Single Black Male

I’m actually sick and it kind of sucks. I won’t go into the specifics, but if I don’t feel better tomorrow, the doctor is going to be called. So if this post is lacking … blame it on the illness.

Missing work led to a discussion with a former interest of mine about being sick and caring for another person. I made a strong argument that one reason we didn’t work out is because she didn’t care for me when I was sick.

Early on when we were dating, she got a little cough and asked me to come care for her. I got some soup and orange juice and tried to make her feel good.

A few weeks later when I found myself a little sick, I called her for assistance. I told her I needed someone to “nurse me to health” … she chuckled and started talking about something else … giving me some BS excuse about why she couldn’t do it.

This wasn’t the last incident … but it was the first time her selfishness became apparent.

She wasn’t my girlfriend, but all the time I spent with her … you wouldn’t have been able to tell.  Are you only expected to nurse somebody if their your official boyfriend or girlfriend?  I figure … if you sleep over more than 3 times in any week … then you can bring me some chicken soup.

Was I wrong for asking her to make me feel better? Doesn’t asking someone for something and refusing to return the favor define selfishness? Was I asking too much?

What do women want?

A question that has plagued many males. A question debated and argued in barbershops, dorm rooms, strip clubs, and in psychological circles across the country. The basis of a few movies, at least one doctorate thesis, a couple case studies … and a memorably episode of “Save by the Bell: The College Years”.

When it comes to what women want from men, this question gets complicated some people … especially guys … but not all guys. There are plenty of us who have discovered the answer to this a long time ago, but sadly, right now there is some guy who just can’t get a date or is crying over the girl who just dumped him (the punk … where they do that at?) and looks to the sky and crys out to the heavens … “WHAT DO WOMEN WANT FROM ME!?!?!?!?”.

Well, to this sorry brother I will help him out and spell it out for him. I also might educate someone else in the process. You would think one of his friends would have sat him down a long time ago and had a conversation with him about it … but guess not everyone is that lucky.

You might be thinking … “this is going to be deep” or … “this is probably some complicated information” and you need to take notes. But honestly … its so simple. What do women want from us men … Everything.

Yeah … thats it … Everything!

OK, so I will elaborate, because some are probably mad right now (”Whatever … we don’t want everything! He’s talking out his ass”) and some are probably confused (”Everything … thats impossible … what is he talking about”) and then you have those who are already in the know (”Finally … someone said it”).

A woman needs a man to be strong, caring, emotional, distant, hard to get, easy to talk to, available, not too available, funny, serious, smart, cool, “hood”, professional, sexy, good dressing, able to dress down, high class, normal, moral, freaky, clean cut, a little rough, etc., etc., etc. Basically, he needs to be a jack of all trades and master of none.

But here is the thing … its OK. I understood and came to this conclusion years ago. When “talking” to any girl I’m interested in, its easy to provide “everything” (or at least as much as I need to). Any guy who is even half capable of getting women can be all of these things (and fake what he’s not). He’s funny, but not always the comedian. He shows interest, but isn’t blowing up your phone. He is educated, but doesn’t use useless big words. And even if he is not every single thing on the list … he’s damn close.

I’m gonna end this one with a plea to all women. Realize that your perfect guy has everything. Realize that providing everything is hard. We can do it for short periods of time (the courtship period) … but its like sprinting … that sh*t is tiring … and sometimes you just need to walk (after maybe a month in). Also, if you don’t get everything … your not settling … your being realistic!