Single Black Male

One of my good friends in the blogosphere, Comeback Girl, canceled her text messaging plan because she felt that it was ruining her dating life. In a humorous “prank” call (I call it a prank cause it was funny and ludicrous), she let the rep know that apparently men text messaging her was in violation to the classic laws of chivalry.  So … now no man (friend, family member, loved one, etc) is capable of text messaging her and the call was ended with “maybe now I can find a husband”.

*super deep soul wrenching triple sigh*

Let me start by agreeing …

I do believe that when text messaging is the sole form of communication and a person is impossible to meet in person or reach over the phone, this is bad.  Obviously she shouldn’t reserve you to nothing more than 160 character messages littered with “OMG”, “SMH”, and “LOL”.  If they really have an interest in you, this person is going to want to hear your voice, see you in person, and talk to you.

Now … here is where I “respectfully” disagree …

GROW UP AND EXCEPT CHANGE

Whew … I feel better.

Phones have not always been around.  There was a time where you could not call the person you liked.  You had to write letters, buy stamps, mail them off, and communicate that way.  If they lived locally, you just stopped by in the hopes that they were home and available.  If they were gone or busy, you took your ass back home and tried again some other time.

When the phone came around, did people say “What’s this bullsh*t!  If he likes me … he wouldn’t call me … he would show up at my house and leave me a note.  I don’t play this ‘technology’ thing.  I want chivalry!”?

I hope not … cause it sounded stupid just typing it.

As we move forward in time … there are new forms of communication.  We hold on to older ones for their purposes, but we embrace and utilize the new ones.  Just because there is email … we didn’t give up on the postal system.  Just because there are cars don’t mean we have to walk 10 miles to show a person we love them.  Most of these new things allow us greater access to the people we love and care about.

When I’m in a meeting and can’t call the love of my life, but I see a missed call from her … a simple “I’m in a meeting text” is better than the no response she would get before. Kinda shows I care enough for her not to worry.

I actually dated someone with no cell phone period.  It was horrible.  I couldn’t catch them on their way to or from work.  There was no “I miss you” texts during the day and as soon as the time of our jobs shifted … communication became near impossible.

If killing texts is going to get someone a husband/wife … then all of us that are single and searching should cancel our cell phones and just have a house phone, disable all of our email accounts, give up on IM, and no fax machines either.  Since the person will have to make sure that they call you at the exact 4 hours a day you are at home … then they must love you! (Or your cheating on them and don’t want to give them easy access).

Please … everybody who buys into this … lets cut the bullsh*t.  Embrace the great things technology has brought us … just ensure their not misused and abused. Stop making these crazy demands under some archaic principles. The problem isn’t the text messages … the problem is the person who is sending you nothing but them.  Attack the problem at its core.   Life will be better …

Text messages has not and will never kill romance … people who don’t care kill romance!

“I haven’t talked to you in 4 days … whats wrong”
“Haven’t talked to me … I sent you 1500 text messages. I know what you’ve been up to every hour”
“I said talk”
“What the f*ck …”

I received a few emails asking me what I think about the use of text messaging for dating in the 2000s. I’ve had a few conversations with females (and a couple guys) alerting me to the hatred of SMS (the official name for text messages if u aint know). Apparently this invention has changed the game for years to come.

Personally … I am all for them (big surprise … right).

I yearn for human contact. I love to talk (I think I like to hear my own voice … spoken or written). My female friends will tell you about the hours I spent on the phone talking about whatever … back in college. They will also tell you how it all dried up as soon as I started working.

I will admit … text messaging isn’t a complete replacement for the phone. If your thinking about a relationship with a person and you hear their voice no more than once a week … thats a problem. If someone really really really likes you … they will call to talk to you, hear your voice, or just show that they like you (women gotta call too … this goes both ways). This … I will concede.

But I enjoy the newfound freedom to catch up with that special person while waiting in line at Subway. I like being able to hear about the randomness of your day as it actually occurs. And I appreciate the fact that although full blown conversation is out of the question (the presenter running the meeting might object to you telling you girl how vicious that head game was last night) … you still wanted to share something with me. And if that means I don’t have to spend a full 4 hours on the phone catching up with you every night … then even better.

Honestly, if there is anything text messaging, emails, IMs, and the other forms of constant text based communication … its overload. Needy people become even needier. Like VSB said too much is too much.

But I can’t finish this without saying … time is precious nowadays. If I can text you in my downtime, or while busy taking over the world … isn’t that worlds better than no call at all!

Embrace the text people … just not too much for you needy, I aint got my own life, I need to talk to you every 15 minutes, “what u mean your phone was off” type of people!