Single Black Male

I was talking with a friend and she told me something very interesting. Something that was so interesting I figured I would share it with you all … my family.

She decided to explain to me the two things that women need. I asked “only two things … you gotta be kidding me”. She admitted “I can’t speak for everybody … but it only takes two things for a man to keep me happy”. My interest had been piqued at this point and I lean into the phone. I mutter “so tell me … what are the two things to keep a woman happy”. I can almost hear her lean in to whisper this answer to me … I guess she didn’t want the world overhearing me. Mouth watering, possibilities racing through my mind, I await as she opens her mouth. I hear:

“Good sex and head”

I wanted to hang up the phone.

Thats what I was waiting for? Thats the “secret” to keeping a woman happy? I felt bamboozled!

So … being the argumentative asshole that I am, I quickly challenge this statement and poke holes in her “theory”. “So”, I say, “good dick and good head. Really? Thats it”

“Yes. But I will admit … its got to be really good”

“What about if he doesn’t talk? I mean he is emotionally distant, doesn’t ask you ‘how was your day?’, doesn’t care how your feeling, etc.”

“Who cares? We’re just having sex”

Ok … so now I’m starting to think. Maybe this chic is talking about some other stuff. “So … your husband doesn’t need to talk to you? You’re cool with that?”

“Husband. Who said anything about my husband”

“What are you talking about then?”

“I don’t know” She replies kind of blankly.

“All you did was define the requirements for a cut buddy”

This is why girls are dumb and rocks should be thrown at them (no offense to my friend of course).

How long can a guy who really is no good (I mean no job, borrows money, looks at other women, lives at home, and plays xbox 360 all day) stay in your “good graces” if he is providing nothing more than toe curling sex and award winning cunnilingus? I would ask the same question for the guys … but damnit if we don’t all know the answer to that!