime I walk out the door of the hair salon I gotta hear let me get with you, can I have your number, can you take mine?
NO! I have a man, I have a husband, I’ve got 7 kids. Just leave me alone!
Nicki I had to, i was thinkin about that crazy girl on the marta when i did that lol.
just why
@Mikki: Girl, I would have beat that girl on the MARTA unconscious. She was ridiculous!!!!!
Niggas…so the chic across the way was moving out this morning, her “friend” was out there when I went to get something out of my car. Now mind you i’m dressed for the gym, so he asks me for the time, I think nothing of it and say 7:26, he then looks back to see if she is around and then mouths to me, “you got a man?”…nigga are you serious?!?!? Aint yo girl in the house trying to get her stuff out before the sheriff come round here and make it happen..lol. Talkin bout thirsty…don’t you have shit to do negro, like move that box maybe…damn.
*sidenote* working out in the morning is not a good look for my hair, back to the evenings i go.
@Teacia-Sad. He need to do better. And about the hair…morning doesn’t work for mine either…unless I’m hood and I keep it wrapped and throw a baseball cap on and I try not to do this but I mean…gotta do what you gotta do.
@Nicki-Don’t think I forgot….I’m not quite ADDICTED
@Teacia: DAMMIT! LOL. The epitome of a dog. Sneaky, ignorant dog… you should’ve waited until she came back to the door and been like, What, what did you say, Yeah, I hav a man, extra loud!!!
Working out is not good for my hair morning or evening, so I dont do it. LOL.. hat’s off to ya.
@Jaclynn: Okay I forgot… you’ve gotta help me out here girl.
@Nicki-After everything I say say ADDICTED 1-sex 2-food 3-drugs……
@Jaclynn: I was walking outta class and got that text. Girl, I had to share.. it was funny as heck.
@Humble…i’m not sure if you’re agreeing or disagreeing with me…but just to be clear my point was that I can’t get to know someone in 5 minutes and sometimes that little 5 minute conversation isn’t enough to sway me in either direction…now the ONLY thing that can sway me in 5 minutes is a good combination of attractiveness, humor, and charm.
@Teacia and Jacklyn…that’s why perms are for SUCKAS!! LMAO…j/k
@Nicki: some dude flagged down my attention while we were stuck in an on ramp and asked for my number, i politely said “no, but thank you”…he said “why not”…I said “do you really want the answer to that?” and gave him that look like “you know better” his homeboy in the car was like “dude…she said no, leave it alone!” hahaha!! i should’ve leaned over and gave that one my number cuz he apparently has common sense.
@Bree.. Aint’ that right???? You are so outspoken… I’m gonna take that quality from you. LOL. I would’ve just gotten flustered and rolled up my windows. LOL.
one thing I have learned… is women have NO FUCKING CLUE what they want.
How many women do you brothas know who complain in oxymoronic terms?
I want a man who is caring and into me…. but then complain I hated the guy I was dating because he was weak and smothered me?
I want a man thats practical but complains her last date didnt want to “do anything” other than the same ostuff?
I once saw a woman. I mean I just saw her legs hangin out in the isle while I walked past the room, in a skirt. Like any horny 20 year old man I wanted to hollar at whomever they were attached to. So I devised a plan to switch into the “computer fundamentals 101″ class…just to hollar.
I joined the class and thought the owner of those legs had the cutest smie Id ever seen on a woman…. so I decided to ask her out. She said no the first time….. and the 2nd….. and 3rd… but I didnt let that phase me. I found out she was taking a writing class, the same writing class as me only on anther day. So what did I do? I changed my schedule so that I was now driving 20 miles to class 4 days a week… just so I could be in the same class as this girl twice a week…… oh and she said NO when I asked her out the 4th and 5th time too!
I continued every angle of game, line and flattery to try and get this chick out of her skirt, and kept getting NO after NO. I asked for 6 months…. yes 6 months straight.
the last day of class I figured I wanted to try one last thing. I shaved my Osamma Bin Ladden/QuestLove beard and matching afro…. and came to class with Shoes, slacks and a polo insted of XXXL sweatpants and a played out michigan jersey. I asked her out one final time… dispite gettin NO from this gal at least once per week for 6 months straight and making an absolute fool out of myself…..
she said “sure” when I asked her to “dinner?”
I spent the next 10 years with that girl….. and she was the first person to say “oh I wish I had just said yes the first day but women dont know what they want”
I dont know about yall niggas, but if there is anything I feel I truly deserve I am going to get it. Job, friendship and especially a woman.
@HNIC: “the last day of class I figured I wanted to try one last thing. I shaved my Osamma Bin Ladden/QuestLove beard and matching afro…. and came to class with Shoes, slacks and a polo insted of XXXL sweatpants and a played out michigan jersey. I asked her out one final time… dispite gettin NO from this gal at least once per week for 6 months straight and making an absolute fool out of myself…..
she said “sure” when I asked her to “dinner?”
Hmmm…. could the fact that you changed your appearance now made you appealing?
@Hasani-Hmmmm. I’ll agree with you there we don’t. Can’t help ourselves though. You know what they say it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind…and a man’s prerogative to change it back.
my rule of thumb is that a number should never be asked for. If I’ve done what I’m supposed to do, it will magically find it’s way into the phone….
***does magic trick***
@whyso: Dammit!!!!!!! hope you never come across a woman like me cause we’ll both lose.. LOL. I never offer, just flirt and “hopes’ he’ll ask.
nicki…
we wouldn’t lose
Most guys are FOCUSED on getting a phone number, getting a date, or getting the draws. I’m simply like to enjoy a woman’s presence, the push-pull, and witty banter…mmmmm. If I do that, then getting the number wont be a big issue….cause she’ll want to continue the fun.
mmmmm….fun….serious!
@whyso: Got it. Some men are like predators: Hunt, stalk, KILL. I think some people don’t understand the slow dance of “flirting.”
@HNIC: i’m sorry sweetie…PEOPLE don’t know what they want. There are plenty of men complaining in oxymorons as well. I had a dude I had catered to and treated like a king but he decided he wanted to just be friends…he was sitting in my house with me and my homies one day talking about how women these days don’t know how to treat a man and cater to him, yadda yadda…um, dude, wasn’t i cleaning your freakin house and ironing your clothes and cooking you dinner and …..yeah….it’s people, it’s not exclusive to women.
And I’ll agree, in some instances persistence pays off..I mean, look at Obama…he had to ask Michelle out several times. But in your case (and in Barack’s), you were willing to step your game up to prove your interest…these symp a$$ dudes following me down the street asking me for my number five times a day aren’t showing me any reason to give it to them. Furthermore, you gotta understand that its also a numbers thing. If there are five guys every week trying to “wear me down” I’m going to get a little desensitized to the “charm” of persistence…ya know.
*singing* I can do magic…I’ll show you a trick or two
@whyso-Wow. I guess you’re probably right. Sometimes you fall victim to a man that has so much swagger you just give him whatever he wants…yep I know someone like that.
Ha…this is too funny. I was introduced to the term “thirsty” when I relocated to Northern KY in October. I was in a bar in Cincinnati and not only was the guy worrisome as hell, trying to get my number…he kept asking me to buy him a drink! The writer must be from this area because I’m convinced that the behavior of a thirsty ninja originated in the tri-state. These guys are desperate, broke down…trying to get their fronts off lay away before the winter…
@Nicki: AMEN to the slow dance of flirting! I’m an avid flirter! Being a southerner and a libra i’ve got a double dose of charm and love love love to do the flirtatious dance. Thirsty dudes are too anxious and trying to move too quick and it shows!
I mean, as I said, my last boyfriend was persistent. I didn’t go out with him the first few times he asked me, but he spent time in between that just talking to me and showing me who he was. Whenever he saw me, he’d engage me in a convo about just anything, or ask me about my daughter or school, or ask for my opinion on his writing…anything he could do to show me why I should let him into my life long enough to have a meal and some laughs…and THAT is what worked.
Ya me looks changed her mind. and its not the first time.
I have found that the majority of the angry black women I have dated this year are the worst offenders of not knowing what DA FUCKIN BLOODY HELL they want… or need.
I had to stay after miss alaska… the most angry bitch on the muh fukin planet….. for 3 months before she realized she wanted me.
I also feel women especially the abw’s want a challenge, and they want it for the same reason they want their channel classes and their LV bags and their MBA’s….. for the bragging rights.
See …. alaska didnt want me, until she saw me with a cuter (whiter) woman. I then somehow went from “scrub ass nigga whose just like all the rest” to a fine brotha who is a catch” and shouldnt be wasting my time with peroxide barbie……. go figure.
My first 6 months I couldnt buy a a 2nd date from a woman. My looks got me the first dates .. sure… but once they saw how jolly and loveable I was… nobody wanted a 2nd date.
now? shit, I have no prblems getting asked on dates, no problems getting 2nd dates and all the problems in the world trying to control the commitment level of the people I am going on dates with.
Swagger, confidence and “supply and demand” are the keys. I will sweat a woman I feel I deserve just as hard today as I did in January, only now shes goin to do what I want and what and let me love her, and not what her “check list” tells her to do.
This happens all the time. Especially on the metro here in the DMV. But it sucks even more because your stuck on the train with them. While they sweat you. Makes my commute that much longer to have to run off the train and try to make it to another car. But lately I’ve just gone ahead and lied and said, “Oh.. i cant give you my number. I’m married and we have 5 lovely kids at home” but you know some naggas still feel there is a glimmer of hope even with that outrageous lie.
naggas
Good Morning Folks!
Bree – would you have let your co-worker take you out, or give him your number had he not been with everyone else at the company?
I ask this because I think that if a guy appears attractive – he won’t come off thirsty, he’ll come off as persistant.
Thanks yall! Now, let me return to work and see if I have Charlie Wilson on my laptop…
Nicki- “slow dance of fliriting” I like the way you put that. However, I think the male audience (unfortunately, it should be address to those that aren’t reading) should know the difference between “slow dance” flirt and obnoxious comments.
@Bree: Yes girl… I’m a Scorpio and pretty much ooze the sexy. Once a man said he wanted to see what’s in me that makes me walk like that. (Now that was sexy!).. (and not in my pants, folks!)
I’m not tooting my own horn, but I know it’s there…. LOL. And yes girl, the charm is there too!!!!
Back to your point, flirting is fun!!!!! Girl, I love your last boyfriend’s tactic. YOU don’t have to ask everytime, sometimes a good chat is all you need to build up…. who wants to be worn down like Urkel!
Bree. I never “steped my game up” and neither did obama. We just knew what we wanted and knew what was best for all parties involved. I changed the wrapper but what was inside and how it was presented were the same….. but year she freaked out and squeeled like a hanson fan when I came in with the totally new look, thats why I did it… so u may be on to something.
Butasfar as men not knowing what they want? I disagree. If your man was complaining that women dont cater to men anymore…. its because hes right. you guys dont… as a group. now I will give the same speach about how sistas treat brothas like dirt and regard us as a pair of shoes…… Miss Alaska would have a fit if I said that to her because she does everything under the sun for me (cept buy me things)
but that dosent change that women as a whole dont “”do”
In the end, I have this to say to my american middle class single black fine brothas….
A woman has to want you but women dont know what they want.
simple as that
if you tell a man that you’re pregnant, will he back the stuff off??? I’m gonna try it. LOL
@Neonna: Thanks girl… you ain’t never lied… a damn! A oomp, a grabbing the crotch, a wow, you’ve got some nice lips….. NOT flirting. LOL.
URKEL! Nicki, that shit was ridiculous. If I were Laura I would have moved. But much like Hasani when he became Stephan Urquel she was giving it to him like he was Morris Chestnut. Yep-sometimes it’s more about how you carry yourself.
Nicki – Thanks for bringing up Urkel!
Hones in on my point – when he was steven urkel “hi laura, *snort*”, she would not give him the time of day – but when he changed into stephan urkhel, he didn’t have to say jack and she was swooning all over that man.
I think we can all agree that Steve is the epitome of THIRST.
notice brothas dont have this outlook to sistas?
I give every sista that approaches me the same shot no matter how they come off. if your cute you can have my number if you have yur head on straight, you can have my number. and if you stumble all over your words and studder,blush and make a total trainwreck out of the situation…… Ill give you my number, take your number and plan a date there on the spot!
ya I like geeky, quirky women… so shoot me
I identify more with Steve Urkel and that stephan guy…. I mean… I AM a single black geek afterall (snorts)
@Jaclynn @ Cuzzo: I’m dying over here.. did she say Stephan Urquel???? Oh my goodness…. Right yaw, the visual makes a difference in the swag makes a difference in my decision.
@Cuzzo: no…he was cocky attractive…i got the impression he only continued to ask b/c he thought “how dare she turn me down”…i can’t stand men like that. I once had a guy in a club ask me to dance and I said “no thank you” and he said “do you see me?” err..i was looking right at him…he was this light skinned dude with brown eyes, looked like a model…he was so confused as to why i’d turn him down…i can’t stand that kind of attitude
@HNIC: hey, you’re right there are a lot of women who don’t know what they want and a lot of men who don’t either. the thing is, even if you have the things they want…you still my not be the guy/girl…chemistry and timing play a part as well and when we are turned down by folks we can’t always assume it has anything to do with what we do or don’t have in the way of “the checklist”…
@Nicki: My BFF is a scorpio, chocolate sistah with locks and she is quite sexy herself! Actually, all the scorpio women I know are pretty dam.n sexy. I like to keep fly women around me, motivates me to keep my game tight, lol.
Wow, commenting on my own blog post….
Let me explain the 5 minute thing. First, you have to understand that I use a lot of arbitrary numbers in my writing (I could have easily used 3.7 minutes or 13), so that doesn’t literally mean 5 minutes, like I have a stopwatch running or something. It just means it doesn’t take long for me to figure out if I want the conversation to continue to get to know a guy better, not to “know” him or decide if I want to bear his children.
And if you liked this, I got TONS more. Check me out. *shameless self promotion over*
@Bree: Hey hey girl… thanks for the love of the Scorps!!!! I hear you on the fly girls. Same with me. They make me proud to walk in a room with them or be in a restaurant with all of them!!!!
@Bree-I’m proud. I’m not ready yet. I have to get creative on it. I tried to see yours and it wants me to give it a password.
Now I’m a Taurus with a Scorpio ascendant thingy, Comeback asked me how I’m not dead…Explanation comeback…when you get back!
@HNIC: um…no, you stepped your game up…you tried one thing, it didn’t work…so you tried something different. That’s not the same as some dude following me around the club asking me over and over again. You put in effort. As did Barack, as did my ex.
And the men not knowing what they want…why is it that you get to use the example and i don’t? I mean, here it is this dude HAD a girl (me) who would and did cater to him, he didn’t want me…he instead locked down a chic that doesn’t cook, isn’t thoughtful or consider, is ungrateful and then commences to sit in my living room complaining about there aren’t any good women who will cater to a man. Clear case of “not knowing what you want”…and at least 4 or 5 of the men i’ve dated in the past who did not appreciate me while we were dating continue to call me and tell me how they wish they had better sense back then b/c i’m exactly the type of woman they wanted and they f*cked around with a bunch of foot-draggers instead….I don’t have a problem admitting that women don’t always know what they want….I’m not sure why you have a problem admitting the same about men. Thing is, you don’t have to. I’ve dated men and I presume you haven’t and I’ve beared witness to what they told me they wanted and what they went after instead.
ohhh, the password…that’s to keep the Thirsty Ninja’s away, LMAO…I’ll repost
@Bree: Preach girl.
I’m getting a password prompt for your pics too, gal.
as Bree said, it’s not just women – some men do not know what they want also- some want more, some want less. You sir, went after a pair of legs – and that happened to work out. not always the case.
*smh* @ Kwame Kilpatrick. Negro…you are bout to go to jail and you just lost your dignity and integrity on international TV and you are standing there grinning and smiling like it ain’t shit.
ok…take two…imma need the other ladies to represent too..i’m not trying to be like HNIC and carry 6 months, LMBO
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=105108610&albumID=535293&imageID=30106591
@Bree: Go’on girl.. that was a gorgeous pic!!!!
Bree-you’re on your own here…Ain’t nothing I can do with that.
Jaclynn – word! They sentenced him? When will these politicians learn? Kwame – that Ape
hey cuzin 
bree i hate to say your wrong… but your wrong…
i didnt try one thing and then try another…
I tried the same thing ver and over and over and over….
infact… all I did was increase the amount of times I asked her by joining her classes.
I used the same stupid grin and told all the same geeky jokes which I she laugghed at but still had the same result….. a no.
its amazing how a sista will think so highly of herself and so lowly of the black man … that they will try and correct US about our own story we are telling.
amazing…. sheerly fuckin AMAZING.
@Cuzzo-Wait and they might not accept the plea and he’s already giving up so much:
Mayoral seat, law license, 1 million dollars, 4months in jail, five years probation and I expect divorce court soon.
And ain’t nothing like those apes…yep hi SBM
WTF negro can you use photoshop for a hot 2nd and at least put the MONTHS!?!!?!?
sheesh cant trust black folk to do nuttin right these days!!!!!
Why does this man, HNIC, continually try to lump all ppl together? *smh @ you* I didn’t see it as her correcting you, I saw a different perspective. I smell sensitivity. anyone else smell that?
@Cuzzo: The smell of sensitivity is like burnt popcorn….. you’d recognize it for miles.
@Cuzzo-Leave it alone. He don’t mean no harm.
@Nicki-I am saddened by this black man.
and btw – you’re black! hello! u can’t trust ureself, can u? I wouldn’t. sorry J
I wanna talk about race next thursday – if SBM picks me to share.
cuzzo: Yes I went after a pair of legs and it worked out… but guess what? We only bought Alaska on a “hunch” from russia and it paid off as ne f the smartest moves in history. Everyone makes a stand for something…. its just history looks at the victor in a more favorable light than the loser.
if I had never gotten the girl… I would be that creepy black guy who stalked a young white lady. But now I get “awwwwwws” every time I tell the story and hear “how romantic” it was and al that love at first sight stuff people play it out to be.
a simple no that night turns me into a stalker which could be a complaint filed with the college for sexual harassment and now I would be like a sex offender under megans law and never be able to get a job much less two full time jobs at major companies, and Im sittin here in my boxers talkin about how unfair life is…….
reminds me of the movie mr destiny.
how do “correct” someone on their story????????????????
its not a difference of view because she was not there…. so she dosent SEE anything to have a view about. so how do you tell ME, what happened, I was the one doing it?
am I the only person here who views that as highly insulting? if that was a dude who said that and he was standing next to me I would backhand him through a wall.
@HNIC: you didn’t try one thing and then try another? didn’t you “the last day of class I figured I wanted to try one last thing. I shaved my Osamma Bin Ladden/QuestLove beard and matching afro…. and came to class with Shoes, slacks and a polo insted of XXXL sweatpants and a played out michigan jersey” hmmm…maybe i just can’t read. I also pointed out that you PUT IN SERIOUS EFFORT…going out of your way to go to class with her. You know what…why am I arguing with you when I’m actually giving you kudos for doing it right instead. Let me make it more plain: You – showed her you were seriously interested by making extra effort. The Thirsty Ninja at the gas station – followed me through the store and to my car and asked me for my number like five times without telling me one single thing about himself or asking me anything about me. Take the compliment and hush!
oh and I’ll let SBM be in charge of choosing the months..it’s his calendar.
@the other chics on here…how ya’ll gonna leave me out on the limb by myself like that? messed up!
ooooooooo kaaaaaaaaay @ the scenario u just painted. lol. and alaska? yeeaaaa, that’s a far reach. but guess what else? – monkey balls.
A church I attend did a sermon on being pressed (read: thirsty) it was actually really good. some of the key takeaways if anyone cares:
1. overly pressed people eventually forget who they are
2. overly pressed people will ignore wise counsel
3. overly pressed people will EVENTUALLY LOWER THEIR STANDARDS!
I think this applies to a lot of people who get into shatty relationships cause they are thirsty/pressed for a man or a woman. I am thirsty and pressed for the LORD and no one else! AMEN
(climbs off soapbox) ….
@Jolie: I’m taking that, “naggas”…it sounds just the way i like to say w/o coming off as offensive when written…kind of like “shat”(shout out to Mikki)
@Bree: cute pic…not my favorite one of you b/c i don’t think it does you any real justice….how about this one:
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=371255148&albumID=730566&imageID=10738779
Bree – I don’t have any pictures like that. lol. sorry.
I want to submit for the calendar but I don’t have any sexy photos…oh well, check me out in a month. I’m going hard, my trainer is soooo proud as am I!!!
@ jolie – mmm hmmm hmmm *fans* passing the church fans to the left.
@Bree and Teacia-I like corset pic for January. And Comeback’s red pic for Valentine’s day…alright let me go see if I can find something for April…nah j/k
Teacia-I know you got a pic you wanna use….Nicki?
SAME effort… different package…. same approach…… same man…. same determination…..
thats not stepping your game up…. do you even know what game is????
I took coke put sold if from the same vending machine, charged the same price, kept the same flavor and the same lable but changed the color from brown to clear..
I didnt go out and invent Pepsi .. THAT would be steping your game up.
but then again what would I know… Im just a stupid large brutish black man right?
@Bree: OKKK on the red dress. that was hot girl!!!! I don’t have any sexy pics… LOL. Just regular ones.
@Jolie: Let the chuuch say amen.
bree….
wow. nice pic. Respect.
@Jaclynn: I’m sitting up here looking at my myspace pics… all are goofy. LOL. I’m a goofy picture taker….
Yall negros stop usin pics you already have taken as “calendar pics”
lol go grab your camera and take a pic and photoshop it with the months!!
lazy black folk I swear!!
Umm I am not competing with Bree I aint got NOTHING like that lol
props
put me in the Disney calendar or somethin
if I may put 50 cents in the vending machine *ahem* – coke please.
I’m not trying to convince you to change your mind about your story – or correct you mr. black man but here’s how I see it – walk with me, if you please – I don’t know what was going on through her mind on that last day but I would view the different package as a different side of the man, and different determination. How you say? I’m glad you asked.
Different man – you were no longer looking scruffy with sweat pants and a hairy face. Different determination because you cleaned up for her. You did not invernt the wheel – you re-invented it – in my opinion. (may I have an opinion, also?)
et Voila
@ all – is this how you talk to sensitive ppl? I’m not good at it.
SBM – how do you give someone a virtual slap on here?
@ all – has anyone else reached the point of – if this negro says something about black people one more time!!!
I guess I could use this one, but this mess ain’t professional at all…and it’s kind of cut off…man, where did all my sexy go…gotta get it back and ASAP!!
…nope change my mind..sorry folks, nothing to see here.
@Cuzzo: YES GIRL!!!!! I’m so so ti’ed (as they said on Kangs of Comedy)
lol Teacia – I already saw – neener neener neener.
…so my goal was to remove the link from my name, but i just realized that apparently my work computer still has it….geez. gotta start cleaning up my act if i’m going to run for office in a few years.
@Teacia: I”m crackin up. LOL. Please don’t be Kwame. LOL. By the time, I clicked on your name you had it off. HA!!!!
lol Nicki. I need to be doing some work. This fool gone get my presha up.
@Cuzzo: yeah well…lol.
@HNIC: fool, i’m at work! and stop arguing with me when i’m trying to give u kudos, dam.n
Dude…all i’m saying is the difference between what you did and what THIRSTY NEGROS do is EFFORT. and whether you re-packaged it or changed the formula…you STILL DID SOMETHING DIFFERENT…tried a different angle…a different look…don’t argue with me about symantics…what you did is different than say, riding a train with a girl asking for her number, she says no, you say “please” she says “no” you say “you sure?”…your scenario: better game, train scenario: stupid
@cuzzo-told ya
@Cuzzo: I used to be the same way…. now it’s just like a bratty little brother screaming for my attention. I ignore it and hope it goes away.
@Bree: WOOOSAAAAHHH!
SBM – can we make this like Real World and kick somebody out the house? I’m calling a house meeting.
@Nikki: well my profile is public anyway and you can see one of my albums, the others are set to friends only…of course you can see the pics of me…remember i’m kind of vain…well not feeling that way much these days…could be that i’m getting fat and that mess don’t sit well with me…at 152 i’m at my biggest weight ever w/o being preggers…but that ends today!!!
Wow, commenting on my own blog post….
Let me explain the 5 minute thing. First, you have to understand that I use a lot of arbitrary numbers in my writing (I could have easily used 3.7 minutes or 13), so that doesn’t literally mean 5 minutes, like I have a stopwatch running or something. It just means it doesn’t take long for me to figure out if I want the conversation to continue to get to know a guy better, not to “know” him or decide if I want to bear his children.
And if you liked this, I got TONS more. Check me out. *shameless self promotion over*
And nobody knows what the f*ck they want. Men included. Unfortunate side effect of being human. But that’s going to go in another post (on my blog).
@Cuzzo: he’s not kicking Hasani out…if he didn’t do it for me after he clld me some ungodly things, then he’s definitely not going to do it at all…sorry chic but hey, that’s your fam. besides Sani is like the crazy uncle that we keeped locked up in the basement and we’re stuck with him…it usually does help when we ignore him though, he chills out when he realizes that no one is responding.
@Bree: Girl you are a complete doll. And very photogenic. I’m jealous!!!! It takes mucho effort for me to take a hot pic… I mean quadruple takes… cute in person but the pics are retarded. LOL
Did Teacia say that crazy uncle???? OH MY GOODNESS I am not ready… I’m trying not to laugh out loud.. the construction workers done already make the comment that all I do is laugh all day….
@Breelicious
“i’m not sure if you’re agreeing or disagreeing with me”
I know I’m late but I was agreeing with you.
I meant Teacia on that first one. Sorry girl.
cuzzo.. you summed it up perfectly… when you said “I dont know,.,,,,” your right you dont… didnt and until I tell you you never will.
you can try to spin this 15 different ways like a republican would… but you cant skirt the simple fact that you… who dont know me and have never met me …. tried to interject and tell ME how and what I was doing and thinking in a situation that happened 11 years ago.
Now we can talk about other issues and you can try and skirt the issue by sayin “oh your being overly sensetive” or “sheesh this nigga is crazy” or even use the old school out and say “om he dates WHITE WOMEN!!!!!”….. but thats not gonna change things.
Now I may be a tad over analytical in saying its a lack of respect between black males and females (which is more one sided)… sure. but you can draw relevance…. hell this whole blog post today draws relevance. Men approach women and are determined…. they are put down and called simps and thirsty. good sistas step to us and we dont have any bad words about them. and I dont think any black man on this blog would be so utterly fucking stupid as to try to correct one of you sistas about an experience you had in your own life. that takes a serious degree of disregard and new heights of niggerish stupidity if we did.
but then again what the fuck do I know? Im just some big dumb black guy.
Womp. womp, wahhhhhhh. Good Grief.
maybe it was unfair to post a professional pick i’ll find one that was taken on a regular camera with no professional lighting aiding me, lmao
@Teacia: shuttup, u still sexy! Hey, I’m sending out the evites for my bday…r u coming up for the Classic?
@Bree: Do you girl.. if you have a professonal sexy pic??? Who the hell cares? It was a good pic.
@Teacia: Sorry I got you girls mixed up.. you are the myspace pic. so that comment was for you.
See what happens, when you blog, email, text and WORK??? Good grief..
Oh… calling me “fool” gosh thats such a great way to start an intelligent conversation…. how very un stereotypical of a comeback to a disagreement……..
any other sane person notice how the people always claim they are being stereotyped and “lumped” into a category…. and then are actually dumb enough to fall into those very same stereotypes?
its utterly fucking amazing.
but once again what would I know? Im just some big dumb black guy right?
Wow my mayor KK has resigned and the Cheif of Police resigned right after. I wonder why she did that.
YES HELL YES!!
ITS A CELEBRATE!!
now i can run for mayor
Teacia – sometimes u have to cuss your uncle out…and hit him with the broom to get him back in the basement. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and delusions of grandure – um, that crazy uncle.
(Sorry for the duplicate comment….crackberry issues)
@HNIC: I would characterize your actions as persistent. It took effort and wasn’t just that rapid fire, high pressure sales tactic that occurs in a short period of time. There is a difference. I don’t want anyone to think I’m knocking persistence…its that thirsy shit that I can’t stand.
@Mikki
“ITS A CELEBRATE!!
now i can run for mayor”
lol. Yeah and when you win we can all “its a celebrate”.
mikki…
You’ll have to get through me first muahahaha. BRING IT!!!
just like sometimes I have had to slap the shit out of a woman who steps across the line and forgets where she is at. its how I got miss alaska back in line. sometimes a sista can get so angry and ignorant she forgets where she is and who she is talking to….. and may need a little reminder that we are all equals….. except for in size.
food for thought
he is gonna be flippin burgers at burger king
lmao why so
dang Kwame. Makes me wonder what did Bill Clinton do wrong? I still don’t get it. Ok. Kwame used security for his little flings and used the goverment issued cell phone for the illicit texts. Bill – got some head?
Kwame is a jack ass and I think no matter what we are going to get judged a little tougher.. this fool gave them a reason.
Thirst is relative! C’mon now! Some chicks get all annoyed and claim thirst if a dude is friendly for 5 minutes, or holds a door open and gives a compliment. Think about this though…what if men were not thirsty at all? If dudes didn’t ask you “what yo number is?” or grab you when walking down the strip on South Beach? I’m willing to bet some people would miss that if it stopped happening, and then start wondering what’s wrong with themselves.lol.
Teacia – I’m still going to try to persuade him – uncle gets no love from anyone, not even SBM.
@HNIC…once again you’re being overly sensitive…the “fool” comment was me laughing WITH YOU about your comment saying we need to take some new pictures and do stuff on photoshop…
I realize it was intertwined with some of my other comments so, i’ll make it plain so there’s no room for you to misconstrue and therefore do what you LOOOVE to do, incite arguments between yourself and black women to further use in your campaign against us:
HNIC Says: Yall negros stop usin pics you already have taken as “calendar pics”
lol go grab your camera and take a pic and photoshop it with the months!!
lazy black folk I swear!!
Breelicious Says: Fool, I’m at work!
I’m going to go back to doing what I used to do and that’s ignore you…cuz clearly I can’t laugh at something funny you say without being attacked, nor can I give you kudos above most of the guys I encounter without being met with debate, argument, and your constantly underlying anger.
@Mikki-I don’t think so…I’m thinking that he’ll just start his own company that seems to be the norm.
@Cuzzo-Kwame had them people outside the damned room while he was getting it on. Make no damned sense. Then texted about it on the city’s phone I mean come the f#ck on … (a phrase from one of his bros) hell he coulda learned from them I know a bunch of phrases that would fit this situation!
@Cuzzo: he had 2 policemen fired to cover up his affair, the sued the city and won major settlements…that’s what he did wrong.
Bill just got a shiner…lol.
my time would be better spent getting my virtual flirt on with Anti…HAAAAAYYY!! HOW U DOIN! LMAO.
maybe i can get my job down at the city county building
I hadn’t heard anyone use “thirsty” to describe this type of situation, but I will make note of it for the future.
Cuzzo-Happy Belated Birthday.
Anesidora : yeah gurl it was persistance. but when does that long term determination start and the “this thirsty nigga is borhtering me” begin?
I was shot down over 30 times askin the same woman out… that would have given her more than enough ammo for sexual misconduct and have me in a jail cell. she said no to her future for 6 months and even when she said yes she was only doing it as a fling…..
thats one hell of a fling eh?
so no… women dont know what they want more of the time. god created us to compliment eachother. men would destroy eachother if not for the compassion of woman…. or if we are talkin about the black community… the black man would destry his life if not for the resolve of the black woman. its a yin and yang thing…. but trust me it works out in the end.
@Slim…I don’t think anyone is dissenting at a man asking for our number…it’s someone persisting on a regular basis when the answer was at first no. And I’m not even saying there’s much wrong with that, in some cases it works…but you have to understand that as a woman, there isn’t just one man doing that to us at any given time, there are usually a few…it gets old quick.
um…i’m ashamed to say that Kwame went to FAMU…and sorry SBM I believe he’s an Alpha too.
@Cuzzo & Nicki Sunshine – The problem people have with him is not the affair. Its that he lied under oath and used city money to cover his ass. When this went to court last year it was 4-5 years old. He could have told the truth and went about his business. Or when this got out in the open he should have resigned and laid low. He has a lot of personality but no street knowledge. He was arrogant and didnt stay in his line.
@Cuzzo: it’s not happening…he’s been around too long…I think SBM is attached…oh yeah and a p*ssy…lol.
@Nikki: Thanks chic…I try…still not feeling all that grand these days.
@Bree: Yes mam I will be there in full effect, gotta find a spot to stay though since your house is full *sighing*. You know EKS stay with her man in a 1BR and that’s a no go…lol. Maybe Nile will let me stay with him…oh wait that negro just got a girlfriend, and she is none to fond of me…he he he. Oh well, I know hella folks in the A’, I’m sure I’ll come up with something.
please do that Bree – too blessed to be stressed is the motto!
Teacia – Bill must be scratchin his head over that one everyday like wtf. lol
whoa whoa whoa…did i just read that someone slapped a woman to “keep them in place”
I won’t have you doin that. I won’t stand for it around me. If you did it, keep it to your cotdamn self, or better yet, find someone your size to box with and control. I’m sure that offended a lot of people, i think apologies are in order
im so serious…..
@Slim: For me, thirst is persistance when I’m not giving you any clue or I’ve already told you no….. Not the things that you mentioned.
he had to turn in his law license too? what kinda biz he goin start strip club?
Bree: I can be overly sensitive… so your right bitch, I totally over-reacted when you called me FOOL.
oh …. I meant that in a totally endearing way
@all the women
What is the difference b/w being thirsty and persistant. If a woman tells me no I accept it as no and move on.
@Teacia: Honey, sexy is in all packages.. don’t worry about it… I know I’ve put all since my young girl bone skinny days… and I love my grown woman meet (no more no body jokes. LOL!)
@whysoserious: Thank you brotha….. That was very chivarlous (ooh spell check), stepping up for the ladies.
THANK U Shelia *hugs*
THANK YOU WHY SO!!!!!
Humble – I do think Kwame was wrong – just made me ponder what was that big deal about Bill?
Bree – Yea, Kwame is an APE.
Oh wow… The B word?? Wow… can we get this one outta here folks?
*long gasp*
…you see this fool done gone and lost his mind…yeah well, welcome to SBM.net folks!
@Cuzzo: not stressed, more like baffled, lmao
and i’m sorry, asking someone out over 30 times is a bit demeaning, you gotta have a little moe self-esteem…but i’m glad it worked out for him…i loves a happy ending! ****sigh***
men… in the end. if you think the woman is worth it… o after her. if she is not, then do as you please knowing sistas are talkin about you like THIS behind closed doors.
or you could be a complete asshole like me and be nice to women… and when they think they are greater than they actually are you become a vindictive bastard and treat them like a goddess until they sleep with you… at which time you play them the fuck out and keep it moving with your pride intact a sinister grin on your face.
Ive done it before, doin it now and will continue to do it forever and always.
@Humble: I think it will come after being observant… say, take the guy in the video… he kept asking the girl questions and getting in her face when she was giving him no good vibes… answer questions with a simple one word answer, flat tone, not asking any questions back… That’s the kind of thing that you should walk away from.
I’ve never had a guy win me with persisitance so I can’t speak on that one… help ladies of SBM…
@HNIC
WTF. Where I come from using that word will get you plugged. That was totally uncalled for.
Why So – have u ever heard the term internet thug? I think ppl read that and went on the wish factor – I wish a negro would…then filed it to the back. can’t be stressing over one negro’s problems – it’s not even his blog.
I’m just over here staring at the screen….I do not believe it as I live and breathe.
To call a woman a b#tch is completely and utterly uncalled for is totally inappropriate and disrespectful. Every time someone disagrees we have to deal with foolishness.
@Jaclynn; But it seems to be foolishness from one party.. what the hell????
Humble asked @all the women
What is the difference b/w being thirsty and persistant. If a woman tells me no I accept it as no and move on.
how hot you are.
give an ugly fat nigga a textbook perfect speach to say to a woman and she will still diss him.
give a hot brotha with swagger, balls and money the same text he can read it word for word and she keels over with her legs spread.
but thats just a theory and Im a big dumb nigga so I dunno.
Id love the answer as well cuz I feel the way I have gone after the woman in the story above matches the guy in the video….. cept that Im hot.
@Humble: Thanks for speaking up hon. That was ridiculous.
It’s lunchtime in Philly and I’ve got a hankering for some wonton soup.
@ Humble – and this guy is supposed to the old head in here. *smh* just indignant – this is SBM not ABM (angry just angry)
To call a man a F00l is completely and utterly uncalled for is totally inappropriate and disrespectful. Every time someone disagrees we have to deal with foolishness.
Humble: where u come from niggas slap a chick in her mouth for disrespecting too… but if anyone has a real problem and a real gun then can come see me. Im at the princeton boxing gym most every day…. we can talk about it there.
Guys…I’m here to tell you Hasani is a coward. He’s mentioned before that he could never say those things to us in person. He lumps us, groups up and calls us disrespecting names at every turn…but he’s here to stay. He’s been blocked once, only lasted for about 2 days, as if he was even missed, but needless to say he was eventually unblocked.
So here’s the thing, this blog post today is about him…that negro is thirsty…he’s thirsty for attention. He can NEVER get it outside of here from “american born black women” so he comes to the one place where he can…SBM.net. When he gets angry, he does the one thing he can’t do in person, “confront us.”
I can’t believe you guys are still even shocked by his words and tactics.
So I’m going to plead with you guys to not even mind the foolishness…consider the source ladies…and gentlemen and just ignore him altogether.
Teacia – uh uh girrrrrllll. some changes bout to come up in here. I’m gone get my cuzin on you lol
@Teacia: Very well put. Maybe if we ignore him, he will get bored and just stop showing up… like those people that knock on your doors… (I Don’t mean to offend any JDubs in the room..)
@Cuzzo: he has called us bitches, whores, cumdumsters, prostitutes, fat, and just about everything else you can think of…ain’t shit changing…don’t believe the hype. I love SBM to death, but that negro can’t spell change.
Tea – as much as you try to ignore – ya still see it – why should I have to see that garbage, if someone can change all that? we can’t just keep letting ppl say whatever about us
@Nicki Sunshine – I understand where you are coming from. That is where I stand. I just dont get why you would want somebody to keep pressing you. Unless thats how you get your jollies.
for real tho Tea – *smh @ SBM*
@Cuzzo: believe me that was my argument was well, but it is what it is…it’s an ugly world out here and we have to deal with the good, bad and indifferent. no need to get your panties all in a bunch over one guy…one guy who continues to prove to us just how ignant he is. he’s not worth the energy.
***tip toeing out the door***
alright people – back to business – one monkey don’t spoil no show!
have any guys experienced thirsty women?
*snatched Comeback* lol, ure name is come back for pete’s sake, so come back
I know it sounds like I’m bashing SBM but I’m not. He loves this site, and has worked tirelessly to build it to what it is today but…
…I don’t know…I think I’ve said enough about the matter for one day.
Hasani is loco en la cabesa. Period.
I think EVERYONE on here can agree that in post #127 (to which you repsonded “bitch”) I made it clear that the word was used in context of laughter at something you said that was humorous.
Let me find out that the one dude on here who is constantly talking about morals and black women being so angry calls the woman a bitch who was
1. laughing at his humor (which I thought men liked)
and
2. gave him kudos for putting in effort to get the girl (i thought men like kudos)
Lawd Jesus, why am I talking to you? My last and final comment directed towards you…you want to incite all of us to be angry black women so you can continue to justify your love for white girls b/c you’re not self-assured enough to say “I just happen to like them”. You want us to fit into this box of Black Goo that you’ve designed and pull out anytime you’re feeling guilty about your own personal decisions. I’m so sorry and as much as I would love to be that anti-Christ of a black woman that you need so you can feel okay with your life (b/c in the end I want EVERYONE to be happy, especially my black brothas), I can’t possibly be any of those things you so willingly love to insinuate blatantly or under veil that we are. I’m not angry, I’m not unsupportive, I’m not unhappy, I’m not rolling my neck or puttin folks in place, I don’t yell or scream or curse people out, I don’t demean black men, I’m not a bad mother, I’m not immoral, I’m not cynical, and I’m certainly not a bitch. I’m so sorry I can’t be one for you homie…God made me this way, and said “it was good”.
anyhooo…back to my virtual flirting..Anti, where you at?
@Teacia-That’s why I love you
@Humble&Whyso-Thanks for stepping up….Black Man’s Appreciation Day will be good for you because are both great men.
Teacia: Why the hate? are you “tryin to check this nigga” yet again???
yes lets review.
I told a story…. a sista thought it her place to tell me how the story SHOULD have ended so it went in line with HER views.
I told her no… my story is my story because I lived it.
I get called a fool
I complain about getting called a fool and view it as disrespect.
But I am told I was called a fooll in a GOOD way… so its all good and go along with it… thus callin my new friend a bitch.
somehow when I correct actions I am a bad person….
they say noboy wants to hear what the black man has to say but then they want to correct you and vilify you when you say something. you cant tell a story without being corrected… and you are made out to be an anti christ for using COPY and PASTE to recite a womans own words back at her…… its utterly amazing.
and NO…. I havent caled all black women… bitches whores and cumdumpsters. I have to point out one last time Teacia… you are NOT all black women. I would tell you off… but you would prob whine when I do tell you off to the moderator…. just like you admitted to doing above… and you will thus strain our friendship. So I will save the texting and just tell you to have a nice day since we both know all the things I would already say to ya
LoL @ Comeback!
Bree… hey gurl… I said I was lauhing WITH you too… why are you being so SENSITIVE about words?
gosh golly I thouht we moved past that little thing… Im laughing… why arent you all of the sudden???
@Cuzzo
“have any guys experienced thirsty women?”
Yes I have. A few times. N***as thought it was funny. I thought it was embarassing and didnt like it. I am shy so that didnt help either.
Teacia – you said it so well. Sometimes the best thing to do is ignore; although at times it’s hard to ignore and just have to say something.
@Shelia-You’re right. Disrespect is hard to ignore. Ignorance even harder.
Hasani: Cute. I’ll continue to be all that and more…and remember that the next time you’re jacking off to my picture.
But I have no hate for you Sani baby…I have nothing but love for you.
…oh and trust that SBM isn’t going to hear one complaint from me and hasn’t in a minute…my skin has grown thicker thanks to you “boo”…i’m ready for what this dirty and nasty world has in store for me.
So I guess I owe you my gratitude, I wouldn’t be the best me that I could be if cumdumster, whore, bitch, tramp, prostitute, slut…did I miss anything…didn’t fall from your lips and grace my heart.
Oh well ya know…such is life…and i’m keeping it moving.
Thanks again Sani baby, you bring my world such joy.
@Bree: Hey baby. Flirt away.
Meetings all day but I just have one thing to say:
It’s time for “Daily Advice from a Pimp”. Here’s an excerpt from the Mack (aka Goldie’s Story):
Pretty Toni: “You stole my ho, Goldie!”
Goldie: “Yo b*tch chose me”
The moral of the story is: It’s a woman’s right to choose…playas find out ASAP if she chose you – otherwise kick rocks.
@Cuzzo…I have a lot of guy friends and I’ve witnessed a lot of thirsty women (and may have portrayed one in real life on occasion, lol)…it ain’t pretty…for us, it’s called desperate, we don’t get a cute term for it cuz we ain’t supposed to be chasing dudes in the first place. LOL
Which brings me to a question I’ve been meaning to ask. SBM, sorry for changing the subject but after having been the overall peacekeeper since joining the site and today being called a bitch, i think I deserve the right to just do as I please today.
So…on to the question. I met this guy a few weeks back. I stopped by to look at houses and he was the agent. I remembered him from somewhere and while we were talking I realized I remembered him from the gym I used to go to last year. I mean, I even remembered what I saw him working out in (which isn’t that big a deal, I have a ridiculous memory, I remember what my daughter’s father had on the first time we met). But anyway, he showed me a few houses and we had a generally good convo throughout the time I was there but neither of us took it there, honestly I was in the middle of trying to buy a car and had stopped to kill some time (i love looking at houses) so I might’ve missed any flirtations. He’s been on my mind a lot since then…and I’m thinking about going back by there to ask him out. But lately I’ve been on this whole “wanting to be courted/chased” type thing and I feel like the way relationships start have a bearing on how they will play out and I don’t want to be constantly chasing him. So, who thinks I should go ask him out?
LMAO @ Tea callin him “boo” – i like u.
@Humble: I’m cracking up at your use of the world Jollies. *smile*
@Bree: Feel free to holla at him and give him signals…as long as it doesn’t interfere with our harmless flirting.
@Teacia…if u talk to him, he won’t go away! Govern yourself accordingly, LMAO
@Teacia-Girl sometimes you be tearing it up.
@Nicki-I know right
@Cuzzo-U’re so funny!
@Bree-Girl, go for it!
@Anti: aww thanks for signing my permission slip suga…you so good to me
brb, gonna run to the kitchen and get your grits started, LMAO
@Breelicious – Stop p**sy footing and go get that dude. IMHO a women waiting for something she wants makes no since. If you are interested in him go get him.
Bree – go back. what’s the worst that can happen?
peeps – I wouldn’t exactly call it thirsty maybe a bit parched
– but every time I speak to my exBF (not often btw) I allude to us getting back together – which ain’t happening. we dated in college when I really didn’t know what I needed (not wanted) – and he don’t wanna hear it. It’s just funny to me to make him a little uncomfortable with the thought.
..ummm…i don’t know what IMHO stands for?
@Bree: I’m feeling mighty balanced today…delicate yet sure, and I needed to let him know that there’s no love lost. I understand his place in my life and I welcome it with open arms. It’s like everything is becoming clearer to me…I know my path, and every person shoulders a responsibility on that journey. Hasani is just playing his part, and for that I’m grateful.
@Jaclynn: I do what I can.
@Cuzzo: I like you too chic, you can hold your own…gotta be able to do that around here.
@SBM: following your twitter feed, sorry about the possible ulcer…you want mommy to fly up there, kiss it and make it all better.
oh no… not MORE disrespect from a woman… what ever shal I do?
yes its your od given right and duty to “check dis nigga”
I mean, we wouldnt want those black men gettin out of hand and having free will or anything right?
Teacia. if you want to listen to me on a soapbox about what we are missin in our black homes and whats wrong with our youth today… and you want to work TOWARDS changing…. Ill be glad to help. for someone who has nothing but “love” for me I see that as a problem… cuz if the way you talk to and regard me is your types version of black love…. then SHEEEET… we got a problem. ROFL.
yo bree. I can give you same advice as the dudes. if you think the brotha is worth it… go for it. nly heres the kicker. Black men dont talk about black women as bad as black women talk about black men (as evident on this blog once again)
I have spoken this past 12 months about various dates I have been on. I dont think you can find a single post where I spoke ill of a black woman for comming up to me, and I dont think you will find one of me talkin illl andblowing a sista off about her being “desperate”
either.
yal gotta stop usin so much EGO and pride in this dating thing… its actually the #1 problem in black love today… I would go into it… but yall dont wanna hear about what your doing wrong and I will…. Im just a big dumb niugga my opinion dont matter anyways
i would ike to point out thouogh, for a sista who said once she dosent care what other people think about her….. you sure do care about your pride takin a brusing over something as simple as asking a man out?
Bree: In my honest opinion.
@Bree: Oh my! A woman in the kitchen…i don’t mind lending a helping hand and I’d be happy to clean up. If the grits are really GOOD I just might have to lick the plate.
Bree: you know me, i say indulge…be bold, did u get his card, maybe u should call ahead to make sure he is single…the horoscope suggests we do something bold this week in search of romance. apparently the next 3 weeks is a smoldering love fest for us…but even w/o the horoscope garble…i still would have said indulge…but i’m sure you already knew that.
Licking the plate? Bree you better make sure they good grits…and he offered to clean! Makes my heart smile!
@Anti: TRUST..the grits are very good.
@Cuzzo: I planned on going back by on Saturday and pulling out the Bold Bree. True story: I was on campus and saw this guy, now everytime I see him, he’s staring at me but he never says anything. On this particular day I had walked by him like 3 times on my way back and forth somewhere and each time he would watch me walk. I finally walked up to him and said “what’s wrong with you?” he said “excuse me” I said “i’m just wondering why you haven’t asked me out, you seem to like looking at me I figured you’d want to do so across the table at dinner”…he was CRAZY about be from then on b/c I was so bold…so trust, I ain’t never scerred. I’m just in the mood to be courted (plus I wanted to change the subject). You guys be sure to ask me about it on Monday.
@Bree: There’s nothing wrong with making the first move… I looked up my first boyfriend on myspace… we’ve been talkin/texting ever since….. I’m going to see him in VA at the end of the month.
While I’ve never out and out asked for a number (I don’t know how bold you are) I am DEFINITELY for placing myself in the right situation. “conveniently.”
We need some more Cream of Wheat love on this blog.
@Humble-Since we have some Cream of Wheat I’m going right in there to make you some. Do you like yours with anything in it? Syrup? Salt? Sugar? What? AND you know how I love grits BUT I’ll eat 2-3 bites with you!
@Humble and Jaclynn: I loves the cream of wheat… hate grits. LOL
MALT O MEAL IN THE HIZZOUSE!!
llets be honest… women are the complex ones. men r simple
you keep any sane man well fed, sexually spent and make him “think” he is the shit and his word matters….
you have landed yourself a man. i dont care who you are or what you look like.. any black man will eventually fall for any woman of any skin color who does those 3 things for him.
both abw’s I am dating landed me because they stoped doing the things ABW’s do. Alaska is the most angry sista on the planet and I want to drag her by her hair somdays… but she makes me feel like a king when she is happy, fucks the hell out of me and always cooks for me. we are that simple as men.
but women….. oh we need an unabridged dictionary thickness type manual on how to deal with them… sheesh. we couldnt even get all you middle class black women to agree on what a woman wants/nneeds… so we will never figure it out for all women,
@Teacia: smoldering love fest, huh? Hmm, it’s about three weeks till my bday…*sigh* turning 30 is gonna be GGGRRRRREEEAAAT! LMAO
Oh, BTW, you can stay in my house just know that you might be on the couch or an air mattress in the living room, unless you don’t mind sleeping in my bed, I don’t sleep wild but I do have the tendancy of subconsciously trying to spoon in my sleep with whomever I’m in bed with so…LMAO (fellas get your heads outta the gutter!). And if things go as planned, I won’t be sleeping at home so…you could have it all to yourself. LOL
Mikki you are gonna have to tell me what that is!!!!
@Jaclynn – I prefer butter and sugar. Occaisionally I will throw in strawberries too.
@Nicki Sunshine – you have good taste buds
Nicki: You know what they say…pose to be chose…well at least it’s what I say. Bree’s a bit bolder than I am, but I do put myself in a position to be courted.
My two friends and I went out Sunday night, the club was packed and they weren’t letting anyone else in so we were standing outside. An ex of mine walked by with his friend so we all chatted, well this one dude came out of the club and my girl nearly fainted…lol. He dapped up my ex and smiled a smile of a million chesires….anywhoo she was feeling him, so as the 3 of us was walking back to my car to head over to another spot we saw him and his boys standing on the side of the walk area…so i ran up with one friend(i was trailing…as always) and told the one who was smitten to slow down and trail us a bit. sure enough he said something to her and they exchanged numbers.
Ladies you gotta separate yourselves from the pack and put yourself in position to be chosen…my girl was like how did you know that he would stop me. I told you were in back, and let’s face it you’re a hottie…he would have been dumb not to…but in honesty I read his signals when she wasn’t looking and posed her for the picking.
…man Bree I thought we were supposed to be writing that book…The Art of Seduction: Part Deaux
@Nicki: my level of boldness just depends on my mood…i’m a big fan of “conveniently” placing myself though…it’s part of the dance…and I love the dance.
hey, where is Ms. D today?
@Humble-Gotcha! I’m on it. Loves me some strawberries but I’ll give you a few.
@Bree-Yeah where she at?
@Teacia-Your devil on my shoulder didn’t help last night!
***moon walking through the back door…and the kitchen*** Ok. let me read.
@Mikki – I use to eat Malt-O-Meal. Not by choice. Still not better than Cream of Wheat.
@Bree: I loves a sleepover…move over girl I don’t do couches.
And Ms. D is in class.
@Humble: I’m sure you’ll find plenty of women on here who would enjoy your cream….of wheat that is.
bree
fortune favors the bold.
@Bree: Amen on the dancing.
@Humble: Thanks man. So do you.
@Teacia; High five on that play you ran to your girlfriend. Yes girl… sometimes they are intimidated by numbers so you’ve just gotta fall back a bit. Yes, ma’am!
man my grammar is all over the place today. *sigh*…gots to do better.
@Nicki Sunshine & Teacia – Both of you are right on with your tactics. Women can get the man they want without actually being upfront with it.
@why so: I love how u just come on here and drop one line knowledge like confucious! Point noted…I’ll tell you how it works out and what I did. I may even get a secret lapel pin camera so you folks can see me in action…hahaha!
@Humble: Thanks darlin!
Humble see you gotta try the brown sugar kind, it smells up a room like nobodies business and with some bacon on the side omg!!
my momma would always hook it up for me and my bro but its a rare find, sometimes you can get it at save a lot
Nicki its kinda like cream of wheat but in my opinion better (the brown sugar version)
Damn, ya’ll start commenting early. About the post… I totally agree I see this all the time in the club or at parties. Most of the time I laugh at the dude. My friends tend to be the ones that will give fake numbers or b/s the guy to avoid saying they don’t want to deal with him. I on the other will just tell them in a nice way I am not interested.
It’s like the post said, we know within the first 5mins if you want to deal with a guy, based on his approach. We don’t need to be convinced on what we like. If the guy feels like he is just that great and the she is missing out, then move on to someone who will appreciate you.
Let me try to catch up with all this comments while I am at my so-called job. Man these on-campus jobs are so easy. To bad they don’t pay enough…
…oooooh Anti…Bree is starting to fall for Why So…lol.
Hey wait…take your filthy hands off of him…i’ve already confessed my undying love to why so on several occasions…and yes i’m being greedy…and what, lol.
@Mikki: I’m gonna have to try it…. I love new stuff.
Heeeeey Ms. D…gurl you missed the most today…lol.
Love you Sani baby…decided to send a few positive vibes your way again, one can never have enough.
@Teacia-Do you know more about the inaugural stuff? I am forcing my fam and friends to go.
lol Nicki i dunno if you want to be experimenting with it lol, i grew up on malt o meal and my mom made it some special kinda way, if you got skills go for it. she put condensed milk in it and sugar and butter
and actually i think she cooked it with milk instead of water.
hey Ms. D – didya hold it down yesterday or did the poisonous scorpios get to u?
@Teacia – I just caught your cream of wheat comment. You’re mad funny.
@all the women – Only Nicki has answered my question so I will ask again.
What is the difference b/w being thirsty and persistant? If a woman tells me no I accept it as no and move on.
Teacia – if you keep talking to uncle fester, we’re gonna put u in the basement with him.
@HNIC – thanks for the advice but I didn’t get an apology from you (as you got from me for calling you ignorant) so I’d be happy to let by-gons (sp?) apologize for using an unsavory term to describe me. And let me point out to you that JUST YESTERDAY the word “fool” was used in reference to you based on your humor on more than one occassion and you didn’t flick off, nor did you indicate any discontent with use of the word in even an endearing manner…not sure y u decided to today…perhaps you really are bipolar. And for the record b*tch > fool…
Teacia says:
September 3rd, 2008 at 2:48 pm
LMAO!!!! OH HELL TO THE MUTHAFUGGIN NAAAAAW!!!
OMG, that was too much…Hasani you are a damn fool!…man and I had given up cursing and was doing pretty good, but that shit ryt there nigga, that shit ryt there…..lol.
Breelicious says:
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:45 pm
@HNIC: i haven’t seen any of these pics…but you is a fool! HAHAH I’m scared to open them up @ work.
@Teacia…if I were you I’d keep those positive vibes…I’ve sent them in that direction before and I keep getting them back all dirtied up!
@Cuzzo…I’m’ sorry, that’s my last time talking to him too…I PROMISE!!!
@everyone else…dammit I haven’t done any work today! I’m putting myself on timeout until at least 3:30…you won’t hear from me before then…I hope I don’t come back to a messy house! LOL
Jaclynn: It’s a seminar type deal, and it’s kind of expensive. I’m doing the program because of my career choice, but I’m sure you can just book a room in DC surrounding that day and just get tickets for the main event. But if you interested in what I’m referring to here’s the info:
The Presidential Inauguration Seminar at The Washington Center January 10-20, 2009, a special seminar on the new presidential administration and the impact of the media on American politics. http://www.campaign2008.info/ Cost $1,995 includes housing.
Humble – I made the point earlier that I think the guys looks plays a big role in the difference. note the Steve Urkel/Stephan Urquel complex.
Humble thirsty is described in the video (still laughing) I gotta watch that again so i can laugh some more…….
what was i sayin?
oh yes, persistent is when OVER an extended period of time the guy keeps trying and the woman eventually gives in, this tactic doesn’t work if your doing it like the video but if you see her everyday at lunch time, and you speak or offer to buy her coffee over time she will be like hmmm maybe i should??
if you try this in a club its just down right annoying and will almost never work (if your fine as hell it works for me tho)
@Cuzzo: Yeah I held out. By the time my day ended, I just played a little Luther Vandross and vibe out mainly. I was to tired to think about being horny.
@ Teacia: Heeeeyyyy Chic! Yeah I see I am about to catch up now.
@Cuzzo – So if you feel him physically he shouldn’t have to be persistant correct?
@Humble: for me the difference in thirsy and persistant is a little fuzzy but i’ll try an example
Persistent: what my ex-boyfriend did See comment #35
Thirsty: met this guy on the way to work, gave him my email address, he emailed me i emailed back, he high-jacked my work number off my email and called me at work, i told him i don’t like talking on the phone at work and gave him my home number. the next day before 9:00 am he had called my cell phone twice (I didn’t answer, was getting my daughter dressed), sent me 3 texts, left a vm at work, and emailed me. This went on for a few days despite my patient requests that he give me time to respond or call him back before he calls back to back. He had stressed me out b4 we had even been on a date.
@Humble-I concur with the other women. Thirsty is when in the same five minutes you try thirty different things. Persistent is when you give it some time…say 3 months and try five things.
“What is the difference b/w being thirsty and persistant? If a woman tells me no I accept it as no and move on.”
I think there are social cues that seasoned men know how to read and display. If a woman hasn’t even noticed you and you detect that she really isn’t interested (averted gaze, walking hastily to her car etc etc) then bounce. But men need to start getting in touch with their inner gps, a woman just by her body language will signal clues. Men need to learn to be better readers.
also i don’t approach men. its not in my dna. I may do something flirty, but if its not acted upon in my “bookem window” the opportuniy closes. I ultimately want to know that the man is interested in me enough without my DIRECT and blatent tweaking of the situation.
@Mikki: Aw Lawd….. I might want to know my roll and stick with what I know.
LOL @ Cuzzo: you done gave him a name!!!!
@Cuzzo: trust me, i can handle it…lol.
in the little flirt dance I do like some persistance…ie, asking me for my number. Asking to go out tomorrow etc etc.
The actual definition of persistence is what it is – existing for a long or longer than usual time or continuously. Dude just can’t ask for the number or some time – or whatever he’s tryna get – 5 times back to back to back in one meeting – that’s thirsty to me. Now, you can ask for whatever (a date, time, the number) one day, say hey the next, try again in a week, etc. and not just say – she ain’t give me the number eff dat B, she smell like rotten eggs anyway.
Ok new question for the ladies
would any of you (the kidless ones specifically) date a guy who had 3 kids?
all by the same woman and they was married but got a divorce, the youngest is 2 and the oldest is 5.
outside of him having kids he is very attractive, hard working takes care of the little ones and is VERY VERY SWEET, he compliments you even when you dont think you look great, takes out the trash cuts grass, ie pretty much perfect.
would you over look the kids?
Humble – he may have to be persistent he may not. but, the non-attractive dude is just gonna seem thirsty because you are thoroughly disgusted by his aura.
lol Nicki I agree sista stick with what you know, heck i can’t eve do it right!
i agree cuzzo i think it just comes down to attractiveness because believe you me a fine brotha doesn’t have to ask me but ONCE!!
@Comeback: I agree…I mean, there’s a difference in “hesitated interest” and just apathetic disdain. If you ask for my number and I say no but seem to still be feeling you, maybe I’m just being cautious, or guarded, or maybe i have a crazy boyfriend whom i’m planning to leave but is currently hiding behind a pillar watching me and waiting to whoop my a$$ Ike Turner style…find a way to try again. This one guy tried to holla at me @ a club, I said “no” politely (as I always do) he said “i tell you what, if I see you again, I’m going to consider it fate and you have to give me your number then” coincidentally I saw him two days later at a BBQ and made good on our deal…
Now if you walk up to me and my body language is completely put off…I’m not looking at you, I’ve turned my body away from you, I said no and started speeding up my walking…take that as a sign buster!
Oops, I said I was on time out! Ok, I’m going to be a good girl now.
Mikki, anyone can have some kids – u have to know about the dynamic btwn him and the ex-wife/baby mama.
btw – who’s trash is taking out and who’s grass is he cutting? the ex-wife’s?
@Mikki-I would. I have done it before and I found he had ample time for the kids and for me. It was never a question. When he felt I needed to be number 1 I was and the kids likely didn’t even notice and when he felt they needed to be it was cool with me. But I warn you it takes a special kinda woman, because sometimes your time might get cut into for the kids (sickness, etc.). And yeah, I’m with Cuzzo-who’s trash and grass?
It’s a big balancing act.
“would you over look the kids?”
@ Mik girl you still pontificatin’ this man? You need to refresh me on the specifics. Doesnt he have full custody. I’m such a self-fish byt%ch, that this wouldnt really appeal to me. How is he managing his dating life. Is he bringing women around to do a mommy test drive? what happens if the kids get attached and you grow to hate him.
I dunno i just want someone I can build with and then incorporate kids. thats just my opinion.
Cuzzo lets say the dynamic is just very basic, he picks them up on his visit days pays all his child support ect she is not drama nor is he the just exist to take care of the kids no more no less everybody is on the same page.
he is cutting your grass n taking out your trash
and btw you are right now kidless and still wanting crumb snatchers of your own
@Mikki-Does he want more kids? Cause he seems responsible but he’s got THREE already…
“Now if you walk up to me and my body language is completely put off…I’m not looking at you, I’ve turned my body away from you, I said no and started speeding up my walking…take that as a sign buster”
yeah im big on body language. But some men are so slow they don’t even know you’ve just screwed them standing up. and they still doing a two step on ethenol and soy beans for alternative fuel.
@Breelicious – I saw your comment #35. I get that. What the hell do you have to make a guy do all of that off of seeing you and an email address? What did you do to him?
@all the women – Please explain this to me. If you are feeling this guy and you are available at the time. Why does he have to be persistant? I understand if it is work or you have a lot going on at that time he approached. But if none of that applies to the time he asks you out why does he have to keep asking for weeks or months?
…dammit I just broke a nail. *sigh*
Mikki – you can’t worry about or control the what ifs, only the what is – what if’s can go on forever. what if we start living together and i make more money and we break up and i have to start paying his child support like halle berry? come on now…
@Mikki: HELL NAW… and it could be because I don’t have kids and it’s hard for me to date a guy with kids now…. But that’s only because I think if you date a man with kids, you have to admit that you will never be first.. I can’t do it.
I agree with Nicki…you wouldn;t even come second its like 4th. And maybe after the baby momma. And what if she still got feelings (she don;t want him but she don’t nobody to have him either), one of them babies might be sick every weekend.
@Humble: you don’t have to go through all that. i say that if you’re interested and you ask a chic out 3 times should be max. if she doesn’t bite, then it’s her loss. if at some point she comes to her senses and realizes the good that’s in then she will be the one doing the pursuing to regain your attention. i say 3 strikes and you’re out….NEXT!!
“sick” as in the fabricated sick.
comeback what is pontificatin’ ????
no full costody he just has them on his weekends and stuff like that. we have already atablished that he is an excellent father.
I make more than he does and he already works two jobs to support the kids. I want my own kids and i wonder if we will struggle because we will end up with 4 or 5 lol
we went to school together and was best friends but after that we went to different ways and now we recently connected again
@Humble: If I’m feeling him at the time, he will get my math RIGHT THEN! No doubt about it… but if he doesn’t ask, then I will keep “placing’ myself in the right moments. LOL…. depends on how long that dance is and I’m just gonna quit!!! LOL
@Comeback: Yes ma’am…. A bitter baby’s mama is a BEAST to deal with… And it will ruin the strongest of relationships.
@Mikki – I’m not going to say kids should be overlooked as a possible hinderance…but what’s more important is what would the relationship look like. Mr. Perfect sometimes comes with some baggage, just like we do…but is it baggage worth toting? My BFF called me almost every other night for weeks saying she was going to dump this guy. She was crazy about him, he was so good to her, she LOVED spending time with her, but he is divorced with four kids. That’s ALOT of baggage. In the end, she decided that how she felt about him was worth dealing with the kids. Trust me, this is something she would have NEVER done…she was like comeback…but today she’s grinning up a storm, happy and glowing and shyt and talking about getting married. He’s a good man, he tripped up and married the wrong girl and as a result he was blessed with a few (okay maybe more than a few) kids. Can’t hold that against him. If you were offered a candy bar that tasted exactly like you wanted but it came with a few extra wrappers to get to it would you not still eat it?
Oh…I only came back on to ask for teacia’s email address…text it to me…thanks
ok so if yall agree that its a bad idea to date him because of being 4th place or crazy baby momma issues . What do you say to the guy, you really like him a lot and this is really the nicest you have been treated in a long time. You dont want to dump him but you don’t want to lead him on either because you know in your heart you dont want a ready made family.
you don’t want to hurt his feelings or come off as cold hearted he already got his odds stacked up against him enough.
u want kids – but does he want more? this seems like a conversation you need to be having with him. put all that questioning about him and his situation aside and ask yourself what can you handle.
Bree that sounds like the exact scenario!!!
makes me go hmmmm