Single Black Male

“Dawg … I think I’m hooked … she got that essence!”

This isn’t anything new … its not groundbreaking … but I’m here to give it a name and let it be known to those who simply don’t know.  Also, I feel it needs some clarification for all of you out there overdoing it.

Girls like guys with confidence.  Often this is called his “swag”, “swagger”, or “swagger factor”.  Its the way he carries himself.  Its the way he approaches you confident that he is worth your time, but not arrogant as to think “this girl is so lucky to be blessed by my presence”.

Well, a similar thing holds true for females.  My good friend dubbed this term to refer to his girlfriend (their both gonna read this and she is going to hate me because she hates the word) and initially described it as simply … Female Swagger.

The Essense … its that sense of self confidence in a girl showing you that she knows who she is, flaws and all, but revels and cherishes her strengths.  She knows she looks good, but doesn’t ever … ever … call herself “The Sh*t” because, she knows she is imperfect and has FCF’s, and also because … sh*t stinks!

Arrogance ≠ Essence 

This is so … so … important.  Let me just say it again: Arrogance does not equal Essence. Its a very fine line every person, male or female, must tread lightly.  Arrogance is pompous, annoying, and anti-seductive.  An arrogant person will almost always think they are better than you, and they won’t be willing to admit, acknowledge, or work on their faults.

This arrogance runs rampant amongst females (well in DC it does)!  A lot of girls feel they can treat guys anyway they want. They embarass, emasculate, and humiliate us in front of friends, family, and that random dude on the street, who now clowns him everytime he walks by (”Look at that ol’ p*ssy whipped sumbitch.  I wouldn’t let no girl talk to me like that. Punk ass ho!”). It has also given many women absolutely no leeway in the 2 million things that her man must posess, because she knows that she can’t ”settle”.  No one should be with someone they don’t like (i.e. settle without quotation marks), but when the the size of his shoe, length of his penis (down to the quarter inch), and the make of his car are all things you can’t “settle” on, your setting yourself up for failure.

To my ladies … Do you have that essence?

To my guys … Are you looking for that essence?

Being a Black male, I’m accused of being obsessed with only ass, tits, or looks in some way shape or form on a daily basis. Those close to me know the truth, but when the topic comes up it seems that its always assumed I am an ass man, and that a “dyme” piece is all I strive for in a women.

Sadly, this stereotype is almost deserved. Across social classes, professions, educational backgrounds, and regions … most of my male friends or acquaintances have an unhealthy obsession with looks. A lot of them are capable of looking past just the body, but even the best have succumbed to the “dumb as rocks”, busted (ugly) in the face, gold-digger, stank attitude woman, and when asked for justification … all I get is “look at that ass though”. WHY?!?!?!

I am here to appeal to all of those searching for the perfect ass, set of tits, smile, whatever your poison, because my brothers … there is more. The fact of the matter is that no matter how large that ass is, no matter how well formed and perky those breasts are … your going to have to talk to her. Also, you can’t see titties over the phone.

*Disclaimer* - This applies to girlfriends and wifey’s. The jumpoff, one night stand, or random roller does not need to be judged by the same standards. Lets be real … there is a viable “purpose” to this category of women, but their conversation abilities and intellect just aren’t important. But also, don’t treat a vicious (real attractive) roller (hoe) like a first class citizen just cause she is fine. Your messing up the ecosystem!

Anyone should be attracted to whoever their dating or plan to date, but this obsession with looks, especially body, is hurting us guys in many ways.

1. First, its setting us up to be with these sub-par females who just got a nice body. Do yourself and your sanity a favor and ask for more than a dyme piece.
2. Secondly, and more importantly, these chics out here who are vicious (highly attractive) think they are invincible. The superiority complex is spreading like an epidemic and has made slightly too many females overly selfish, needy, and picky. The pickiness of females is and often debated topic.
3. Lastly, girls who really don’t look that good are getting a lot of attention from too many guys, and developping ridiculous egos. A girl who really has little to offer in terms of looks, personality, or anything else will put on a little makeup, and where something showing off their breasts, and low cut jeans showing their thong, and every guy gives them attention. This one such a huge problem expect a follow-up post. Basically, now women who really shouldn’t suffer from the superiority complex are convinced they are dymes. So sad … so sad …

So I conclude with a plea to all my fellow males. Lets stop it. We have got to stop putting such a huge emphasis on looks. We are letting 5’s walk around like their 10’s … and thats just bad for everybody. Also, the girl who is nice, nuturing, selfless, and has that killer personality is SO undervalued. She is the real dyme.

Wake up …