Single Black Male

Sorry for that little hiatus. Besides the fact that there was just way too much going on … I also didn’t mention I was going to Puerto Rico for the past couple of days. I’m so relaxed now … so relaxed.

So, a faithful reader sent me an email saying:

Ok she was kicking it with a dude like 2 years ago, and some how the ex got hold of her phone and searched her current mates number and called it. The guy ended up breaking it off with her because of this phone call. She dunno what her ex said to him but she figure it was something along the lines of why you callin my woman type deal.

She really liked dude and til this day she wonders what coulda been. She feels like she didnt get a chance to plea her case about what happen and she needs closure but he wont return calls, or respond to emails. If you was him what would you do? would you give her a chance to explain. I mean I know females come a dime a dozen but this one mighta been a keeper and her ex fucked it up. Can you atleast hear her out??

Honestly, I don’t have no sympathy for the chic. Maybe its my Ice Cold demeanor … maybe its the lack of emotions … maybe its some deep seated misogyny … who knows.

Personally, the whole situation is highly suspect. How does your ex of 2 years get your phone? Why does he know the name of your current “mate”? What did you do to him that was so foul that he feels the need to call and warn this new person? How serious was your “situation” that he cut you off without so much as a “break up” call?

The whole thing reeks. I really don’t trust the girl as some innocent person and if whatever the ex said was good enough … then so be it. I am generally a firm believer of cutting people off. I am also a believer of cutting people off without an explanation if they don’t deserve an explation.

Sorry … but I guess your girl just didn’t deserve an explanation (and know the “She really liked dude” carries no weight)!

Here is another reader submission.

What if your boyfriend has a high sex drive (he wants to do it everyday)? You thought you had a healthy sex drive ( I prefer about 3 times a week), but you can’t keep up and it’s causing problems between you and your man. What should a woman do?
Signed
Three Times (a) Lady

As a guy who really likes sex … I want to say “give in … just eat more clams” … but my advice would suck then

As with almost anything else involving relationships … I think compromise is going to be the key. If he wants 7 times a week, then its going to be hard for 3 times to suffice. Personally, I would start by getting that number down from 7. Even I as a virile young man don’t want to f*ck 7 times a week (I thought I did in college … but I grew up and started working). If you try talking about it and come up with a good number in between … it might be win win.

Also … luckily with sex … there is a lot of room for compromise. There is “sex of the mouth” and “manual stimulation” that may be able to hold him over on come of the other nights.

Lastly … there are plenty of ways to increase your sex drive. Try some aphrodisacs (spanish fly, clams, tiger penis … I hear, and they say viagra works for women too!) and try some new things. Sex in public … new orifices (and don’t say “ewww”) … some role play … and more stuff that I don’t want to put out there publicaly.

I think if you really like this guy … your gonna have to talk about it … but your going to have to work with him. Sex is extremely important for men. I learned from a college level sexual education class that men are hornier because of biological reasons (hormone levels) … so one of the worst things you can do is ignore it or just assume “he’ll be ok … its not that important”. If you don’t address … he is libel to leave you or cheat.