Single Black Male

As I was roaming around the web checking blogs, I came across this one post entitled “Do guys really want an old-fashioned wife?”, and I couldn’t help but think about my posts on Stay At Home Wives and the Death of Chivalry. One quote that I loved was:

What I’m seeing is that women are the ones that want to be old fashioned - the stay-at-home-mom and housewife - while men seem to want their wife to have some sort of marketable skill and to help out with the family finances.

Apparently SBM isn’t so crazy after all. Sure, it was just a question posted to a forum and this is just another blog, but I think the idea that there is a significant and widespread shift in the expectations of men and women and age old gender role definitions is well supported by this.

And for certain people, *cough* Comeback Girl *cough*, that the ways of our grandmothers … isn’t the way we live … and its not the way our kids will live.

Hey … or maybe I’m just too “new school”.

My fellow blogger (who I have a secret crush on), The Comeback Girl, wrote a post dedicated to lil ol’ me, called “One Ringy Dingy, Two Ringy Dingy (Mama’s Little Husband)” which is a very … “interesting” read.

My Interpretation of the post:
Comeback girl feels that us men have been coddled by our mothers and have developed an arrogant flair about us. We no longer feel the need to do participate in the traditional courtship “rituals” that were laid out by our fathers and grandfathers.
Women liberation, while not a bad thing, was not crafted for black women, and they have suffered as a result. The “niceties” they were used to being given by men are no longer practiced and it is hard for them to feel “soft and pink”.
The Comeback Girl is fed up (it seems a lot because we don’t call like we used to).

OK … well … ummmm … before I say anything else … I love you Comeback Girl … really. I read your blog on the regular and love what you have to say (well mostly). I think the post may be in retaliation because I called her out for saying “I’m sorry, if you have time to go to the bathroom you have time to call.” Honestly, I was kind of mad when I read this, but I guess thats another post. Sorry Comeback Girl … but that Ringy Dingy post was all wrong.

Chivalry is dying … and its a good thing!

Chivalry (A SBM Defintion):
Concept of a man doing extraneous, overly nice, and helpful things for a woman … only because she is a woman.
Archaic principle used to “even” the playing field in a time where it was an accepted fact that women were inferior to men … a concept generally disregarded in 2008.

In 2008, women (especially black women) are independent, intelligent, smart, educated, good money earning entities capable and successfully running their own businesses, households, and empires. The “Women’s Liberation” movement did a lot to ensure that women were given fair and equal treatment and access as their male counter parts. A lot of guys didn’t and don’t like this idea … I personally welcome it.

But wait … did you say “equal” SBM? Doesn’t equal mean that on the same footing? Doesn’t equal mean treated the same?

Why … yes it does.

Here is my problem (finally … I know)!

You can’t be equal and independent … yet still want all the perks of when you were “weak” and “helpless”. (more…)