Single Black Male

Just to lighten things up … I figured I would take some time to write about something I love in this world.  Something that brings me great joy and happiness in my life.  Something that just talking about gives me that warm feeling inside.

I’m talking about breasts …

Yes … breasts!

“But SBM … aren’t you a black man?!  Don’t you love booty”.  Well … I do like booty … but I love breasts.

This has been a constant point of argument amongst my friends.  I mean I’m like this living anomaly with them.  They all seem to unanimously agree about the greatness of asses over breasts … but I just don’t see it.

So … in classic SBM fashion … let me share with the world just a few of the reasons I adore, admire, and enjoy … those beautiful Betty Boopers

Variation

You have teardrop shaped ones.  You have big and full.  You have saggers.  You have nice and perky.  In addition to that you have the areolas … offering ever more change and variation.  Throw nipple variations into the mix, and you have a virtual infinite possibilities. I can’t speak for everyone … but I like options!  You got about 4 shapes of ass … and thats it.

They sit right below the face

To get a peek at a girl’s ass, she has to turn around or be looking sideways.  The breasts are presented right after the smile.  Its like “Hi, my name is Pamela.  These are my two friends”.  In addition, you are never surprised by a buttaface.  How many times have you seen booty that makes you double take … only to see a face that makes your eyes start to tear up … too many times to count.  No surprises with breasts.  Also, when making love … I can see her face and whatever freaky thing she is doing with your tongue … in addition to her glory bouncing up and down.

Funner to play with

You can squeeze em together, pull em apart, put something in between them, play with nipples, trace the areola … the list goes on for days.  A butt can be smacked, grabbed, and rubbed.  If I’m missing something … let me know.

They get more attention

From the beginning of time breasts have gotten more attention.  There were push up bras, then came tissue stuffing, then came plastic surgery.  Only recently have I started to hear about ass implants … and that’s it.  Fine … I’ll count Parasuco jeans back when they were hot …

So … thats it.  No anger inciting post.  Nothing to get everyone riled up.  I love breasts and the whole world should know!

To all the women out there smuggling midgets in their back side … SBM loves you too … but you those busting out for the world with them sweater kittens … I think SBM loves you just a little more.

*******NOTE********
I’m trying to win a Black Weblog Award … so all nominations are appreciated.

Also, you can now subscribe over email for your regular SBM fix … no need to fire up the web browser at work … you can actually pretend your doing work.
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My birthday was yesterday, and as I write this I am recovering and preparing to rest my body from doing too much … way too much.  As I have not the strength of mental fortitude for something spectacular … I will keep it simple and short.

There is one thing I think I can truly take away from this birthday: I will never understand women … and I officially have given up.

I previously stated that never understanding my wife or significant other ranked on my list of top 5 fears along with things like losing my penis and dying without having had a threesome.  I can safely say that I no longer fear it … because I was seeking an impossible goal.

So … I have concluded that understanding women is impossible and unessescary … you just need to understand how to make them happy … then life is easy.

Too bad that sh*t is just as complicated as understanding them in the first place … *sigh*

“Man you hear that new Raheem Duvan joint”
“No”
“You catch that new Ne-yo song … its hot”
“No”
“I know you heard that new Chris Brown one about being in love to the point you cry.  Joint had me crying last night and everything.  Its fire!”
“Naw man … I don’t listen to that soft sh*t.  Looking at you crying over a damn song”
“I’m just sayin …”

I know everyone loves Rythm & Blues (R&B).  I know it touches the soul.  I know hours could be spent discussing the best songs of the past year, decade, or century.  I know it plays constantly on every major urban radio station.  I know all of these things … and still … I say to eveybody

F*ck R&B!

I just can’t get with it.  I’m sick of hearing songs about the same sad and sorry stuff.  I’m tired of hearing some guy cry about the girl he lost or is losing.  I’m tired of someone who is being cheated on and just can’t take it anymore telling the whole world about their heartbreak instead of addressing it.  I’m tired of choreographed dance moves, hearts in waterfalls, shirtless negros gliding across stages, and all the softness and shrink wrapped “emotions” being sold.

I’m barely old enough to remember … but I remember R&B being called “soul music” at one time.  I remember how this genre had a soul once … and sadly its gone.  Therefore I don’t support it as a genre … and will continue to be willfully ignorant of new R&B artists and songs.

There are a few “contemporary” artists I have generally been able to listen to … here are some of them.

Lauryn Hill (maybe because she is a rapper too)
Alicia Keyes (So fine)
Musiq Soulchild (Don’t know … but I connect with “Teach Me”)
Anthony Hamilton (idk …)
D’ Angelo (I remember listening to him when he first came out)
Jodeci (I mean … they were nasty as hell)
Jill Scott (I like em thick)
Erykay Badu (I feel her hip-hop influence)
John Legend (”Baby when I used to love you” … finally something real and not soft)

And that’s all I can really think of.  Classics like Marvin Gaye or Al Green are too good to be listed with anyone this contemporary … so they go without mentioning (although I don’t listen to them on the regular).

Another problem I have with R&B is the fits of bitchassness it seems to invoke.  Some guys just turn into these pathetic messes that are so dependent on women.  I just can’t support this.

Now … I will say R&B has taught me some things.  In particular, Musiq Soulchild’s views on love (in some cases) click well with mine and I just feel him in some of his stuff.  Listening to Teach Me (Chopped & Screwed of course) has helped me through some troubling times and has allowed me to soften my tough exterior at times.  Generally, neosoul is the only place I really see any hope.

And for the record, if anyone claims its because of my young age or that I will “grow into it” … I’m gonna choke you!  I actually liked it a lot more when I was younger.

And to this end … I will be listening to R&B for the rest of this week.  I want to see how it affects my overall mood and disposition to the fairer sex, and if I can actually make it without throwing up in my mouth a little bit.  Thats why I asked for solicitations a few posts again.

May God have mercy on my soul and poor ears …

This isn’t a full post as much as it is a request.  As always … depending on the collective wisdom of you … my peoples.

I am in the works of conducting a thought provoking and interesting experiment in music and social behavior.  Well … I think its all those things.

Anyways, as a result I need to fill my ipod with good, emotion provoking, and non sex based (read: Jodeci) R&B music.  Since I don’t listen to R&B (I mean I can barely tell you what R&B is on the radio at this point) … I am looking for suggestions, recommendations, and the “OMG … you gotta get this”.

My collection so far is limited, but includes:

• Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (My favorite R&B album of all time … maybe because she is a rapper)
• Alicia Keys - The Diary of Alicia Keyes
• Alicia Keys - Unplugged
• Beyonce - Dangerously in Love
• Mya - Moodring
• R Kelly - The R in R&B
• T-Pain - (IDK the name)
• Brooke Valentine - (IDK the name)

I think thats all the major ones.  I know what my first recommedation is going to be by my favorite person making a “Come Back”, so I got one.

Also, anyone with access to the screwed and chopped “Sux Action” series or the Swishahouse “Srraight to the Room” series of slowed & throwed R&B … hit me up … we need to arrange a transfer.

What should I get?  Who’s Hot?  Whats classic?  What should I delete and never listen to again?

Ya boy needs help …

- SBM

I’m still here … but no post today

Work is crazy, someone said they lost all respect for me because of this blog (still can’t figure that one out), and just got a bunch of stuff going on.

Don’t worry … the usual foul mouthed, big dick swinging, controversy invoking SBM will be back real soon … I would call it a comeback … but aint gonna be gone that long!

Until I return … a little ignorance to hold you over …