Single Black Male

I know no one can tell from this blog, because I have become a smooth, billy dee like individual, capable of good conversation and expressing his mind. This wasn’t always the case, and deep down in me … there lies a nerd.

Look at the resume. Studied Computer Science & Economics, did 5 internships as a software developer (electrical engineer in one) and currently work as a software developer. Got like all kind of tech toys, computers, and the sort. While I have plenty of interests that keep a good balance … there is definitely a inner nerd.

So how does this pertain to women. Its never come up as a minus for me. I have found that women actually like someone who can fix their computer … lol. But … it affects the things I look for in women.

I yearn for a nerd. I mean a programming, really high tech cell phone, slashdot reading, computer building, 3 computers in the house, can talk compilers type of nerd. I want someone who knows what polymorphism is, can differentiate SQL Server from MySQL, and can tell me the benefits of open source. I want her to talk code to get me in the mood.

for (i=0;i < 10: i++) kissMe(); …. Oooooohh Baby

So while this is not one of my “requirements” for a woman, it would be nice.

Alas, I have pretty much given up on this as a goal in life. Specifically to find an attractive black women who is a programmer … is like a one in a million shot. I thought I had found one … but she couldn’t even read Java. I knew of two back in College, (that counted as attractive, black, and programming) … but there were various reasons why those didn’t take off. (more…)

I don’t know why … but its so hard for a girl to keep my interest.

Guess I just jumped into that one kind of quick. No antidote, no interesting story, no joke … right to the point. So lets work backwards on this post … see how that works out.

I have talked to a few other guys, some seem to share this same thing. I don’t dare ask a black women for her opinion, afraid of getting the “All you black men are like that. Can”t commit! Can’t settle down! Just wanna f*ck everything!” speech. While I do think it plagues guys more than women … its a serious problem … for me at least.

Its crazy the amount of times I have just lost interest. It comes like a thief in the night too. Sadly, there is often no warning, no precedent, and no logic. At some point we’re talking, things are good, then suddenly the calls dry up. I’m not proud of it, but I just can’t muster the strength to call the person back.

My good female friend has given me two theories.

The First: Its me. I get bored easily. I need strong conversation, great personality, and a resume that impresses me. In addition, I’m lazy about things, so therefore it takes a lot for me to not be lazy and hold interest.

The Second: I meet and entertain a lot of bucket heads. I have no business really talking to these girls in the first place and I need to do a better job at picking high quality females.

There is some truth in both of these, but my friend is a little to “harsh” … so we’ll just reject both of them.

After a bit of soul searching and analysis … I think I have made a few discoveries.

• I’m lazy in pursuing maintaining contact with females.
• I do entertain the company of several girls I know are worth talking to.
• I hate calling.
• I really hate calling.
• Women just aren’t the priority in my life they used to be. Got bigger “fish to fry”.
• I’m addicted to good, intelligent conversation … and thats not always easy to come by.
• I’m slightly judgmental … so I’m compiling my list of Fundamental Character Flaw’s … although conversation is “good”

I have also noticed a few things that have been helpful in crushing this ADD.

• Females who aren’t afraid to call: This helps me get over my not calling issue. I rarely ignore a phone call and once I have experienced the addicting conversation I crave … calling is no longer an issue
• Females who aren’t pressuring me for anything: I don’t like to be asked about when I’m taking you to dinner next, when you can bogart the calendar, or when I plan to get married. Focus on getting to know me and the reverse. Everything else happens in time.
• Females showing genuine interest: I’m not trying to get played, simped, or used for food or movies. Also, if I think someone is not feeling me, what reason do I have to call and pursue you?

So … hopefully … this doens’t plague me for the rest of my life. Hopefully I’ll meet the person that keeps my interest forever. Also, I’m pretty sure I have Adult ADD by the way (you wouldn’t believe how many times I got distracted just writing this post) … maybe thats the reason … eh.

I know there is someone else who chronically loses interest too. I know someone has some tips, hints, or methods.