Single Black Male

As a guy, deciphering a woman’s real feelings towards you is a science. Yes, there are still some good honest women who just want to find a good man, don’t play games, and know how to treat a man. They are the ones you want to marry, mother your children, and spend all your time and energy on … and they deserve it.

Sadly, a large portion of the female population aren’t quite as perfect. Its easy that the girl your talking to or spending time & money on doesn’t really like you, but just wants attention, your money, or a Fake Ass Boyfriend. I touched on this before with Indicators of Interest, but this is the cheat sheet. Its important to weed them out (unless they are sleeping with you … cause aint nothing wrong with a “Friend With Benefits”) … so here are 5 little tips to help weed them out.

She Actually Calls You Without Asking for Something

Women hate calling men they don’t like. Its a waste of time for them, and the whole time they will be rolling their eyes as you talk and thinking “Why am I on the phone”. They will seem distant and uninterested.  And if every call is just to set up a date at a restaraunt or to ask for money or gifts … burn it up!
On the flip, if she really likes you (and is mature), she will want to talk to you and return your calls and even initiate a conversation. If her number never comes up on your phone … think about it.

She Pays for Something … Anything

If she is just looking to use you … she will not pay for anything. Also, paying for a man is like a cardinal sin for 90% of women. It doesn’t have to be significant or major, even if its the popcorn and drinks at the movies (which you bought the tickets too) … it is significant. If she offers to by you dinner, then rest easy my friend … she likes you.

She Invites You Over to Spend the Night

You might have sex with her this time, but thats OK. A woman (and most men) don’t want some stranger they don’t like in their house … so if your invited in that means something. If your invited over and then told to spend the night (in the same room), there is a chance that she likes you. Someone who doesn’t want you in their living space and always wants to meet at Ruth’s Chris (or some equally pricey restaurant or bar) … is probably playing you. Drop her …

She Does Something She Knows Only You Will Like

This is basic and gender neutral, but very significant when done by a woman for a man. A woman is not going to waste her time actual listening to your likes and interests if she does not like you … let alone actually act on them. If she takes to time to buy, arrange, plan, or just find that one thing that is particular to you … good chance she likes you. It also counts if its something that all guys like, but most women hate (that threesome you always wanted).

She Leans In to Kiss You

Very Significant! A woman kissing you is by itself is a sign, because while we think “would I sleep with her” … women think “would I kiss him”. But don’t be fooled, you can surprise her and she may kiss you back out of a feeling of commitment or obligation. If you lean in, but not all the way … and she comes towards you to kiss you … thats powerful. That means she wants to kiss you, and likes you enough to let actually come to you.

This one is for the guys. Take these … use them … and feel free to add, argue, or call bullsh*t on anything I have to say … but at the end of the day … if she shows all 5 … 95% she actually likes you and isn’t trying to play you.

I have talked about my theory of Fundamental Character Flaws and believe everyone should have a list of things that they simply cannot stand for in terms of a mate (dealbreakers). It makes sense that there are some things you deserve to receive from your mate, and its good to know what you want. But … what happens when you really don’t know what you know … or when you “know” too much. That’s when:

Knowing what you want goes wrong!

Lets examine two examples of then “knowing what you want … goes wrong”.

The 100 Page List Writer

This woman has envisioned the perfect man since the day she stopped thinking boys were “icky”. She knows what he looks like, where he went to school, what cologne he wears, his shoe size, what fraternity he is in, and what flavor of syrup he likes on his pancakes. She will know him when she meets him (because of an elaborate scoring system she designed in grad school to quickly identify him) and all she has to do is wait in the right place (because she already knows the types of places he goes and the type of women he likes).

The Know Nothing Know-it-all

This man knows exactly what turns him on and isn’t going to settle for less. His list isn’t as exact, but it has all the major things in terms of her likes and career goals and motivations. He knows what he wants.
Oddly enough, he knows very little about himself. He doesn’t know what he wants to do with his degree, he can’t tell you want movies he regular sees, and even when he goes to buy lotion … they just all look so good!
And more interesting, he is the same way with women. While his first girlfriend had everything he asked for, every girl he has dated afterward has been different and opened his eyes in some way.
But damned if you can tell him he doesn’t know what he wants!

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