Single Black Male

“Man … I bought that girl a drink and didn’t even get the number”
“Ha ha … you simp ass b*tch”

This conversation occurred so many times in college its not even funny. I tell people to this day that me and all my friends had an official policy about buying drinks for women while in school, and for the years following … don’t do it!

I can actually remember the first time I bought a girl a drink that I didn’t know. I was in Atlanta and had just graduated, so early 20s. I had already signed my offer letter and knew how much I would be making, so I was living on credit and enjoying life (don’t worry … I had an internship and . I was spending plenty of money on myself … strip clubs … alcohol … you know … the usual.

Basically … I was chatting it up with this pretty young thang … hitting her with the Billy Dee like game. At some point she hints that I need to buy her a drink (something like “I need to get my night started”). At this point … time froze … and I was forced to think quick. Do I give her an excuse, potentially throwing away all the good game I had spit and time I had invested (about 15 minutes … but hey … time is time). So … I asked for the number right then and there … knowing in my head her response would govern who paid for her drink. She put them and her name into my phone (I think its still there too) … so I got her an Apple Washington … and unbeknown to her … she popped my cherry.

I had to physically have the number in my possession before I felt comfortable buying a drink. And trust … little has changed.

Why do I need to buy a woman a drink if we are having good conversation and you are interested in me? Do you need verification that I have money? Are you incapable of buying your own drink? Or is it a power play to see what you can get from me?

In support of my “Don’t buy em drinks” campaign … I have all kinds of stories from female friends. One friend got the drink, ducked under the guy’s arm, and yelled thank you over her shoulder as she headed back to the floor. And there are a million more where they guy got little to know acknowledgment or a half assed thank you

I could go on for days about this one … but basically … at the end of the day … I just don’t know you well enough to spend my money on you. Most women don’t go around giving handjobs to everyone that asks or talks to them … so why should I come out my pockets when all I have is a name and a blurb about you?

If I came in with you, or I know you from outside the club … completely different. I have little problem with it. But there is little you can say to me in 15 minutes of conversation for me to roll the dice for $15 at you being in the small percentage of quality.

And please believe … I’ll be a Trump Tycoon individual still giving girls the stink eye when they ask for drinks!

To start things off … I don’t go around grabbing random asses.  I’m not saying I never did, but that was back in high school (ok … may have done it in college too … but only when liquor was involved).  But this post isn’t just about ass grabbing … its so much more.

My female friends (Only have 2 true female friends) and some acquaintances have continually spoken out against the “agressiveness” of guys when going to a club, lounge, or other “social” scene.  There are several actions that are listed as “unwarranted” and “extreme”, including but not limited to:

• Grabbing ass (booty)
• Grabbing and arm firmly and not letting go
• Yelling loudly at you referring to some physical characteristic (”Hey you … in the pink … with the titties”)
• Yelling loudly refering to articles of clothing (”Hey Parsucos!”)
• Coming up really close (withint 4 inches of the face), with no introduction, to talk
• Pulling one’s Penis out while dancing (True Story!)

And the list goes on …

So I am often asked “Why do you guys do that?  Its such a turn off and I would never entertain a guy that did that!!!”.  Well, I always have the same response.

Someone is reponding well to it … otherwise he wouldn’t do it.

Yes, its that simple.  Not every girl has these standards of respect and acceptable behavior. There are a lot of women (often bucket heads) who respond favorably to it.  If every single girl hated it … no guy would do it!  Its a basic principal of economics and free markets, but you don’t need to know that to figure it out.  Guys don’t do what doesn’t work … how else do you explain the death of Jerry Curls, white Gators, and them Old school perms.

Also, the numbers game comes into play.  If your in a crowded after hours enviroment, as a guy, you are presented with more women than you can realistically talk to in the time given.  What better way to thin the crowds and find “Mrs. Right Now” than by doing something abrasive, then ignoring all the girls that react badly, and put in work on whoever doesn’t slap you.  Whoever is willing to have her ass grabbed and still entertain conversation … probably is lacking scruples, or at least is willing to put them on hold for now.  She might be the one to get in your car after one more drink!

In the end, for those of you truly against this behavior (which does taper off as the years go on … and diminishes at certain types of venues) there is one simple solution to ending it for good … stop responding to it and blatantly carry anyone who tries it … and then go tell all your friends to do the same.  If a guy can’t get some “play” from it … he’ll stop doing it.

Part of me feels like this is common knowledge and I’m not saying anything new … but part of me feels like I hear the complaint too often for that to be true.

Ladies: Does the ass grab do it for you?
Fellas: Is the ass grab working for you?

*Disclaimer* - The name was developed a long time ago at a different point in my life.  I have already introduced the BB moniker to others and don’t want to change it … so if your offended … don’t be and stop crying
                                                                                   - The Management 

To start this one, I have to talk about the percentile ranking. Every guy can be judged in a relatively absolute ranking system that should put us all on equal footing (kind of like the fallacy of APR when shopping mortgages). Its relatively simple, but I’ll explain.

If your in a club (average run of the mill) … how many girls out of 100 would actually entertain conversation with you based on looks.  That number … is your percentile ranking.

Now, its a little more complicated than that. Most guys are instantly hit with a 10%-20% drop which he isn’t responsible for. Not every girl wants to talk. A lot of females go to the club to enjoy the music, or because its her friends birthday, or maybe she has a strict “I don’t meet guys in the club” policy (I agree with her). Simply stated … there is going to be some female who just doesn’t want to entertain conversation with you … that is … unless your a coveted B*tch Breaker!

The B*tch Breaker (BB for short … and forgive the vulgarity of the name, I came up with it back in college and I was a “different” person back then) is the guy who is not (or rarely) affected by that inherent drop. Something about him … his look, his clothes, his swagger … allows him to approach practically any girl and get at least some attention. Married, Dating, committed man standing next to her, gay … doesn’t matter. He is the fabled person who can see a group of girls dancing with each other … utterly obsessed with turning down every guy that approaches them … and break this group of … females.

Everyone should have a BB in the crew (guys that is). He will open doors once closed, he turns impossible mountains into tiny foothills, he is the key to the once locked door. And if he knows of his power, and has decided to use it for good (easing his search for Ms. Right, helping his friend to enjoy their night) instead of evil (living an endless string of one night stands, breaking hearts) … he is also a great friend.

I guess this can apply to females also, but its significantly less significant. Us guys are dumb … and we’re downright imbeciles for an even moderetaly attractive woman. Damn near any girl above a 6.5 (out of 10) is a female BB.

Does this fabled figure exist? Can you (females) think of the time you were determined to not talk to any guy … yet that one person still managed to leave with your number? Are you that BB?