Tag Archive for 'love'

America’s Online Love

Published
by
Slim Jackson
on December 31, 2008
in Relationships and Stories
. 17 Comments

*** Admin Note ***
SingleBlackMale.net will be taking New Years Day off … and maybe Friday too if I’m not over from the hangover of NYE in the ATL!  Don’t miss me too much … check the blogroll … plenty of good stuff for ya.
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It feels so good to have internet access in my life once again. While I was at home for the holidays, my Blackberry was having network issues and I couldn’t find any unsecure networks to hop on and get my daily fix. I was struggling. Luckily for me, I went to my cousin’s crib and he had the high speed stuff upstairs. I lost myself in the e-world and became anti-social for about 35 minutes before returning to the real world. I must’ve looked high when I came back downstairs. It was seriously heroine in my veins.

As I was perusing the net, I logged into all the usuals: Three Ways, Gmail, SBM, Facebook, Black Planet , AIM, Twitter, etc. Each site was like injecting just a bit more wholesome goodness, until Myspace gave me a temporary buzz kill. Ever since I updated my location and changed my pic, I’ve been getting an influx of add me requests, messages, and generic comments. I log in like every 3-4 days just to clear things up and make sure I didn’t miss a message or friend request from the woman of my dreams…sike. As I was cleaning up the inbox this time, I noticed a very dark picture and someone telling me they lived in Boston and what phone number I could reach them at. At this point, I was pretty sketched out. I had already deleted an assortment of “hey cutie” and “maybe we can hang out one day” messages, but this one was different.

Out of curiosity, I went to the person’s page where I found no other pictures but noticed all 10 of the person’s friends were dudes with shirts off. I also noticed the person had relocated from Atlanta. This was enough to tip me off and scare me away. Request deleted and my high fading, I left Myspace only to return a few days letter and notice another message from this person. This time it was “so I guess you’re not gonna call me are you?” as if this wasn’t evident in my lack of response the first time. I’m a heterosexual male! There’s nothing in my profile that indicates I wanna meet up with men off the internet to engage in acts of parfaitness! My friends are a combo of men (fully clothed) and women (some scantily clad). My profile says interested in women and my about me isn’t ambiguous at all. I’m from upstate NY, not ATL, DC, or San Fran (No disrespect to any of those wonderful places). I mean damn, to each their own, but leave me out of your e-tomfoolery.

People are really bold online nowadays, especially in the slums of Myspace. Whether it’s the homie (not that there’s anything wrong with that) hoping I’m on the DL, or the women throughout the country telling me I’m sexy and that we should talk sometimes, I get equally as weirded out. Anonymity does wonders….then again, these people aren’t really anonymous. And no, I’m not full of myself. I’m sure many of the folks here get these messages on the regular even with the ante-upped privacy settings.

It just amazes me how open and willing people are to begin something over the internet that materializes into an in-person interaction. Even with all the crazy stories that we hear, people are still willing to look for love and pleasure online. Not me, not I. I think people are a bit nutty out there. But again, to each their own.

I’d be curious to hear some of the online horror or funny stories that people have encountered on sites like Myspace, Blackplanet, and Facebook. Some of us can probably just log in and then copy/paste what was said. I’m also curious as to why people are so willing nowadays to seek love on the web? Let it all out folks. You know you want to…

P.S. Let’s try to keep it somewhat PC.

There’s a Thin Line Between Love and Like

Published
by
Slim Jackson
on December 10, 2008
in Definition
. 37 Comments

*** SBM Admin Note ***
My newfound friends over at Rants of a Wild Child are holding a little … group activity … for bloggers.  You are to pick another blogger that you have a crush on and submit your sexual fantasy about them to be posted.  Go to their site for details.  I tell you know … I will have the dirtiest, filthiest, most off the wall, swinging from rooftops with handcuffs type of tale this side of the Mississippi.  I invite all my fellow bloggers to follow suite.
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Monday’s post was so damn interesting that I struggled to come through with a strong follow up. In the end, yesterday’s content inspired this post in a roundabout way.

There’s a thin line between love and like. Both of the terms are thrown around on the regular. We may tell family members that we love them. We may tell our best friends that we love them, and men may even forget to say “no homo” sometimes when conveying the message to one of the fellas in times of crisis. Actually, a dude will prolly say “You know if you ever need anything, I got you fam. We a cohesive unit. We da best!” (hetero disclaimer goes here). Yeah, that’s conveying the same thing. That’s a different type of love in my opinion. Some may disagree. That’s fine.

But seriously, I think a lot of us confuse love with a strong level of like or desire to remain in our comfort zones when it comes to relationships. Some men/women are skilled at the art of gettin people to fall in love (Con artists make a nice clean example of how this works) with them. Hence, a fella being p*ssy-whipped or having that good stuff surroundin his member. Good stuff could be the ultimate mouth hug or the comforting security of the “love walls”. Dude ends up there afterwards flaccid with toes curled thinkin to himself “I love this chick!” No you don’t homie. You just really like the state she just put you in. Wait 20 minutes then see how you feel. I bet that feeling subsides.

On the flip, a chick may be gettin the most endowed enriched dose of vitamin D in history and find herself panting, tossing and turning, and clenchin her legs together while thinkin about that special somebody. Yeah, that person may be cool and decent looking. That’s important. She may tell her girls or close male friend that she loves him, but chances are she likes him and loves his stroke/face game. Ya see, there’s a difference. I won’t even talk about what happens when a dude snatches a v-card, since that was so long ago for most of us. Lastly, a couple may have been together so long that one or both people think they love each other, but they’re really just comfortable where they’re at. Regardless, this is some complicated ass sh*t.

I’ve found myself in situations before where I was trying to decipher if I actually loved the person (100% women. None of that flaky ATL stuff), liked them a lot, or if I was just extremely comfortable where I was at. One thing I’ve been very careful about is throwing that love word out there. It’s not a tactic I’d ever use to get the bunz. That’s how dudes end up in court rooms fighting restraining orders, fixing their damaged car, or waking up to their breakfast sausage layin detached next to them. For every action, there’s a reaction…and it isn’t always pleasant when it comes to love.

The sh*t gets even more complex when you don’t love the person that loves you or vice versa. How do you tell someone you don’t love them after they confessed their love to you? How do you handle being told you’re not loved once you put yourself out there. Unless you’re emotionless, those are awkward and tough situations to be in. Some would say “It’s about maturity. Next topic.”, but from discussions I’ve had with people around me of all ages in person and on my site, I’d argue that most of us don’t feel it’s that simple. I’ve even noticed that a few people who’ve been reading SBM have mentioned divorce and already dealing with a lot of this. I’d be curious to hear their input on this post.

I know this is turning into a ramble, but my greater purpose was to find out how people gauge if they love someone…if they even think about it. Some say love doesn’t require a thought as much as it does an emotion which people just recognize. I kinda disagree. I’m also curious if people have had the “I love you” dropped on them and didn’t respond the way the person hoped or vice versa and how that turned out? And another question, how many folks out there thought they were in love with the person and then realized they confused love with lust?

Curiously Strong,

Can I Get a Lap Dance?

Published
by
Slim Jackson
on December 2, 2008
in Sex
. 60 Comments

Situation 1

Dude: Baby, why dontcha turn some music on and show me what you workin wit? Let me see them dance moves you were talkin bout, less all the clothes…

Chick: *Sucks teeth* What do I like? I ain’t no ho’!

Dude: I’m just sayin, I thought it’d be kinda sexy…

Chick: Nah, I ain’t no stripper ass chick. You need to go to the club with your boys or watch one of them tapes you got in your closet if you think it’s gonna be like that!

Dude to self: No wonder I gotta slide off.

Situation 2

Dude: Why don’t you go a little further below the waist this time girl? You know I like that kinda thing…

Chick: Do I look like your ho’? I told you I don’t do that. That’s nasty. You messin’ wit the wrong one if you think it’s gonna be that kinda party!

Dude to self: I can work your inner walls, but you can’t speak into the microphone a little bit? I can be a thin layer of latex, lambskin, or polyurethane away from impregnating you, but you can’t just hug me orally? Good thing your home girl does it.

What do both of these situations have in common?

Frustration.

There are some women out there who think they are above and beyond certain reasonable activities for their boo or significant other. The things mentioned in the 2 scenarios are a couple of the most popular, both of which require a woman to have some confidence. I think we can all agree that confidence is sexy. The word swagger has been thrown around lately. Let’s also assume that the average woman considers herself classy..at least I hope that’s the case. Yet somehow, there’s still a good chunk of the population that feels doing either of the things mentioned above somehow indicates a lack of class.

I mean c’mon. It’s not like we’re asking you to let us deploy the platoon on your grill (Cuz that’s what we do the jump offs regardless of what they say.) Honestly though, there aren’t many things sexier than seeing shorty work the hips with some dance moves, end up our lap, and then take us to a happy place. It’s a win-win for both parties. For the latter scenario, it’s still a win win. If the relations overall are good, one should feel good makin the boo feel good. Unfortunately, a lot of folks still don’t see it that way.

Sometimes we need a little bit more than that mean ride game or that certifiable bangin’ throw back action. There’s nothing wrong with a woman exercising her confidence in a way that goes above and beyond coitus (pronounced sex). Thinking that one is above and beyond certain activities (within reason) is not sexy. A nose up will make the piece go down. Nobody wants that. And yeah I know, it’s a two way street. But I’m just sayin, can you put that shirt next to the Prada bag and show me what you workin wit?

Thoughts? Opinions? Scenarios?

Slim “Baby why dontcha” Jackson

Sorry Shorty. I Can’t Help You.

Published
by
Slim Jackson
on November 19, 2008
in Guest Post
. 19 Comments

***** Admin Note *****
I want to welcome and introduce Slim Jackson. He writes over at Three Ways to Take It and has decided to bless us with posts, we’re still banging out (pause) the details, but I figured everyone would eventually get tired become over stimulated with my compelling writing … so time to bring on other poignant SBMs.  Enjoy
- SBM
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In the world where people can see my face and not just an avatar or alias, I carry a lot of female friends. Yes, I’m the exception to the rule. I’m the sexy heterosexual male that has a lot (pronounced 3-4) of platonic relationships. Seriously though, there’s no touchy touchy feely feely.

I’m the relationship counselor and adviser for many a woman trying to understand a dude, get a dude, lose a dude, or outwit a dude. I’m also the dude tryna stop other dudes from effin up and ended up stalked or in a court room. But sometimes, there’s a conflict of interest. Even while trying to be a good friend to my platonic lady friends, I recognize the Man Laws out there and try to avoid committing crimes of Hate on my brethren. Nobody wants to be the snake-@ss pillow talkin herb (remember that word?) that always seems like he’s hating just so he can get some bunz. I went to school with those type of dudes and I remember how much I wanted to chop them in the throat. Example:

“I’m tellin’ you. He’s been slidin with chicks recklessly. I seen him and his boys runnin a train in the basement after the party last week. He’s not good for you (But I am)”

Now I’d never actually say this about a dude unless I blatantly disliked him. At the same time, I wouldn’t let a good lady friend jump onto a gigantic piece bed of nails. So perhaps I’d say something more along the lines of:

“A lot of girls like dude. Are you sure you wanna deal with that?”

If she doesn’t get the slight hint, then she may have to be on her own…unless I heard a rumor that he’s burning up wit the Bumpy Johnson. But yeah, there are some things I can’t help a chick with regardless of how good a friend she is. One of those things is helping her find a man. It’s just a conflict all around. If I introduce her to any of the dudes I know, she’ll most likely end up angry at me cuz she got some Vitamin D and none of the residual (long term relationship) benefits. If she’s lucky, she’ll get a few good O’s. Then again, we all know how tough that can be for you women folk. I digress though. Point is that the dude will be salty at me cuz now he has to deal with awkward conversations explaining why he doesn’t want anything more with shorty that a Sexual Eruption. She’ll be salty cuz I set her up for failure like a bad coach or teacher. If it’s some other random dude I pointed her to, I’ll have to solve all their issues going forward until they burn each other’s house down. I don’t want a part of any of that.

So in the wonderful world of blogging, I’ll continue to advise, offer opinions, and play internet matchmaker for those risky enough. But in the real world (ladies and sometimes gents), don’t ask me to help you find a significant other. I’ll find an excuse to avoid you until you wanna talk about sumthin else.

- Slim “I’ll help you break up with your significant other but won’t help you find one” Jackson

Love Goggles

Published
by
SBM
on September 30, 2008
in Laws of Attraction
. 360 Comments

***** Admin Note *****
For those that miss the Twitter Feed on th site … its coming back … it was causing some issues.  You can follow my twitter site or add me on myspace with the links on the page now.  Enjoy
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She is beautiful, goergeous, and just sooooooo sexy.  You look at her and think to yourself … “how did God craft a creature so perfect … and then bless me with her.”  You worship every part of her body … her well curved hips, her pouty lips that beg to be kissed, her impeccable belly button that you feel the need to visit every night, the soft skin that you love to touch and caress, and those eyes that allow you to look deep into and lose yourself.  She is the prototype in every way … and her beauty is matched by none.  You see her through those rose tinted “love goggles.”

Sad thing … all your friends with their regular “shades” see her for the 300 pound, bald headed, hair legged, abomination of nature that she really is (with a lopsided titty).

Yes … love goggles … aka the “Shallow Hal” effect.

I can’t speak for everyone … but I know for me … when I really really like someone … and truly when I love them … can’t no one tell me she isn’t a dime.  Everything about her body is beautiful to me.  Every curve of her body, her eyes, her lips, her thighs … even her p*ssy lady parts becomes something to behold.

I have actually met a girl who I thought was midly attractive … well … not attractive at all … and then become so engrossed with her personality and being that she soon became georgous in my eyes.

On the other hand … it’s a telltale way for me to determine when I’m over someone.  I will actual look at an old picture and that feeling of “wow … your so beautiful” turns into “gotdamn … what was I thinking? I’ve got to stay off the drugs alcohol bad judgements”  Suddenly my personal Halle Berry turns into a regular low budget Missy Elliot (sorry ya’ll … she’s not cute).

Love goggles … they are very powerful tools and I love mine so very much.  It allows me to not be consumed by the phat a$$es and big titties pleasing asthetics I see every day when I’m committed to someone and focus on that special someone … because their beauty and sex appeal trump all others.

And I forgot the xray powers that love goggles give you.  If someone was capable of seeing through Halle Berry’s blinding beauty (yes ya’ll … she really is that fine) and see the true craziness that lies beneath … then they are doing their job.  These goggles will expose that firm breasted, onion booty model that just walked by for the bubble headed, hood rattish, golddigger that lies beneath.

Do you own a pair of love goggles?

Next time … the “her body is so good that I don’t care is she is stealing from me, sleeping with my brother, and calls me gay” glasses.