Tag Archive for 'Women'

Nerdy Women are Sexy: Talk code to me girl …

Published
by
SBM
on March 12, 2008
in About Me
. 22 Comments

I know no one can tell from this blog, because I have become a smooth, billy dee like individual, capable of good conversation and expressing his mind. This wasn’t always the case, and deep down in me … there lies a nerd.

Look at the resume. Studied Computer Science & Economics, did 5 internships as a software developer (electrical engineer in one) and currently work as a software developer. Got like all kind of tech toys, computers, and the sort. While I have plenty of interests that keep a good balance … there is definitely a inner nerd.

So how does this pertain to women. Its never come up as a minus for me. I have found that women actually like someone who can fix their computer … lol. But … it affects the things I look for in women.

I yearn for a nerd. I mean a programming, really high tech cell phone, slashdot reading, computer building, 3 computers in the house, can talk compilers type of nerd. I want someone who knows what polymorphism is, can differentiate SQL Server from MySQL, and can tell me the benefits of open source. I want her to talk code to get me in the mood.

for (i=0;i < 10: i++) kissMe(); …. Oooooohh Baby

So while this is not one of my “requirements” for a woman, it would be nice.

Alas, I have pretty much given up on this as a goal in life. Specifically to find an attractive black women who is a programmer … is like a one in a million shot. I thought I had found one … but she couldn’t even read Java. I knew of two back in College, (that counted as attractive, black, and programming) … but there were various reasons why those didn’t take off. Continue reading ‘Nerdy Women are Sexy: Talk code to me girl …’

Older Women: The Best Thing for a Young SBM

Published
by
SBM
on March 10, 2008
in Women
. 36 Comments

I’ve never been afraid of dropping hints about the type of women I like. A few times I’ve made mention of my love for women older than me. One of my commenter’s, Tiffany, asked me to elaborate on this … so here is my investigation. Young women need not apply!

Before I start, I should clarify “older woman”. For this argument, lets look at 29 and older. This actually cuts out a few years that are older than me, but it will be easier to make my point with this range. Personally, I haven’t really dated anyone under 25 in awhile, but usually I am in the upper 20’s, but went all the way to the upper 30’s once. And I dealt with plenty of young 20 somethings in college … so I’ve run the range. I don’t want people to think I’m some young guy in his mid 20’s looking for 50+ women to take care of me.

Lets examine a couple of the major age groups, until we finally work our way up to those beautiful older women.

18-23 Women
Often in college or recently out of high school. She doesn’t know what she wants in life often and is still discovering herself. Sometimes she is lively, fully of energy, and looking to explore and see new things. She can be so much fun.
But … she is often immature and childish. Because she is discovering herself, he sense of self may be lacking. She doesn’t know what she wants, you can never read her, and she loves to play games. She loves to play games. She consults her “girlfriends” on everything, she is self consumed, and puts little value in the qualities that make a “good man”. She often wants someone to spoil her without her having to give anything in the relationship. Poor and misguided.
Here you will find women who love the asshole, the thug, and the wannabe gangster. Earning potential, manners, and acts of romance aren’t important … she is at her most superficial.

24 - 28
She has now realized what it actually takes to make a Good Man. She has some sense now Continue reading ‘Older Women: The Best Thing for a Young SBM’

The Truth about SBM … A Hopeless Romantic

Published
by
SBM
on March 5, 2008
in About Me
. 32 Comments

Sometimes I feel like I don’t write enough about me.  While my aim is to share theories, concepts, arguments, and ideas on relationships and dating in a biased (yes … biased) but universally applicable form … I think I need to let everyone know about me every once in awhile.

For those who read my posts and comments, I probably come off in a “certain light”.  People probably think I’m overly picky about women, going through their backgrounds with a fine tooth comb, looking for potential problems, and double checking their credit score and the accreditation of their last school or complaining about how their are so few good women out here.  I bet people also think I’m this cold & ruthless “b*tches aint sh*t” type of guy.  I’ve spoke out about my hatred of simps, the fact that chivalry is kind of dead, and my love of independent women … and this might make me out to be a “bad” guy, but I’m going to take some time to set the record straight.

First … about me being picky.  F*ck yes I’m picky!  Looks have never been important enough for me to lament over, but if you don’t have things right in your life, I’m not the person to “build you up”. I like my women independent, working, smart, and strong-minded (while being open to criticism).  But thats not what this post is about … cause that’s true!  But you may be surprised to know that

This Single Black Male is a True Romantic

I know someone is reading this and is saying “HA!  Between him and Anitdater … where can you find more Misogyny”. But I tell you … its true.  And the single biggest reason for me being so picky is that I’m want to make sure I’m not putting all my love and energy (cause my gf’s always get a lot from me) into someone who just isn’t worth it in the end.

I like to give her random gifts.
I like to get her something they like as opposed to whats on sale.
I hate flowers … but if she does … I like to surprise her with her favorite kind and color.
I like giving her a massage … not because I’m gonna get some … because she looks so peaceful when I’m done.
I like Continue reading ‘The Truth about SBM … A Hopeless Romantic’

Moving On …

Published
by
SBM
on February 29, 2008
in Rantings
. 20 Comments

Over the past 3 days, been a lot of good back and forth and I think I can officially call The Comeback Girl my sister blog. Its been fun, but I can’t keep up with all of the comments and this is just to much.

Been some good comments and posts in response. I feel like there have been some really intellectual and eloquent statements, but I’m just going to end my participation with some general thoughts … but everyone else feel free to hate me, love me, or just yell at me.

  • Some women are just too demanding in my opinion and nothing is going to change them. If they need someone to open their car door, tie their shoes, pay for everything you want, and knock out your rent … I respect that … we just need to remain friends or cut buddies then.
  • Communication of your wants and needs are key to the success of a relationship. Guys need to be open about hearing what there girl wants and telling her what you need. Women, you need to realize we can’t read minds, so just say (in a positive constructive tone) what the problem is, and give us a chance to address it. If we don’t, then you have all rights to bounce or complain.
  • I will never agree with certain calling rules I have read over the past few days. I do believe in calling, and I will do it and enjoy it, but I refuse to have anyone complain to me if she is not putting in due diligence to call me (at least after “courting”).
  • Being busy doesn’t mean I’m not interested. Being busy means I’m busy. If I do nothing with my life and I use the excuse all the time thats one thing … but if I miss Tuesday’s call because the client had some pressing concerns … that me being busy.
  • Some of the views I have heard are extremely one sided. At one point I was almost convinced some women thought they needed to do nothing in the relationship except be there to answer their phone. One thing I have not heard at all is what is the woman’s role in things. What is she responsible for? What does she need to do to make the relationship work and prosper?

I think thats it for now. Maybe More later.

Chivalry is DEAD … well … Mortally Wounded

Published
by
SBM
on February 27, 2008
in Women
. 43 Comments

My fellow blogger (who I have a secret crush on), The Comeback Girl, wrote a post dedicated to lil ol’ me, called “One Ringy Dingy, Two Ringy Dingy (Mama’s Little Husband)” which is a very … “interesting” read.

My Interpretation of the post:
Comeback girl feels that us men have been coddled by our mothers and have developed an arrogant flair about us. We no longer feel the need to do participate in the traditional courtship “rituals” that were laid out by our fathers and grandfathers.
Women liberation, while not a bad thing, was not crafted for black women, and they have suffered as a result. The “niceties” they were used to being given by men are no longer practiced and it is hard for them to feel “soft and pink”.
The Comeback Girl is fed up (it seems a lot because we don’t call like we used to).

OK … well … ummmm … before I say anything else … I love you Comeback Girl … really. I read your blog on the regular and love what you have to say (well mostly). I think the post may be in retaliation because I called her out for saying “I’m sorry, if you have time to go to the bathroom you have time to call.” Honestly, I was kind of mad when I read this, but I guess thats another post. Sorry Comeback Girl … but that Ringy Dingy post was all wrong.

Chivalry is dying … and its a good thing!

Chivalry (A SBM Defintion):
Concept of a man doing extraneous, overly nice, and helpful things for a woman … only because she is a woman.
Archaic principle used to “even” the playing field in a time where it was an accepted fact that women were inferior to men … a concept generally disregarded in 2008.

In 2008, women (especially black women) are independent, intelligent, smart, educated, good money earning entities capable and successfully running their own businesses, households, and empires. The “Women’s Liberation” movement did a lot to ensure that women were given fair and equal treatment and access as their male counter parts. A lot of guys didn’t and don’t like this idea … I personally welcome it.

But wait … did you say “equal” SBM? Doesn’t equal mean that on the same footing? Doesn’t equal mean treated the same?

Why … yes it does.

Here is my problem (finally … I know)!

You can’t be equal and independent … yet still want all the perks of when you were “weak” and “helpless”. Continue reading ‘Chivalry is DEAD … well … Mortally Wounded’