Single Black Male

So its another Thursday and another featured blogger.  This comes from “The Late (not so great) 20’s”, a great spot you should check out.  Now, I read this post and feel I really need to write a reply, but I need to highlight her work … but sadly … I disagree so much.

Won’t go into now, but if your in a club, and a guy is talking to you HE IS INTERESTED!!! It is a club.  If it was walmart, or maybe in line at the DMV, or somewhere you go everyday … while he still has the right to approach you, this argument makes a little sense.  But sorry … if you have a BF … please don’t give us young brothas hope … it crushes our fragile little hearts … and now I done bought a drink for someone who I’m not gonna take home (crime against nature).

Why Are Black Women So Mean?

You’re angry from just reading the title aren’t you? lol This is a topic that is always up for debate; most recently on a post I read on Stuff Black People Hate. The issue? Why are black women so unapproachable?

Rather than counter-argue, and defend my entire race…. I’d prefer to share an experience I had recently.

A friend of mine accompanied me to a club I’ve been curious about. It was just the two of us, not a herd. Anyhow, we were kickin it, chillaxin in a corner when a man approached me. He was mildly attractive, white male, friendly demeanor so when he approached I was not defensive or instantly agitated. In fact, I engaged in conversation with him for 20 minutes or so (could have been longer). We laughed, joked, etc. He was headed back to the bar and asked if I wanted anything. Initially I said no but he pushed (so much so that I sort of wondered if I should accompany him in case he tried to slip me something) and eventually I accepted the offer.

He returned with my drink and we chatted it up some more. I have to say that I honestly thought he was a cool guy and never anticipated the following;

Him; “So we seem to get along well, maybe we can have dinner sometime? Can I take you out?”
Me; “Oh, I am so sorry. I am actually in a relationship right now.”
*Stares at me like I stole the oxygen mask off his dying grandmother
Him; “YOU WHAT? Man, I wish you would have told me all of that before!”
*Stare at him and wonder if it is possible he slipped a knife past the metal detector
Me; “I’m sorry, it didn’t come up. I thought we were just kickin it. Didn’t realize you were interested.”
Him; “If you weren’t so cool, I would ask you for my money back.”

Mmm Hmm….THAT my dears is why black women tend to be a little standoffish. Being nice just gives the wrong damn impression!

BTW … I would have asked for my money back.

“Man … I bought that girl a drink and didn’t even get the number”
“Ha ha … you simp ass b*tch”

This conversation occurred so many times in college its not even funny. I tell people to this day that me and all my friends had an official policy about buying drinks for women while in school, and for the years following … don’t do it!

I can actually remember the first time I bought a girl a drink that I didn’t know. I was in Atlanta and had just graduated, so early 20s. I had already signed my offer letter and knew how much I would be making, so I was living on credit and enjoying life (don’t worry … I had an internship and . I was spending plenty of money on myself … strip clubs … alcohol … you know … the usual.

Basically … I was chatting it up with this pretty young thang … hitting her with the Billy Dee like game. At some point she hints that I need to buy her a drink (something like “I need to get my night started”). At this point … time froze … and I was forced to think quick. Do I give her an excuse, potentially throwing away all the good game I had spit and time I had invested (about 15 minutes … but hey … time is time). So … I asked for the number right then and there … knowing in my head her response would govern who paid for her drink. She put them and her name into my phone (I think its still there too) … so I got her an Apple Washington … and unbeknown to her … she popped my cherry.

I had to physically have the number in my possession before I felt comfortable buying a drink. And trust … little has changed.

Why do I need to buy a woman a drink if we are having good conversation and you are interested in me? Do you need verification that I have money? Are you incapable of buying your own drink? Or is it a power play to see what you can get from me?

In support of my “Don’t buy em drinks” campaign … I have all kinds of stories from female friends. One friend got the drink, ducked under the guy’s arm, and yelled thank you over her shoulder as she headed back to the floor. And there are a million more where they guy got little to know acknowledgment or a half assed thank you

I could go on for days about this one … but basically … at the end of the day … I just don’t know you well enough to spend my money on you. Most women don’t go around giving handjobs to everyone that asks or talks to them … so why should I come out my pockets when all I have is a name and a blurb about you?

If I came in with you, or I know you from outside the club … completely different. I have little problem with it. But there is little you can say to me in 15 minutes of conversation for me to roll the dice for $15 at you being in the small percentage of quality.

And please believe … I’ll be a Trump Tycoon individual still giving girls the stink eye when they ask for drinks!