Single Black Male

Just to lighten things up … I figured I would take some time to write about something I love in this world.  Something that brings me great joy and happiness in my life.  Something that just talking about gives me that warm feeling inside.

I’m talking about breasts …

Yes … breasts!

“But SBM … aren’t you a black man?!  Don’t you love booty”.  Well … I do like booty … but I love breasts.

This has been a constant point of argument amongst my friends.  I mean I’m like this living anomaly with them.  They all seem to unanimously agree about the greatness of asses over breasts … but I just don’t see it.

So … in classic SBM fashion … let me share with the world just a few of the reasons I adore, admire, and enjoy … those beautiful Betty Boopers

Variation

You have teardrop shaped ones.  You have big and full.  You have saggers.  You have nice and perky.  In addition to that you have the areolas … offering ever more change and variation.  Throw nipple variations into the mix, and you have a virtual infinite possibilities. I can’t speak for everyone … but I like options!  You got about 4 shapes of ass … and thats it.

They sit right below the face

To get a peek at a girl’s ass, she has to turn around or be looking sideways.  The breasts are presented right after the smile.  Its like “Hi, my name is Pamela.  These are my two friends”.  In addition, you are never surprised by a buttaface.  How many times have you seen booty that makes you double take … only to see a face that makes your eyes start to tear up … too many times to count.  No surprises with breasts.  Also, when making love … I can see her face and whatever freaky thing she is doing with your tongue … in addition to her glory bouncing up and down.

Funner to play with

You can squeeze em together, pull em apart, put something in between them, play with nipples, trace the areola … the list goes on for days.  A butt can be smacked, grabbed, and rubbed.  If I’m missing something … let me know.

They get more attention

From the beginning of time breasts have gotten more attention.  There were push up bras, then came tissue stuffing, then came plastic surgery.  Only recently have I started to hear about ass implants … and that’s it.  Fine … I’ll count Parasuco jeans back when they were hot …

So … thats it.  No anger inciting post.  Nothing to get everyone riled up.  I love breasts and the whole world should know!

To all the women out there smuggling midgets in their back side … SBM loves you too … but you those busting out for the world with them sweater kittens … I think SBM loves you just a little more.

*******NOTE********
I’m trying to win a Black Weblog Award … so all nominations are appreciated.

Also, you can now subscribe over email for your regular SBM fix … no need to fire up the web browser at work … you can actually pretend your doing work.
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“Man … look at her.  She’s georgeous”
“What?  Who are you talking about?”
“That girl right there in the pink with the track body”
“What the f*ck?  She’s like 98 pounds, no ass, no titties.  Gimme that one standing right behind her.  Hmmmph”
“Are you serious?  Why would you want that fat ass?”
“Because dawg … she has a phat ass”

I will tell you right now … I am person #2.  Skinny girls scare me and I need some meet on my bones.

Now, don’t get me wrong … I’m not talking about that 350 lbs super thick chick that can’t move right.  I don’t have any big girl fetish or anything crazy like that … but I like ass … and I really like breasts.  By accepting just a little baby fat … I don’t have to settle or search the world for a thin waist and … exaggerated assets.

Also, when I say skinny … i really mean skinny.  Not lean, not average … but “damn … when was the last time she had a hamburger” skinny.  Model skinny (Tyra Banks excluded).  No ass or titties skinny … yet I have plenty of friends loving the look.

When I see a skinny chic, a bunch of things run through my mind.  All these scenarios of me holding her up with one hand, pushing her against the wall, and doing acrobatic moves with her run through my mind … but then the reality of it all settles in … and soon I think of the reasons why … Skinny girls scare me:

1. Will I break her?
   • I’m no small guy (Over 6′ and 200+ lbs) … and have been (unfairly … kinda) given the label of a “sex freak” by friends.  Do I have to worry that you can’t hang?  Do I have to be concerned that when I’m trying to give it to you … you might not be able to take it?  Hmmm
2. Can you cook? Are you broke?  Eating disorder?
   
   • Now, obesity is a problem and I’m not saying I want obese women … but why are you so skinny?  Can’t afford food?  Can’t cook and you can just make salads?  Are you anorexic?  I just don’t need to deal with convincing you to eat or looking at me funny while I crush my wings and mumbo sauce.
3. Where did your ass go?
   • Its possibly to be skinny and have an ass (this one doesn’t apply to you), but chance are your not walking around with the proverbial … donkey.  And I can live with that … but where did your breasts go?
4. Where did your breasts go?
   • Absolutely inexcusable!!!!
5. Are you going to eat?
   • I am a big fan of good food, cooking, and trying new food.  Around the 4th time you turn down trying the steak on my plate because “this salad is really filling” … its going to be a wrap.

Anyways … I like a little meat on my bones.  Too big is just as bad as too skinny … but don’t give me Kate Moss … give me Toccarra!!!

Any lovers of the thick sista?  Anyone who wants him (or her) a backside to grab onto?

It can’t just be me …

Its Friday again … so time to release so stress at the end of the week.

• I haven’t admitted it … but I love white women.  My last girlfriend was caucasian and while I do date black women, they have continued to depress me and convince me why I will marry a white woman.  Last black woman I dated, asked her to make me a sandwhich … and she laughed.  My ex was making me them after 2 weeks.  Would have made a whole post on it … but thats doing too much.
• I barely go to the club anymore.  I feel like I’m way too young to have outgrown the club, but damn if it just doesn’t do it for me.  I used to love crowded clubs (I’m a big guy so I just moved people) … but now I can’t stand people touching me.  Its hot, I want to sit down, and damn if girls at the club don’t even do it for me.  Besides … women aint touching their toes anymore … whats the point.
• I was joking about the white woman thing.  I love my Nubian Queens (unless your an angry bitter b*tch … can’t stand ya’ll).
• I miss my old car.  I had an Acura TL, sold her for something “practical”, then got so bored I bought a motorcycle.  Now I miss her … soooooooo much!
• I really love breasts.  I just don’t understand why so many guys are ass men.  I will admit that a great ass can make you double take quicker then nice breasts … but when it matters (sex) … the breasts offer hours of fun.  You can push em up … down … around … squish them together … pull them apart … the options are endless.  An ass … you can smack it … what else?
• “My Dougie … My Dougie … My Dougie … she says she likes my Dougie (I’m fresh) … My Dougie (I’m Fresh) … I’m Flyer than a motherf*cker!”
• My “first” didn’t believe I was a virgin.  She refused to believe that I had never had sex with anyone else.  You would think hearing something like that could make you lazy … happy … complacement.  But not me … felt like I had a bar to meet now.  Just so she never saw a “degradation” in quality, I analyzed everything I did, identified the good things, and dropped the bad.  That is the reason I now waaaaaayyyyyyy overthink sex.  I guess the satisfaction of others at the cost of myself … eh.

Thats it for me.  I feel a lot better.

Now … good people of singleblackmale.net … family … whats on your mentally checked out, is it 5 o’clock yet, I don’t want to be here, the weekend started at 9am, ITS FRRRIDDDDAAAYYY mind.

RANT!!!

-SBM