Tag Archive for 'black hair'

Beautiful Black Hair

Published
by
SBM
on August 20, 2008
in Laws of Attraction
. 83 Comments

**Site Note** New Poll … Whats more important to you?  Sex or Conversation **End Note**

I responded to an reader submission before where a young lady was upset at the person she was dating, who didn’t approve of her change in hairstyle.  Initially it was long and straight, and she decided to keep it natural and curly.  The ensuing problems were interesting, but we already talked about that.  The thing that really stood out to me about the email was the last sentence …

I didn’t think hair was that serious for men

WHAT!!!

Now … those of you who really know me know that I am not a very shallow person.  But … holds major weight when judging woman.  Bad hair can knock a dime to a nickel or take a possible butta-face and turn her into something you might actually want to take out in public.  Hair can work miracles.

Have you ever seen those movies or sitcoms where they take a nerdy girl and turn her into a stunner.  They only do three things to bring about this complete transformation …

1. Take off glasses.
2. Let hair fall to shoulders (they always have silky straight hair … but its always in a ponytail).

Thats it!  Hairstyle instantly turns the boring girl who you might cheat off of into the girl your passing notes to trying to cheat on your girlfriend with.

Lets illustrate this with a personal story.

I went to a friend’s cookout a long time ago.  There was a girl there who seemed cute, but I didn’t think much off.  As the night progressed we found ourselves arguing opposite ends of the same argument (oddly enough the topic was men and chivalry).  While I didn’t agree with her on anything, and her chill clothes and ponytail didn’t impress me … the ferocity with which she argued and the logic in her arguments activated my intelligence fetish and I found myself exchanging information with her later that night.

We chatted and texted, but I nothing seriously happened.  She was that intelligent and cool girl who was … alright.  Then one day she proposed we do sushi and since I was free … I obliged.

I came to pick her up … and she came out with what looked like hair straight out the salon.  It was short, straight, and shoulder length, but kind of fell into her eye the whole night as we talked.  Nothing special … but was doing wonders for her.  She instantly jumped 5 points in my book and soon succumbed to the full force of the Billy Dee like game (which got activated) … very much because of the way those 8 hairs fell across her face when she got into my car.

I love an extreme assortment of hair styles, but I think short and naturals are starting to win me over … and I still detest weaves.  Don’t let a girl with short hair looking good come around me … I would do some of the nastiest things to her body treat her like the queen she is.

I know I’m not the only guy who feels this way!

Beautiful Black Hair: SBM Answers

Published
by
SBM
on July 21, 2008
in Submission
. 55 Comments

A reader is having a spat over the style of her hair.  Here is what she told me …

I’ve been dating a guy for about 4 months.  When he met me I had long mid-back length hair but during that time I was also growing out my relaxer for a year.  I’d told him about this countless times but I’m not sure he understood, whatever.   He had been out of town for a week and during that week I decided to cut all of my relaxed hair ends.  After cutting everything off I felt so beautiful with all my curls.  I ended up straightening my hair for an event where he met up with me.  He said something about my short shoulder-length hair but I just brushed it off.  Fast-forward to the weekend, he see’s me with the natural look and his face looks so disgusted!  He was looking at it and was like “Where the hell is your hair???” I explained to him the whole transitioning/cut thing and he responded with ” So you’re bald headed now?” I say  “No, my hair is actually to the bottom of to my shoulders when straightened and you just saw that at the event, now you see my curls”.  Then he gets ignorant and says “At least you don’t have normal black people’s hair! I’m glad you aint nappy” I was thinking WTF!!!  No compliments or anything…just pure ignorance!  I felt like punching his ass and I did not want to be around him much longer at that point. I ignored him for about 2 days because I was so hurt.  He messaged me later with this ”I’m NOT into that, Sorry.”  I did not respond back.  Then he came to my house apologizing on my doorstep (I wouldn’t let him inside) about his comments and the message that he sent.  He’s definately an ass and I’m kinda glad that he showed his true colors but now I am SUPER discouraged.  I love my hair because of it’s versatility and have recieved so many compliments when it’s straight or curly.  I’m not saying that one should change their hair for a man but I just hope that my hair doesn’t turn guys off.  Do you think guys like the straight look more?   I’m not sure I can trust him now.  What do you think? Do you also think this is how many men feel?  I didn’t think hair was that serious for men.

First off, I must say that hair is very important to most (if not all) guys.  Its almost like breasts … the opinions vary a lot and include a wide range … but damnit if everyone doesn’t have a preference.  I have one friend who loves girls with mohawks, one who loves the natural look, one who preferes short hair in general, another who hates weaves, and others who like straight and long.  Personally, I like a couple different styles … but I generally detest weaves and I want something I can grab on while I’m … uh … moving on …

Now that I addressed that … I can’t completely knock the guy for feeling “SomeKindaWay” about the drastic change in hair … I can only fault him for being as ass about it (even an asshole such as myself knows better than to say “at least your not nappy”).  Is this guy white by chance?

While in the perfect world he would only love you for the contents of your soul and the virtue of your character, the reality is that hair is a big thing.  You losing some 12 to 24 inches of your hair considering the “dating” period has been relatively short (4 months), its kind of like someone gaining or losing 20 lbs.  The person may now be too skinny, or too fat, causing problems to ensue.

The main thing I want to say to you … don’t be discouraged.  I know personally, I love short and curly.  Unless this dude is like the greatests motherf*cker in existance, and your willing to change, and your willing to put up with the showing of his ass, and your willing to ignore his ignorance … then change and grow your hair out.  Since I’m willing to assume he isn’t worth it … in this case I will say to move on.

As long as your hair looks good … every guy might not like it … but there are plenty who will!

Am I wrong?