Tag Archive for 'guest blogger'

Thursdays Feature: Mean Black Women

Published
by
SBM
on August 28, 2008
in Guest Post
. 397 Comments

So its another Thursday and another featured blogger.  This comes from “The Late (not so great) 20’s”, a great spot you should check out.  Now, I read this post and feel I really need to write a reply, but I need to highlight her work … but sadly … I disagree so much.

Won’t go into now, but if your in a club, and a guy is talking to you HE IS INTERESTED!!! It is a club.  If it was walmart, or maybe in line at the DMV, or somewhere you go everyday … while he still has the right to approach you, this argument makes a little sense.  But sorry … if you have a BF … please don’t give us young brothas hope … it crushes our fragile little hearts … and now I done bought a drink for someone who I’m not gonna take home (crime against nature).

Why Are Black Women So Mean?

You’re angry from just reading the title aren’t you? lol This is a topic that is always up for debate; most recently on a post I read on Stuff Black People Hate. The issue? Why are black women so unapproachable?

Rather than counter-argue, and defend my entire race…. I’d prefer to share an experience I had recently.

A friend of mine accompanied me to a club I’ve been curious about. It was just the two of us, not a herd. Anyhow, we were kickin it, chillaxin in a corner when a man approached me. He was mildly attractive, white male, friendly demeanor so when he approached I was not defensive or instantly agitated. In fact, I engaged in conversation with him for 20 minutes or so (could have been longer). We laughed, joked, etc. He was headed back to the bar and asked if I wanted anything. Initially I said no but he pushed (so much so that I sort of wondered if I should accompany him in case he tried to slip me something) and eventually I accepted the offer.

He returned with my drink and we chatted it up some more. I have to say that I honestly thought he was a cool guy and never anticipated the following;

Him; “So we seem to get along well, maybe we can have dinner sometime? Can I take you out?”
Me; “Oh, I am so sorry. I am actually in a relationship right now.”
*Stares at me like I stole the oxygen mask off his dying grandmother
Him; “YOU WHAT? Man, I wish you would have told me all of that before!”
*Stare at him and wonder if it is possible he slipped a knife past the metal detector
Me; “I’m sorry, it didn’t come up. I thought we were just kickin it. Didn’t realize you were interested.”
Him; “If you weren’t so cool, I would ask you for my money back.”

Mmm Hmm….THAT my dears is why black women tend to be a little standoffish. Being nice just gives the wrong damn impression!

BTW … I would have asked for my money back.

Thursday Feature: Hands That Stand …

Published
by
SBM
on August 21, 2008
in Guest Post
. 190 Comments

This post comes from a resident commenter Ms. Deveraux at her blog The Journey of Ms. Deveraux and kicks off me featuring a different writer/blogger/ person who has something to say.  Enjoy.

ADMIRE: to regard with wonder, pleasure, or approval

One thing about living in Chicago that I wouldn’t normally experience in Texas is the personal interactions of strangers on a daily basis. I began to notice the amount of blue collar workers around the city. Oddly enough many of them are black men; of course I love black men who will work, I love your hustle, I am your cheerleader. Plus most of them are very handsome! If I had money I would treat all the hard working blue and white collar black men to a day of pampering and just showing appreciation for all their hard work and struggles. Everyday I see one sweeping the subway stairs, moping the lobby of an office building, riding on the back of the garbage truck, directing traffic, driving the bus, working behind the security desk, lugging cases of drinks in the convenient store. I always look at most of these men and wonder how often they are told they are appreciated and you are doing a good job.

Then you have the white collar black men, who I see walking in the financial district or in the downtown office building dressed in their suits, armed with their briefcase, and ready to do their best in a corporate game that doesn’t really want them around. I believe black men have it the hardest and I am not sure we say I am proud of you or I appreciate you often enough. There are times when if you just say hello or how you doing that could brighten their day especially some of the mean looking black women (sorry but its no secret ya’ll look mean) something to make them smile it can add a boost to there already hard day.

The other day I saw a black man that was maybe in his 50’s crying on the bus. I couldn’t imagine what would bring this grown man to tears on a bus full of strangers. He wasn’t crying hard or loud but you could see the tears flowing from his eyes. My heart hurt for him and all I could do was write him a note saying I didn’t know what burdened him, but that I would pray for him and he should trust the Lord with his issues. It’s hard out here in this world but I think for black men they have it the hardest.

We need our black men they are the hands we stand on. I just think it would be nice if we weren’t so busy being mad that they weren’t dating someone who looked like us and paid more attention to uplifting and appreciating them, then maybe we could start a change one person at a time. The next time you see a black man whether or not you have as many close interaction as I do here in the city, SMILE and say hello. The next time one opens the door for you SMILE and say thank you. If you are close enough, SMILE and say how are you doing today? If you have one living in your home and he gets up everyday and go face a world that doesn’t want him there, when comes home let him know you appreciate him.

I could go on and on, but you all know what I am talking about lets learn to appreciate our hardworking black men.

When you think about a black man what comes to your mind?

When is the last time you told a black man you ADMIRE him?

Please respond to these questions, I am asking for a reason.