Tag Archive for 'booty'

The Shake Joint

Published
by
SBM
on October 8, 2008
in Men
. 281 Comments

There is one place well known as a safe haven for all men.  It’s a place that we can all retreat too, usually in groups … a place where we can bond, talk, and catch up without interuption from the women in our lives.  It’s a place where we can relax and truly be ourselves and ponder our meaning on this earth and the true meaning of our existance.  Yes … this glorious place for ages has provided men with a great refuge and has helped us keep our sanity.

At this point you might be wonderin what I’m tlaking about.  It’s not a male retreat in the woods, it’s not the local sports bar, and it’s not the basement of your friends house.  While all those places are important to us, I am talking about somewhere much more fundamental to your average Single Black Male.

Yes … I am talking about the Strip Club … aka … The Shake Joint

I love the strip club!  I don’t go weekly or anything crazy like that, but I couldn’t see me going a full year without at least one visit.  And besides allowing me to make contributions to the SBM College Fund, there are a plethora of reasons for a visit with the boys.

So … Lets examine what makes the strip club so great.

Best Place for Male Bonding

Since it seems every black woman has a huge issue with homophobia with Down Low brothas and  super jealous females … we have to be careful about where we go out.  If you go chill at your boy’s house … you two might be getting that “thug luvin.”  If you go to a sports bar, your trying to pick up new women (to the jealous type).  But the strip club … your not likely to take the stripper home … and you can’t be gay if your putting a dollar in between some woman’s butt cheeks.  So now you can bond … without feeling soft.

Titties Make the Perfect Backdrop

Whether its a business pitch, asking someone to be your best man, or catching up with your brother about the family … titties make a good backdrop for any type of conversation.  Especially with the classier clubs.

Figure Out What Works

Where else can you view a smorgasbord of women of various body types, races, hair styles, and make-up in one place without fear of looking too hard or too long.  If you’ve ever wondered what type of women you really like … head on down to your local strip club and try a few out.  Onion booty not smackable enough … lets get you a tear drop.  Triple D’s won’t fit in your hand … lets get you into some nice C’s.  Firm butt doesn’t ripple like you think it should … how about a chunky one.

Great Conversation

I don’t care what anyone says … strippers have great conversation (depending on the club).  They often have real interesting lifes, crazy stories to tell, are good listeners, have crazy life experiences, and can always end things with “poor baby … go head and cup my ass”.  What more can you ask for?

Good Music

The strip club I frequent plays all the dirty south music I love.  I can sit down, have me a drink, and just relax.

No Need for a Button Up

If you go out to a club or want to enjoy a saturday night, the strip club is one of the few places (around here) where you don’t have to dress up (besides the hood clubs).  You can throw on a black t-shirt, some Levi’s, a pair of New Balances, and go have you a good ass night.

The Table’s are Turned

One of the most compelling reasons to hit the strip club is that its one of the few places where life is reversed when it comes to men and women.  Not that I don’t love the chase or that I’m lazy, but I can’t help but smile inside when I see the dejected stripper sitting down after getting turned down by 5 guys.  Maybe I’m a spiteful asshole bit sadistic … but it’s nice to be on the other side every once in awhile.

This applies to club I go to and spots that can be found in DC, PG and Baltimore. Strip Clubs in the south are real different.  Also, the price point of my local spot (Free entry on weeknights and $5 dances any day) makes it a resonable chill spot.  Ain’t no “making it rain” and that bullsh*t.

If you haven’t been in awhile … go enjoy yourself and take a break.  Women have pedicures, massages, and spa’s … we got ass & titties … pamper yourself!

Tig Ol’ Bitties

Published
by
SBM
on August 13, 2008
in About Me
. 162 Comments

Just to lighten things up … I figured I would take some time to write about something I love in this world.  Something that brings me great joy and happiness in my life.  Something that just talking about gives me that warm feeling inside.

I’m talking about breasts …

Yes … breasts!

“But SBM … aren’t you a black man?!  Don’t you love booty”.  Well … I do like booty … but I love breasts.

This has been a constant point of argument amongst my friends.  I mean I’m like this living anomaly with them.  They all seem to unanimously agree about the greatness of asses over breasts … but I just don’t see it.

So … in classic SBM fashion … let me share with the world just a few of the reasons I adore, admire, and enjoy … those beautiful Betty Boopers

Variation

You have teardrop shaped ones.  You have big and full.  You have saggers.  You have nice and perky.  In addition to that you have the areolas … offering ever more change and variation.  Throw nipple variations into the mix, and you have a virtual infinite possibilities. I can’t speak for everyone … but I like options!  You got about 4 shapes of ass … and thats it.

They sit right below the face

To get a peek at a girl’s ass, she has to turn around or be looking sideways.  The breasts are presented right after the smile.  Its like “Hi, my name is Pamela.  These are my two friends”.  In addition, you are never surprised by a buttaface.  How many times have you seen booty that makes you double take … only to see a face that makes your eyes start to tear up … too many times to count.  No surprises with breasts.  Also, when making love … I can see her face and whatever freaky thing she is doing with your tongue … in addition to her glory bouncing up and down.

Funner to play with

You can squeeze em together, pull em apart, put something in between them, play with nipples, trace the areola … the list goes on for days.  A butt can be smacked, grabbed, and rubbed.  If I’m missing something … let me know.

They get more attention

From the beginning of time breasts have gotten more attention.  There were push up bras, then came tissue stuffing, then came plastic surgery.  Only recently have I started to hear about ass implants … and that’s it.  Fine … I’ll count Parasuco jeans back when they were hot …

So … thats it.  No anger inciting post.  Nothing to get everyone riled up.  I love breasts and the whole world should know!

To all the women out there smuggling midgets in their back side … SBM loves you too … but you those busting out for the world with them sweater kittens … I think SBM loves you just a little more.

*******NOTE********
I’m trying to win a Black Weblog Award … so all nominations are appreciated.

Also, you can now subscribe over email for your regular SBM fix … no need to fire up the web browser at work … you can actually pretend your doing work.
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